What They Don't Tell You About Getting Older...

The standard wisdom is that age encompasses simply getting older and not looking good anymore but it actually is far worse than that...

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[fezbork]

99% of my friendships have been context-dependent, as in they were genuinely my friend, but we only saw each other in one setting, be it school, work, fitness class, our parents getting together. Though we seemed to enjoy each other's company, we never sought to intentionally spend time together outside these context, except for doing something on our own afterwards on occasion, like going for a walk or sharing a meal. When the situations in which we would encounter each other ceased to exist, in most cases I never saw them again.

[easter_sunday]

I'm 52. Yes, getting old sucks. At the same time, I possess skillsets, knowledge, and wisdom that I did not have earlier in life. What used to hurt me now makes me laugh. But hey, no age is perfect. My life isn't any better or worse than anyone else's because every age has its trials, and tribulations. I know that this isn't a religious page, but King Solomon wrote a Book in his old age called "Ecclesiastes". It's a reminder that no matter what you think you're about, or what you're doing, or what you hope to accomplish? It's all vanity. No one will remember it. So please don't take yourself, or life too seriously.

After all, isn't life laughing at you, and at your expense?

[ellenroehl]

"Everyone dies alone, unless you're in a plane crash." Sandman

[SpykerSpeed]

Making friends is really about repeating and persistent interaction. Most people are lazy and socially avoidant. So you have to take the reigns and instigate meetups, even if you don't really *feel* like it. It's like going to the gym.

[trenfren]

Another thing is friendships get destroyed because of factors like politics, relationships, envy etc. I've seen it happening many times

[brianmarshall]

With 7 decades and the end of the story is fast approaching. I can confirm that all of this is very true. It is my reality. No friends or family left now. .. Luckily, I have always been a bit of an introvert and so it doesn't bother me as much as some I have spoken to - but like they say - "old age is not for sissies"...

[TrangleC]

What annoys me the most about ageing is how the doctors just get totally indifferent about any problem you might have and especially when you're alone.
Louis CK has this bit about how he went to the doctor with pain in his knee and the doctor just said: "You're 40 now and have a shitty knee." End of story, basically.
When you are 30 and have a problem with your knee, they still give you options and have ideas what can be done and so on, once you cross the 40 line, you just have to live with a shitty knee now till you're dead.

I found that with every kind of problem I had since I turned 40. Shitty knees, shitty ears, shitty eyes, shitty bowels and all I get from the doctor is a shrug.

I think the old times when you had old dudes who just milked the health care systems and spent all their time between hospitals getting new hips and hearing aids and whatnot and then hanging around in some sort of physical rehab sanatorium half the year and all that shit was due to their wives dragging them to the doctors and being the squeaky wheel for them.

As a single dude you're just left to rot.

[OnderHassan]

The older I get (currently 38) the more I realise that nothing really matters besides how I live my life. I can't control what happens to me, only the actions I take. That realisation helped me break free and to be truly liberated from outside influences.

[chasing_dragons]

At 48, I confirm all of this is 100% true. Just maintaining a work schedule, commute, sleeping/eating properly, exercise routine is a full time war. Energy, physical and mental to interact with old established friends and try with new people has tapered off bad. The universe in some odd way constricts you to do less as time goes on.

[lorddeathspit]

I’m 44 and the years have certainly flown by. I have a some friends but I don’t feel like drinking beer or golfing so I just work and spend a lot of time alone. I’m not happy nor unhappy I simply exist.

[aninterestinglife.]

Wives have a way of ending a mans close friendships. Then leaving. Thank you.

[MauriceLeviejr]

I’m going to counter your video by stating that this WAS the case in 1990 when marriage rates were still above 85%. That is completely flipped now, especially with a high divorce rate that makes relationships into relationshits. I astutely watch for wedding rings at grocery store checkout counters and see fewer and fewer - there are simply vastly more unmarried women now in my mid-50s than in my mid-20s, 30s, and early 40s. The world is completely focused now on the individual not the group.

For introverts this is the best time to be alive.

[Timdeuces]

The first experience of getting old is realizing that the things you like, or that you remember when they were new, are now considered "classic" or "retro."

[USSResolute]

There are three kinds of "friends". Friends for advantage, where they are there because it's in their interest to gain. Friends for shared interests, where they are there because you both enjoy the same entertainment or pasttimes. Friends for shared virtue, where you are friends because you share morals and principles. The first kind are the most common and the last are the most satisfying. Most people come into your life only for a season. Often that season is shorter than we like.

[Tom_Quixote]

I think it's also a matter of the internet being a replacement for social life for many people. It's very easy to feel you have "company" when browsing the web, reading and writing comments, chatting, etc.

[malignantbydesign]

At least we can all meet up in the stardusk comment section.

[digitally_ascended_conscio]

I was forced into the hermit-pill, as a young teenager instead of social circlemaxxxing, my folks decided to divorce, and I was changing cities and schools every year because of that. Always the new outsider. It never began.

[Oldhogleg]

It all depends on your personality type. Projecting one self onto others will typically give you a flawed perspective.

When I was very younger I used to think people (adults) had normal intelligence, emotionally maturity, and moraley developed. And if they weren't at that point, they were striving to get there.

But now many decades later I've realized humanity by and large is mentally insane; that is neurotic, in a perpetual state of arrested emotional development and suspended adulescents, making them not only self destructive, but a danger to those around them in varying degrees.

I've inadvertently ended up basically keeping people socially at a safe distance. I'm friendly, helpful, socialize, and play well with others, but I don't get chummy with them. This philosophy has enabled me to dodge many bullets in life.

[Don-Coyote-De-Transylvania]

Kings or slaves, everyone of us die alone.

[ronaldmcdonald]

I unfriended a woman I've known for a *long* time when we worked at a national park in the summers between college.
She disparaged/shaming language against her husband, even though he enabled her to be a stay at home mom.
She had no clue how important her husband was as a cog in corporate America; he didn't and the work he does does not deserve to be disparaged
At one of the rare times we met in person.
Then she tried to embarrass me in our online former park employee group.
So I saw her in a different light; not the cute college girl of long ago
But an ignorant, unappreciative woman who was still a little girl
Why would I want to maintain a relationship with somebody like this?
We've outgrown each other.
So I cut her loose.
She tried contacting, but I ignored.
I also remembered how her former roommate would not talk to her anymore.
And her attempts to embarrass me were standard attempt to get a drama in her life (I guess that what women see as fun and interesting)
While us guys talk about old hiking, backpacking, fishing trips, and state of the park
Robin Williams said: "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.