Obedience and Submission Are The Language of Spiritual Abuse

#spiritualabuse #submittingtochurchleadership #abusivepastor #obeyinggod #churchhurt
What does spiritual abuse look like? It takes many forms but it is often characterized by spiritual leaders demanding obedience and submission to their authority. As a result, a person comes under their control, losing their sense of worth and identity as well as being distanced from God. Meanwhile, the leader's ego is fed as he/she takes on more control over people's lives.

Spiritual leaders were never meant to direct people but rather serve them. This is the model of Jesus. Don't let abusive leaders rob you of a relationship with God.

Be sure to check out my spiritual abuse playlist to learn more, including these titles:
- Confronting Pastors
- How to Recover From Spiritual Abuse
- Should a Wife Submit to Her Husband

[DarthRirou]

Finally more people talking about this. I started to share my story about spiritual abuse back in 2018. Since then I have been banned, canceled, called schizophrenic, blasphemous etc etc. I was depressed for 33 years until in 2020 I finally figured it out the root cause of my trauma and started to heal. Thank you for this video.

[AZITHEMLGPRO]

“If You don’t pay your money/tithes to me, well you’re robbing God. But it’s totally a personal relationship with God” ……

[douglaspendergraft]

As a result, when I hear soneone say, "I'm a pastor", I can't run away quick enough. Going to a "church" service makes me nauseated. I will admit that I haven't been the perfect congregant, but at the same time, my voice has been silenced or dismissed year after year when raising serious concerns about abusive treatment within the "church". I walked away from several churches in total frustration and am not sure that I have the strength to try again. At least God's presence never left and He brought me to a place of peace and rest, even though it has also been somewhat a place of isolation. If a 'pastor' fails to shepherd, train and strengthen a child of God for the purposes of God's kingdom, then God Himself will stand in and take the role. It really shouldn't come to this, unfortunately, but God is ALWAYS FAITHFUL.

God help and save us all is my prayer.

[encouragingword]

Obedience of women to their husband “in everything” also needs A LOT of clarification. This has been used as a club to keep women in absolutely horrendous situations. Women who have never suffered in this way don’t understand it and often counsel women who are experiencing this to “just hang in there.” And pastors counsel is almost always the same! All this while women and kids are abused and treated shamefully by men believed to be stalwart Christians who just put on a good act. As one who has suffered through this for over 7 yrs l am an advocate for speaking up and getting out! If l had it to do over again, l would have left after my daughter was born instead of praying, submitting and “hanging in there” for years. It just about finished me off physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

If men are to lead then it must be done with love and by taking responsibility for their own controlling attitudes. Otherwise, their ungodly ways breed shame, resentment, anger and depression in their families. This is actually very commonplace but victims don’t speak up for obvious reasons, mostly fear and with good reason.

[nancybaumgartner]

Obedience and submission to God and God alone is what is necessary.

[blacksheep]

This is me. I am so broken by the church. I just wish someone would help. So much manipulation and false gospel. Was recently told if we don't start showing up and serving in the church we would be "punished" by being a "cast off" sheep. . .

I know that isn't the heart of Jesus. I cannot take any more of this abuse.

I am letting the Lord be my shepherd and I know He will keep my heart protected. ❤

[patriot]

I got saved in a pastor worshiping cult. The man was a communal narcissist, I forgive him for the spiritual abuse…but I never gave up on God.

If a pastor wants you to be/think/act like them, and twists scripture to justify their behaviour…and don’t use scripture to guide their actions, there IS a problem.

The bible didn’t call us to be like other Christians, they called us to be like CHRIST.

[mikayln]

Yes! "Honor" the pastor turns into idolatry and putting him above God Himself and mistreatment of those who bring up scripture or worse, leave the church. Ostracizing anyone who leaves calling them liars (from the pulpit) also occurs, even if family or close friends .

[Darren-snki]

Yes this is up my way not alone I was abused by this but narcissistic abuse too and religious trauma I suffer I was going too my family for years and years not only in a church but a family church and it’s all about control and manipulation and use religion it’s damaging I have C-PTSD and it’s almost like a cult I believe in Jesus but this abuse had traumatized me in many ways

[syebethel]

Fell victim to this when I approached the church after abandonment by my ex (we had 2 small children at the time). They wanted to bully my whole life, disguised as basic assistance/ welfare, but I'm not that personality. They then called my estranged family to basically "take over" what they couldn't accomplish. I recognized what was happening the whole time, and was so surprised that they kept trying. I eventually got from under both sources of "help" and am much better off.

[foff]

The very last straw was when the church was using legalism to divide me and my husband we almost divorced I ran away back to America I thought I was losing my mind the gaslighting was so bad . I cried out to God, went back home with family and my church family just a basic baptist no fluff or puff church helped me health and pray for our marriage it took 7 months and lots of patience, long-suffering and kindness and love to help me heal and my hubby is still trying to heal too :( I'm 58 this is hard on you as you get older Dr :(

[lucybrowne]

When I was in a Pentecostal church in Scotland I was told by the Pastor that it would be unwise of me to go against him because when others had done this they had died. Sadly this minister is now the pastor of a large Pentecostal in England.

[rrickarr]

I have worked in churches for 25 years (organist). The amount of pastors who scream and yell that the Bible gives pastor absolute authority over anything and

[imalexisroberts]

Thank you so much for this. This is spot on, and let’s me know I’m not the only one who went through this AND notice this going on in many places. I hope and pray God exposes this behavior in the church

[Maxandshe]

After reading so many tragic outcomes of church abuse, I would highly recommend Dr Diane Lingberg teaching on abusive power in the church. I found it so insightful and healing. May the Lord be our Great Shepherd in the midst of the lies and confusion.

[maxfaubusHiddenChurch]

Following Jesus will cause you to be the best version of yourself. I will use this. Thank you

[buck-intrends]

Thank you for this video. Like many others who are commenting, I too went through an abusive church situation. I had tried discussing a theological issue with the new pastor of Lamson Church and it didn’t go well. He broke the confidentiality bond by talking it up with the deacons. These private discussions let to my receiving and email from the pastor and the deacons telling me to either submit to their theological interpretations or leave. I left. The thing was that I wasn’t even a member of this church nor would I ever want to be one now. My story with them goes on and show more abuse - even after leaving - as well as the hypocrisy of the leadership of this small church. Happy to report that I am away from these folks and thriving at another local church. Thank you for your clear presentation, your examples and the use of the terms, Obedience and submission and how they are misused. Well done!

[liliancosgapa]

After I prayed in the morning, , God guided me here😊thank you so much, , ,

[CrysSterling.]

Dude!! Yesss. Ugh. I went through spiritual abuse not once but twice... Its sad that this is true but it is.. Thanks for sharing this.

[jennifercuddy]

If they discuss “ overcoming pride and ego” know they don’t want you to have opinions.