The Best Darwin Awards (New for 2023)

Laugh, cringe, and marvel at the Darwin Awards - celebrating humanity's most outrageous misjudgments! From hilarious close calls to jaw-dropping true tales, witness the epitome of 'survival of the fittest' gone wrong!

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[ianmitchell]

Imagine being outside of Simon's office but only being able to hear the things he shouts entirely out of context. "I'M THIRSTY FOR BLOOD, DAVE!"

[madderRed]

Any sentence that starts with "poacher killed" puts a smile on my face

[danicalifornia]

For the next April fools, can we please get a reversal Brain Blaze with Simon as the writer and Danny as the voice host?

[kreiner]

Drunk history is not only more accurate but much better to watch than anything on "the history channel" in my opinion

[crabwalk]

"I don't want to come across as unsympathetic, but I am and I lack the necessary writing talent to disguise it." 😁 Oh Dave, after hearing many of your scripts, I doubt it has anything to do with writing talent....

[ericdreblow]

That clip of Rafiki yeeting Simba off the cliff at like 1:00 or something had me dying. Well done Sam.

[jgreenberg]

I don't have 10 000 hours but I am a commercial pilot and flight instructor. My expert opinion is that flying with fucking fuel in the cabin invariably leads to a terminal case of Flaming Hole In The Ground Syndrome.

PS there generally speaking tends to be a fuel leak procedure in the POH/QRH of most aircraft. All of them begin with 'land immediately'. It is heavily implied that taking off again prior to fixing the issue is inadvisable.

[Rekuzan]

There was the kid who lit an M-80 in his room, panicked, and sat on it, right before blowing his own you-know-whats off. He survived, but effectively DID remove himself from the gene pool! So yes, Darwin award winner whom is still alive to be able to collect it.

[unclejoe]

I love the statement about the dangers of entering Krueger National Park illegally or on foot. So matter of fact, with no exaggeration. Refreshing.

[Erin-Thor]

I love the old ones, like the guy driving home from the bar had his headlights go out, again. Knowing it was the fuse again, he didn’t have a spare, and his quick thinking he thought of his .22 LR shells would work. He inserted one, lights worked, and was driving happily home when it overheated, and discharged into his last remaining nut. Genius! 😊

[GreatSageSunWukong]

My brothers friend decided to saw a plank of wood in half on his leg, what made it worse is that he has always fainted at the sight of blood, thankfully he was found and taken to hospital before he bled out.

[diyeana]

Ah, it's good of Simon to demonstrate how much of an expert he is at the end there. "Nailed it." 😂🤣

[hitchedtohorsepower]

Montana's old speed limit was "Reasonable and Prudent". Most people understood this as about 90 to 100 mph in good weather. What happened was a lawyer got a ticket for well over 100 and fought it saying that there was too much room for interpretation. The judge agreed so now the speed limit is 80 mph on most interstates in MT.

[ThatOddChickenHippie]

The number of times my dad should have gotten a Dawin Award over his lifetime is crazy. From about the time he was able to walk until around 40, this man was on a first name basis with the staff in every hospital emergency unit and most of the urgent care clinics in the state of Utah, especially the ones closest to his house. It was always "hey, Nancy. Hey, Jerry. What happened this time?"

[AmericanBaker]

I didn't personally know him, but there was a student at my university who is deserving of a darwin award, in my opinion. While drunk at 2am, he and some friends decided to go through a utility tunnel under some buildings that students aren't supposed to have access to. While down there, one of the young men picked up a live wire asking "what's this?" And electricuted himself.

[terrafirma]

"Greatest accidental treasures" would be a solid video. I recall a story about a dude who found a large golden nugget on a beach, which in his country was not taken from him.

[keitolainen]

Simon, if you can't think of anyone in your group of friends that will get a darwin award, it's you.

[davidm]

Simon has read so many terrible things. So absolutely jaded now and I love it

[astralshore]

Regarding Dave's stolen laptop: I was recently told by a nurse friend that patients' laptops are regularly stolen on the oncology ward of all places. Some people are just the scum of the earth.

[BaronVonQuiply]

04:02 _"Because bullets are also metal. And they're fired out of a big metal thing with explosives."_

Simon, you'll be happy to know that the explosives also contain metal.