Finally Opening Up About Being Haras$ed by Another YouTuber

I want to sincerely thank everyone for watching this video and for listening to my story. You all have every right to form your own opinions and make your own assumptions about me and about what happened between Cari and me. But also, I hope that you can respect the fact that I have every right to share my own personal experience.

I sat down to film this video yesterday as just a basic "Get Ready With Me" video. That's why it's a bit all over the place. I didn't plan on getting into this topic but also didn't see the point in stopping myself from talking about it while explaining my reasoning for not being able to post consistently on YouTube for the last 3 years.

I chose to post this today and express my feelings to you in order to help myself move on from it, as I have been struggling with this over the last few years. I know that sharing this truth may upset some people, and I’m truly sorry for that. But I’m upset too. This is my real life and this is what happened. The truth hurts sometimes. If truthfully describing what happened comes off as trying to ruin someone’s image/character, that person only has their actions to blame.

I also wish that I could forget this experience and move on with my life as if nothing ever happened as Cari seems to have been able to do. But that’s just not how life works. Being able to forgive and being able to forget are two different things entirely. They don’t go hand in hand. Forgiving someone doesn’t erase what happened, nor does it erase those parts of you that are forever changed as an effect of that person’s actions.

To the people reading this who have also harassed others: I hope you know now that your words and actions are very much real whether you said them in person, or typed them behind the guise of an anonymous account. Your words and actions will stick with you and more importantly, your victim forever. It’s important to me to bring awareness to that fact.

And to the people who have also been a target of harassment: I hope you know now that it had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them.

It’s part of being human for us to form our own opinions, judge, and make assumptions about others. That’s part of life. But those opinions, judgments, and assumptions aren’t facts. No matter what you do, there are always going to be people who will misunderstand you and that’s okay. You know who you are, and that’s enough

EDIT**
literally crying right now reading these comments (literally in every sense of the word: snot and all) Just so blown away by the overwhelming amount of support I’ve gotten for sharing my story/feelings regarding the darkest time of my life. It’s been frustrating, to say the least, to witness a false narrative being painted by my abuser while feeling like my only choice was to sit back and watch my experience with that person be swept under the rug because of their large following and like-able online persona. I guess that’s why it feels like such a relief now to be able to speak up and take back some of that control that I’ve gone so long without

It's also extremely heartbreaking to hear how many of you have been victims of bullying/harassment at some point in your lives. And here’s what I have to say to the people who criticize victims of abuse who take years to build up enough courage to speak out against their abusers: Trauma isn’t something you can ever “get over” or forget. Unfortunately, it doesn’t magically “go away” with half-hearted apologies as it does for our abusers. We have to learn to accept it, live with it and heal from it. But for most people, that takes a very long time. If you still can’t understand that, then you should be grateful that you haven’t had to experience it for yourself.

Thank you for again being here and thank you for listening ❤️

My Accessory Shop

[rachelheheh]

Please read the full video description and watch the entire video before commenting. To all of you who have stuck with me through all of the ups and downs over the years: I appreciate you more than you will ever know. Thank you ❤️

[YOHOMEGIRL]

Girl, yes to you speaking your truth or should I say THE truth. She should count her lucky stars every day that she didn't try this on someone else because she could've faced serious legal and criminal consequences when looking at the extent of the damage that was done. It would have been the end of her potential career and then some. I still remember our conversation after everything had come to light, I know we were both hurting, although in different ways but the way you were handling the situation was on some other mature level that I don't even know if she truly deserved. But as long as you were good and were taking care of your mental health, that's number one- and now with you opening up to speak on it...you are in your every right. If there's anyone who doesn't think that- imma fight.

[Lena-skxh]

From talking about seeking validation on social media, to not getting closure, even to how parents can make mistakes.. This was actually so relatable and I really respect how consistent you are in still choosing to take the high road by not stooping to Cari's level while still allowing yourself to express how you feel (which is valid). It felt like listening to a friend. Thanks for opening up to us Rachel. *hugs*

[madison]

To anyone else who is frustrated that Cari is walking away from this with very few consequences: Rachel was right when she said that social media isn't "real" and it's not the full picture. I highly doubt that Cari's life is anywhere near as perfect as it looks on social media. Cari has to live with what she did for the rest of her life and whatever toxic mindset allowed her to cyberbully/stalk a stranger for almost a year (not as a teenager but as 26/27-year-old!) doesn't just go away after 3 years and some therapy. I hope that Cari has learned from this, but I unsubscribed from her channel.

And to Rachel, if you're reading this: you seem like such a kind and gentle soul and I'm so sorry you went through this. The way you speak about all you went through shows so much maturity and strength. I don't know you but I can't help but wish you all the happiness in the world <3

[corazones]

“Your apology needs to be as loud as your disrespect was” People are out here bullying others for YEARS, causing all this trauma, and then expect people to “let it go” with a one-time, halfhearted apology. Sorry, but no.

