Is autism JUST trauma? (What’s the link between autism, trauma and psychological safety?)

Autism and Trauma are two very different things, yet they can look so similar. Why is that? What’s the link that binds them together? For many autistic adults untangling autism from trauma is a challenging yet powerful process. This video outlines the links to psychological and emotional safety that are necessary for embracing autism and healing from trauma.

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction
00:27 - Autism and Trauma
01:07 - Reaction to stress that's commonly associated with Autism
01:58 - 'The Body Keeps The Score' book by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
02:47 - Characteristics of Developmental Trauma Disorder
04:42 - The key is --- safety
07:14 - The good news for autistic people regarding trauma
09:28 - Summary

CHANNEL LINKS:
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// WELCOME TO ASPERGERS FROM THE INSIDE!!

My name is Paul and I discovered I have Aspergers at age 30.

Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this blog, because if I didn't show you, you would never know.

As the name suggests, this channel is devoted to giving you insight into the world of Aspergers.
This blog started off being just my story, but I've learned SO MUCH about my own condition
from meeting others on the Autism Spectrum that now I make sure to feature their stories as well.

I've come a long way in my own personal journey.
Now I'm sharing what I've found so you don't have to learn it the hard way too.

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// WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG

You can expect me to get to the point with concise useful information.
I focus on what is most important and don't shy away from difficult topics.

The best way to learn about Autism is to see it in real life ( i.e. via the stories of many, many people on the spectrum).

In this channel I endeavour to show you what Autism and Aspergers look like in real people and to also give you some insight as to what's happening on the inside.
I upload a new video every weekend with some bonus content thrown in mid-week too.
There's always new stuff coming through so be sure to check back and see what you've missed. (Is this where I'm supposed to tell you to hit that subscribe button?)

Topics Include:
- What is Aspergers/Autism?
- Aspie Tips, coping strategies, and advice on common issues
- Learning Emotional Intelligence (this is my special interest!)
- Autism in real life: stories from special guests

Everything I do is and endeavour to go deeper and take you 'behind the scenes' to understand what may, at first glance, seem 'odd'.
oh, and I love busting stereotypes and turning preconceptions upsidedown :)

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// ABOUT ME

I discovered I have aspergers at the age of thirty.
It has been my life's mission to understand these funny creatures we call humans.
My special interest is a combination of emotional intelligence, psychology, neuroscience, thinking styles, behaviour, and motivation. (I.e. what makes people tick)
My background is in engineering and I see the world in systems to be analysed.
My passion is for taking the incredibly complex, deciphering the pattern, and explaining it very simply.
My philosophy is that blogging is an adventure best shared.

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// EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TRAINING

I also run autism friendly online emotional intelligence training. So if you like my direct, systematic style, and would like to improve your own emotional intelligence skills, check it out here:

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// CONTACT

Blogging is an adventure best shared which means I'd love to hear from you!
Feel free to leave me a comment or send me and email at any time and I'll do my best to respond promptly.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this channel!
I look forward to hearing from you!

Peace,

~Paul

[MammaApa]

I saw some tweet or something where someone had put it into words pretty well, can't find it now so I'm paraphrasing: The reason why it is so hard to distinguish autistic traits from trauma is that society produces no none-traumatised autistic people.

[Dancestar]

It’s not just trauma. We are traumatised by how society treats us but we are definitely wired differently

[shockofthenew]

I'm Autistic and also have C-PTSD. They are very much overlapped and intertwined, but still ultimately separate. Autism has been part of me since I was born, trauma has been acquired over the years. Once upon a time I was a very happy Autistic child who was full of joy, energy and potential (especially since it turns out pretty much my whole family is undiagnosed Autistic and could naturally understand me)! My main troubles began as soon as I had to interact with the outside world... one of my earliest traumatic memories is from age 2, sitting in a group of other kids for the first time and feeling the dawning horror of intense alienation as I observed their expressions and interactions. Things continued the same way from there. I constantly tried to show up as my authentic self, and I was constantly made aware that no one could understand or accept that reality. I created a mask in order to survive, and as I got older I would experiment with pulling the mask away in different situations. Every time I did, it became very clear that people liked and understood 'me' with the mask on, but found me bizarre and incomprehensible with the mask off.

