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If He Only Had a Brain

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What would you do with a brain if you had one, Joe?
I could concentrate for hours
My presidential powers
To compensate Ukraine
For squashing my indictment
Just imagine my excitement
If I only had a brain
My son whose crack addicted
And I should be convicted
For crimes we can’t explain
To avoid repercussions
I could pin it on the Russians
If I only had a brain
Oh, I would theorize
Inflation’s on the rise
I’d admit we weaponized the FBI
And then I’d quit and run and hide
We stole the last election
There was no insurrection
The left has gone insane
I’d concede I’m a loser
And Pelosi is a boozer
If I only had a brain
I would not be just a pedo
An old perverted weirdo
A legacy of shame
Takin’ showers with my daughter
A molester under water
If I only had a brain
I could concentrate for hours
My presidential powers
To compensate Ukraine
For squashing my indictment
Just imagine my excitement
If I only had a brain
My son whose crack addicted
And I should be convicted
For crimes we can’t explain
To avoid repercussions
I could pin it on the Russians
If I only had a brain
Oh, I would theorize
Inflation’s on the rise
I’d admit we weaponized the FBI
And then I’d quit and run and hide
We stole the last election
There was no insurrection
The left has gone insane
I’d concede I’m a loser
And Pelosi is a boozer
If I only had a brain
I would not be just a pedo
An old perverted weirdo
A legacy of shame
Takin’ showers with my daughter
A molester under water
If I only had a brain
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