Love you, DearSeoul. We’re on this healing journey with you. ❤️

[Cheydiary]

I always felt she handled things in the the bare minimum way and tried to make it seem like she was deeply apologetic but never truly owned up to what she did. I didn’t know she was deleting comments and that makes me so sad that your narrative is being rewritten for you by strangers who believe a sanitized version of what happened. Never feel obligated to upload but we’re all in your corner with whenever and whatever you choose to do with you channel. ❤️❤️❤️

[Victoria-yopm]

I remember watching cari’s apology and reading how much support she got for...hurting someone else but apologizing anyways. As a long time viewer of you (and someone who was bullied in the past) the fact that the instigator can just get off and be forgiven so easily while people are coming for the victim of the entire situation really just hurts. I wish you the best moving forward and that this video was healing for you. 🥺🥺❤️

[franklinthewoman]

When you first started your channel years ago I LOVED your content so much and I had always felt sorry and wondered what happened. She is extremely lucky you never pressed charges and didn't expose her immediately. I'm so glad you finally feel comfortable enough to speak about it. Your experience is YOURS and it is up to you how you process it. Here for you girl 💖

[stephanief]

I just want to say how shocked and angry I am that Cari stalked you and has totally gotten away with it. The whole situation and how unjust it is makes me ill. I respect your wishes 100% but there should have been some legal action against her. She basically committed a crime against you and despite that you've been so calm and civil throughout. I can't stand the fact she tries to pass herself off as this beacon of positivity and kindness even though she made you fear for your safety and attacked your loved ones. 
I have literally watched you for ages and I even lived in Seoul for two years myself. I find your content so funny and relatable. You are legit the most real and down to earth Korea based Youtuber I've watched. Keep posting because you are thriving sis.

[ekm.]

One thing that still upsets me is how much Cari preaches about positivity and empowering others (typically women) and yet she stole a literal year of your life as a result of her har*ssment, cyber b*llying and cyber st*lking. Like, if this were a male youtuber that had done this we all know his channel would have been canceled... like, where’s that same energy when it’s another woman doing it??? Why was she so easily forgiven??

[Banshee]

I don't think it was because she assumed you were a bad person or anything. She did it because she was jealous, as simple as that. Jealous of you, your growth, your followers, your beauty and your success. And it's incredible how her fans refuse to see what she did.

[rosecardamom]

What happened to you was traumatic, it’s gonna take a lot to be able to move past that, if people don’t realise that then they’ve never experienced trauma. Be gentle with yourself 💖 Sending you tons of love!

[jazzyr]

What makes me so upset is how Cari just promotes the happy, positivity vibes but she didn’t want to open up about how she ruthlessly haras$ed and stalked and threatened someone just purely out of jealously and nothing Cari when she finally got outed she just made a small what was is 10 minute or so apology ON YOUTUBE. Not directly Btw blamed her mental health and moved on back to her regular happy sunshine BS. I was bullied when I was 12-15 and I’m 23 today and it still affects me people want us to forgive and forget but Ffff that people need to be help accountable especially for affecting someone so much that she ponders on what her life could of been like if she wasn’t so traumatized!?
Do better Cari.

[gabbiebobbs]

I was truly disappointed in Cari when I saw that video that I had to unsubscribe to her channel. I truly couldn’t support her after hearing “her side” and TO ME... just my opinion she glazed over a lot of things, and swept a lot under the rug. And didn’t seem genuinely apologetic.

You can’t just traumatize another person and not have any repercussions to their actions.

I’m sorry for what happened to you The Real Ones are still here! For you gurl!

[emmak]

She kept deleting my comments. It upsets me that fans can just excuse someones behaviour so easily. "She apologised get over it"but yet she goes on like normal nothing has effected her. I have had mean stuff said to me in the past and it stays with you forever whilst they move on.

[Lrbrz]

It makes me so sad and angry Cari moved on and her channel has grown while she harassed you and this impacted your channel and happiness.

[TheVocaLove]

I’m so glad you decided to share this, I remember asking you about this via Instagram and was extremely shocked and disgusted with cari as an avid watcher of you both. You deserve to tell your side especially when the girl only posted an apology cause she got called out

[asiram]

I found out about you through Cari's apology and of course I stopped following her and started following you. We are the same age and I feel like I'm listening to a friend. I really admire your honesty and claiming your story as your own. I'm sure it was so hard to do. Thanks for sharing your story. I really loved how you said that you are a sweet person and you can say difficult truths. People are multi faceted and the internet doesn't have enough space to encapsulated the whole human experience.

[stargazer]

I used to love the content Cari was posting and I was a subscriber for a fair amount of time. Then she posted that apology video. To me, in that video she didn't seem genuine at all. She posted it because your tiktok was getting attention if I remember correctly. As someone who doesn't have any connection to your story I still got really really mad at people who decided to still support Cari after that. I'm not trying to send hate to Cari, but after that I just couldn't continue to support her. I couldn't comprehend how can someone do that to another person. I'm really sorry that you had to go through all that and I hope you can move on from this and continue to post on youtube, because you seem to genuinely enjoy it. Sending you lots of love and support ❤️❤️❤️

[MeganOsten]

I’m a newer subscriber and just felt like first saying I adore your videos and they always make me smile! I just love your personality and seeing you be raw like this is very inspiring.

I also want to add... I know this was probably hard to talk about, even edit, and especially live through... and I’m so, so sorry for the pain you’ve experienced. Extremely sorry.

But now I understand why you have such a beaming aura of confidence. And you’ll only get stronger. Girl, your life is already bright and it’s only going to get brighter✨

Much love! 💕