Alongside the social trauma came daily sensory overload, sympathetic overload, cognitive differences and horror at the various dehumanising and incompetent 'systems' I was forced to participate in. My trauma gradually grew, being repeated and reinforced every day, yet being invisible from the outside. By mid-teens I was nearly 'out of my mind' with stress, experiencing profound agitated depression every day, very distorted thinking, suicidal ideation, secretly self-harming and abusing alcohol, almost constantly dissociated, completely withdrawn, often unable to speak, having periods of near-catatonic shutdown where I stayed still in bed for days or weeks. At 16 I dropped out of school, finishing education online, and point-blank refused to see my friends ever again. Doctors were no help, constantly minimising and dismissing my experiences, and despite my parents asking for help over and over, none was ever available (I'm in the UK). I didn't fit any kind of 'model' and because I was self-contained, articulate, got good grades (this was easy), didn't cause trouble at school and didn't attempt to kill myself the system was happy to let me fall through the cracks.

In fact I only became aware I might be Autistic in my early 30s after years in therapy, partly because as I processed trauma and my mental state improved, my ability to manage the 'simple' activities of daily life remained static (confusing my therapist). Partly because, as I was gradually able to be less dissociated and more in touch with bodily sensations, the weight of my sensory trauma began to become apparent, and partly because nothing else could explain how I had been so profoundly traumatised by 'normal' everyday life, or why I had always felt so incredibly different from other people to the point where that intense mis-match of perspective, the endless feeling of never being accurately 'seen' or 'heard' or having any truly reciprocal social connection since early childhood became a significant traumatic factor.

I'm still struggling hugely after having seen multiple therapists over 10+ years of adult life, and engaging with therapy very enthusiastically! I don't lack competence or motivation, yet I'm completely unable to work, maintain a healthy lifestyle, or form long-lasting social connections. Every time I try to sustain any of these things I end up in complete collapse with severe symptoms. Since realising Autism is part of the picture and finally getting diagnosed, I'm now trying to find an Autistic therapist who specialises in Complex Trauma, but with limited resources that's extremely difficult... it's a very very long and exhausting journey trying to get appropriate help, and there is no system of support.

I find a lot of conventional advice for C-PTSD doesn't necessarily apply for Autistic people. For example 'grounding' exercises which involve mindfulness, focus on breathing or focus on bodily sensations can be extremely triggering and unworkable for me (leading to 'expert' therapists becoming confused and frustrated). There's also a focus on group therapy, relational healing, and 'group coherence' activities such as singing, clapping, dancing... which is also incredibly triggering for me, as it ends up reinforcing the 'mis-match' in perspective, communication and emotional affect which caused a lot of my trauma in the first place. There is also a big focus on the idea "fix your lifestyle first and healing will follow" where patients are expected to be able to engage with regular exercise, healthy eating plans, yoga, meditation, social activities etc. and 'resistance' against this – e.g. failure to improve as a result, or (in my case) finding these things massively increase stress and being unable to engage with them in the first place, or even getting worse when trying to keep up – is pathologised and seen as an unwillingness to engage with therapy or "putting up blocks" against healing.

On the other hand I tried seeing a therapist who specialises in Autism, but they really did not seem to have a deep understanding of C-PTSD (despite claiming to), often not seeming to fully understand what I meant when I described symptoms, trying instead to convince me that everything could be 'explained away' in terms of Autism alone – for example trying to convince me that traumatic flashbacks and severe dissociation were "just Autistic meltdowns." I think it's really, really important that more therapists train with a dual specialism in Autism and C-PTSD since there is such a notable crossover between the two. There's a great need for models and expertise from both fields to be combined, and especially to incorporate the experiences and wisdom of people who are diagnosed with both, as we can give vital insight into the complexities of this 'grey area' which simply cannot be gleaned through external observation.

