To the men who suffer with PTSD

[HayesJC]

And sometimes we just need a hug, no words, just be there.

[gregorymaupin]

As a veteran who suffers from this I am so grateful to my wife who saved my life. At my lowest point she realized exactly what you are saying and she helped me reach out for help. Honestly I would be dead if it wasn’t for her love for me. I now have a richer life and my children now see me again as their loving father. I still have problems, but I know what to do and who I can reach out to.

[terrelljustis]

My brother and I grew up with a father with undiagnosed, untreated PTSD from World War II. They called it "shell shock". He used the G.I. Bill to become a child psychiatrist… I think he knew but he never got over his hot temper which would flare unexpectedly. We children walked around in fear. I worked through it. My father did his best and I love him still, 20 years after his death. My brother has a therapist who tells my brother he has PTSD from my father. I'm not sure about that. I no longer speak with my brother who never stopped punishing me for having a different memory and for forgiving and never learned to manage his temper. War is Hell..

[jasonkvinlaug]

I needed this fuuuck I needed this.I wish I heard it closer to when it all happened but I heard it that's what matters. Thank you for what you do

[tbjoyrider]

As someone who suffers from PTSD, I'll say you're spot on. Especially, and I can't address this enough, the part where you say "learn what triggers them, and avoid these situations".
And if you can't avoid these situations, at least don't make it worse.

I always check my surroundings when I'm out in public, and I use a lot of energy to anticipate any potential threat (imaginary or real, it doesn't matter). Once when my ex-wife and I went on vacation, the trip started with a luggage problem in the airport we were departing from. I was already stressed from the prospect of being locked inside a sardine can with wings, together with 100's of other people. This problem didn't help on my stress level. Then we came to our destination, and the car rental company had misplaced our booking, so I had to deal with that. By that time my stress level was through the roof.

It was in the middle of all this my wife decided she was tired of waiting, and decided to scold me for not being able to fix this inside a 5 minute window. I was about to snap. We finally got the keys to a car, but we had to walk 250 metres to pick it up. I offered to go for the car and to come back to pick her up, but she didn't want to wait any longer. Then came the final drop. I carried all I could, at the same time as I was looking for the car, when she started to complaint that she had to drag one of her suitcases herself. That's when I snapped and bit her off in the same tone she was giving me.

The end of the story is that I slept for the first 24 hours of our vacation, but she was mad for 3 weeks. None of the things I did to make it a good vacation mattered to her. And when we finally spoke about it, she couldn't even acknowledge her part of the blame for my ONE mishap.

That trip was the beginning of the end of our marriage. I would've given her the world if she just could've shown some patience with me, over an illness I didn't choose to have.

[dtc]

Thank you. Finally somebody who understands what it takes to deal with it. After more than 3 decades of hearing people say stupid shit like "be a man! deal with it." or "its all in your head". If I could take what's "in my head" and give it to other people for a couple months, that would change their outlooks.

[steamhard]

It’s been 14 years n it was like yesterday.
Thank you for putting this out. Thank you.

[danward]

Paramedic for 20 years. Your words are true.
.
We don't want to relive it, we just want support to get through it.

[dee_dee_place]

Absolutely!
Open communication is the best way to support your family, friends, & SO.
People with PTSD 'do' need to know they can share their triggers without negative responses. They need to have their emotions & thoughts validated... just because I don't have the same emotions & thoughts doesn't mean that someone else can't or shouldn't.
People with PTSD, please share with us what makes you triggered (so it can be avoided) & what makes you feel safe (so it can be instituted).
Godspeed to all with PTSD, especially those who have served in the Military because you still aren't receiving the support you deserve.

[jameslewandoski]

DAMN, this truly touched a nerve for me! Now I'm at the laundromat crying. BUT I'm honestly alright with my solitude, because any relationship I've been in after my marriage imploded, I know that I'm quick to end it. When there's the slightest sign reoccurance of her traits, because i can't deal with that pain EVER AGAIN!!

[thinman]

My Dad was a highly decorated combat veteran. When he came home he had PTSD. Thank you, Sarah Dawn, for talking about this.

[norpfuseman]

Trauma and mental health counsellor here. Sarah is spot on almost as if she’s been trained to do this work. Thanks 🙏

[jmoonshine]

My ex doesn't believe that a man can have ptsd from an extremely horrible ex

[jorgemarrero]

Your a wonderful kind hearted person and I thank you, keep up the good work.

[chrisgramza]

A sit in a common silence is sometimes more valued than a thousand words. At least by me...

Semper Fi

[jeremysteel]

You’re 100% right most women will never understand but that’s OK. We don’t want them to understand we don’t want them to hurt like we do. We just want you to be happy, That will make the clouds part and let the sun shine through on us

[DAWGnROADIE]

The only way I got past it was by ending the loop.
When I would realize that the the thoughts -the loop was playing, I would say “let it go, let it go, let it go.” Then do something else. It only took a couple of weeks before I realized the loop had stopped.
The experiences of my life are just that, experiences- not my life. Holding on to past experiences as if they are the present prevented me from experiencing the next thing. I was stuck in a loop.

I heard it put in this way: Our past experiences are like snow globes on a shelf. We can look at them, we can take them down and shake them up, but we can’t carry them around trying to live in them. They are just experienced. The only reality is this very moment.

[Detour-]

I developed PTSD through the hands of my parents growing up. I did get professional help in my late 20s but still struggled into my 40s until I married my second wife who did not trigger my illness but diffused them with love, compassion and care

[dreamwolf]

As a man who not only has PTSD from childhood sexual abuse (committed by women, making it even harder to get help) but went on to become a psychiatric NP so i could help others like me.

Thank you. This is the message we need to be sending.

[rellimet]

Finally. A woman who speaks the truth about this. As a retired military man, I have seen many of my ship mates suffer from this and as a result they were divorced. The women couldn't cope with their mate who was suffering.