[isabellefaguy]

I second "The body keeps the score", as an autistic woman who also has PTSD and CPTSD, from several different causes, including living in the NT world as an autistic person, but a lot of other stuff too, this book has been much more helpful than any professionnals (psychologues) I had the opportunity to see.

[romywilliamson]

When I went through quite a traumatic time then 'acting normal' became too difficult and I was suddenly acting a lot more autistic than before. (I only got diagnosed after this.) I think it is because the things that get called 'autistic behaviour' are mostly just the ways that autistic people cope with stress and anxiety. So when stress and anxiety are increased a lot then it becomes too hard to suppress autistic behaviour.

[Leena]

I'm autistic, and some of my autistic traits have led me in to situations which have caused me trauma. I have had the priviledge to get therapy, which has helped me overcome some of the trauma, and at that point it became clear that the underlying autism was something I needed to learn to live with. I was diagnosed at 41, after being treated for anxiety issues for two decades.

[jellewils]

I'm currently working for a company that has 80% autistic employees. Most of my social trauma comes from the workplace. There I can work on social skills, teamwork and self development as an employee in my own way (which has become scary due to trauma) in a safe space. To me, it's like work And therapy wrapped into one. And most of my coworkers are going through the same process right now so I'm no longer alone. Being a dad is definitely helping too, since my sensitivity as well as my determination have proven quite valuable for being a loving parent that provides clear and consistent rules and care. I find that consistency is very important for my son's feeling of safety (he's 3 years old), even consistency about stuff he dislikes (bedtime, brushing teeth). And I really do understand his sensitivity and intense emotions on a personal level, so I tell him that I struggle with that too as well as how to cope (decompress, minimalize sensory input by letting him lay down or play in a dark room). It's also forcing me to get better at emotional self-regulation, especially around anger and self pity. It's not easy, but it's all for love and that to me is the best reason ever to work on myself.

[AledosStoicBarber]

I am %100 disabled vet with PTSD and my 4 year son was diagnosed with Autism in April and I see how they are very similar in the way we both act outwards. Thank you for your video. 🤙

[cosslogan]

Even into adulthood I still experience bullying, it's just now Workplace bullying and often goes overlooked as most people quit instead of speaking up, not to mention HR being unhelpful for those who do speak up.

[kezore]

I am actually doing a trauma therapy at the moment (2 years after my ASD diagnosis) and it's almost impossible to disentangle whether it's autism AND complex PTSD or "just" complex PTSD after all. There are many people in my family who, to me, seem to be on the spectrum, but then again childhood trauma has been intergenerationally passed down. It is such an interesting question that I do not have an answer to yet. Was so happy to see your video on this, it really made me feel seen, I haven't heard anyone else talk about it yet :)

[caramadra]

The medical community needs to advise parents to be assessed when their child is diagnosed with autsim. I know I'm autistic, my parent is autistic and so is my child. It's much harder for females especially adults to be diagnosed. We are dismissed because we mask a lot more. Tired of NTs pretending to be pro-autistics but angry when we are ourselves, direct.

[AdrianLoganLive]

The similarity around the need to feel safe is such an insightful point. Safety isn't just about physical safety, but existential and social safety. You've made a lot of profound points. Thank you :)

[sugoiharris]

Trauma and autism have a lot of crossover symptoms. They are also not mutually exclusive. I have autism but no trauma, aside from being autistic in an allistic world. My husband has trauma, but a lot of his symptoms are very similar to mine. We work with kids with trauma and/or autism and there is a difference between symptoms caused by trauma only and those caused by autism and trauma, but generally the same techniques help in both autism and trauma.

Also, that book is excellent!

[houseofwolfandlamb]

As an autistic person who also has trauma, this was very helpful. I'm currently reading The Body Keeps the Score, but have not yet reached the part about developmental trauma. I am also currently in trauma therapy and we frequently discuss whether "it's trauma, the autism, or the adhd" or if it's all of the above (probably the most likely culprit in many cases). I have mostly come to accept that there's only so much untangling we can do (having not known about the 'tism, the adhd, or the trauma growing up and not really finding out until I was in my 40s or close) and that we are just working on healing what can be healed and then doing our best with the rest of it as far as coping mechanisms, tools, and requested accommodations. I'm thrilled that the field is learning more and more about all of this and I toggle back and forth between wishing I had known and being glad I didn't. I see how that could have gone two very different ways. But lastly: I did a massive laugh out loud at the reminder to not share the traumas here or anywhere else public/inappropriate. Over Sharers Unite!! Or rather . . .Over Sharers Please DO NOT Unite Here As It Is Not An Appropriate Place To Do So!!! Thank you for this video.

[Paulsmuse]

Bullying causes trauma and when one is on the spectrum, we tend to get bullied/ rejected 😫

[catherinecummins]

Learning about CPTSD and autism has helped me find my tribe. Endlessly looking to professionals to help me sort my inner life was pointless, but I have learned so much on the channel. Thank you.

[AurorasWindow]

I’m realizing that my autism has made most of my life experiences to be traumatic. I’m learning that I’m inherently broken by childhood trauma, but such trauma has been exacerbated by my hyper sensitive nervous system. I don’t know if I’m making any sense, but basically I feel like my autism and trauma are intertwined, and seem like one at times 😫

[blueheart]

This is crazy. I was literally thinking this yesterday. The more and more self-assured I get, the more I think that I don't have autism after all. I have experienced a massive childhood trauma due to parental abuse and got diagnosed with autism. The reason I'm leaning more to PTSD is because of the self damaging aspect that I had. I'm definitely gonna see a psychiatrist with this question now

[ratslaydownflat]

When you said the book was heavy, my first reaction was "well how heavy could it be? Would I not be able to carry it?" 😂

[vazzaroth]

SO happy you covered this! I myself have to keep reminding me of this as I'm learning about my own mental state and I think this connection, overlap, or otherwise 'grey area-ness' of this topic are not covered very often!

Edit: Having watched this, I am pleased to see that I am, likely, on the right track then with my understanding. One thing I notice is that trauma and what 'counts' as traumatic for your body is pretty variable. And there's at least one theory that neurodivergent or otherwise 'unexpected' brains in this society-based world are especially vulnerable to having trauma happen to them, both by perpetrators and by their own mind's evaluation, whereas the same thing happening to an NT child or w/e likely would not. Possibly from social protection and sometimes just because of a difference in cognition. (And some NTs still would, because variability!)

I was diagnosed ADHD at 30 and I basically self-diagnosed before hand after tons of research and comparing myself to ADHD communities. I'm at the same point with Autism, and fully cannot BELIEVE how much I relate, specifically, to ADHD+ASD folks. (Purple Ella just made an amazing video about this!) It's proving to be harder to get a diagnoses or even seen about this, compared to ADHD, in the US because it's not 'big pharma approved' per se, and I live in a place with particularly poor medical care availability and basically zero specialists. And also a minimum of 5 hours away from any other large, or even medium, cities.

My #1 question I've had in life that was unanswered for SO long was this: Why was I simply NEVER interested in bonding? From there, my journey to do the same as I did w/ ADHD kicked in (Hooray hyperfocus and shifting my intense attention to this?) and I scoured the web for stories, papers, books, etc. I am relatively confident that the foundational answers to the foundational questions that still remained was autism.

This was a huge relief once I finally allowed myself to 'tentatively' self diagnose. I kind of assumed I had Avoidant Personality Disorder (and maybe did/do, or at least attachment style). But my issues began earlier than that is supposed to form. Not due to trauma, but due to my nature, I strongly do believe. I had thought maybe my parents as abusive, terrible, or otherwise traumatic in ways I was blind to before. And in some ways, they could be. Almost all parents are at some point.
But I finally have come to an understanding that my specific challenges, while more could have been done to help me as a relatively helpless child, were REALLY about how MY SPECIFIC BRAIN interfaced with the reality that was available back then. Getting yelled at is and can be traumatizing, but I was being scolded for misunderstood executive function issues. I was told to 'just' ask for help, yet felt extreme hesitation and uncertainty with how to even go about such a thing and I wouldn't verbalize it b/c I knew people were 'supposed to' be able to do that already. It turns out that my instructions to buckle down and try harder, as much as I thought I could do so, would basically never happen while my focus was not able to be applied the same way as my peers.
So I would try try try and fail fail fail. After years of this and with no other explanation, I can now understand why I was treated the way I was. It honestly makes sense, and I don't think my parents are some bad demons or anything. When I, objectively, analyze what they were seeing, I might even do the same with the knowledge they had! (Or didn't have!) They have grown as people even as I have grown, and they were, like all of us, just doing their best. (And by most NT standards, I was actually sheltered, lol)


I'm about 50% sure I have various, suspected neurodivergence on both sides of my family. A grandpa that was obsessed with building engines and my dad (his son) that has basically said before "I never think about how other people feel", as well as having a ton of ADHD red flags. My grandmother on my mom's side was well known (and made fun of...) for being hyper sensitive to sounds, smells and all that. I've always related to her in that way and felt bad people mocked it behind the scenes. And my own mother, after going down a path of trying to understand schizoid, depression, or other social issues, I finally realized, had a lot of the same behaviors I do now as an adult: Generally in her own world, often 'spacing' out or thinking, and other similar ASD traits. IDK if anyone would be diagnosed in my family, much like myself, but once I knew what to look for, I could see 'evidence' of what I suspected about myself almost everywhere. And I have to imagine there's TONS of people out there asking questions about themselves and overlooking the types of things I did as well. All the males in my family even have the 'big head' morph that research has recently associated with autism!

I know I would be on the aspie-end, and sometimes wonder if I had to go into overdrive to try to blend in since I also grew up in a rural area where help for this kind of thing, in the 90's, was a literal joke I heard many times. But when I go as far back as I can, via stories and memory, I always relate to the autistic experience. I was very 'independent' as child, and rarely cried or sought help. (I've heard about how 'easy' of a kid I was many, many times) I felt like I had to study other people well into my teens to try to understand how to act, and did indeed always, always ALWAYS feel like an act. During group events, I stuck to the wall. I was called shy, quiet, etc. But it was always more than that to me. I had seen the shy and quiet kids who were not like me. They seemed to be scared, but I was deeply, deeply confused. I now realize, after pulling up old memories, that I was TRYING to form a script but just simply couldn't because A) Physical activity (Dancing, moving between groups, etc) was a part of it and B) There were too many variables and confusing messes going on to enter. I had no idea what, how, or when to do anything related to those kinds of school events. Not even a hint on how to start yet was told "just do it" and simply found that I couldn't. I had no way to verbalize this as a kid besides "I don't wanna".

Humans have been baffling me for 30 years. In the last few, I've REALLY gotten into psychology and I strongly feel like this helped me in life more than anything else. I now have working models for human behavior and do indeed feel like I'm starting to understand other people and myself. Not too unlike Paul here with EQ learning. It's almost cognitive empathy and systems thinking, I am coming to realize!

The TLDR is that this is a great video, and I hope that not only is this spoken about more, but I look forward to one day reading a book about this similar to 'your body keeps the score', at a time when we have a better understanding of what autism and other divergence even IS. And I know that somewhere, some little kid will be like me, and find that book or YT video or article and not have to go 30+ years thinking they were broken, wrong, or just fundamentally beyond help or understanding. Think about how many 50-60+ year olds are getting diagnosed these days and saying the same things about people in MY age group! We're making progress!

I am not bitter that it took so long, I'm joyous that I was one of the humans who went on the journey so that I can relay the importance of understanding, at least in this little corner of reality and history.