Stop pretending there's NOT a problem in your Relationship!

#relationshipcoach #marriageadvice #relationshipproblems
Marriage is all about commitment and faithfulness and trust and connection and friendship and intimacy. Are you prioritizing those in your relationship? If not, there's really no point in even getting married. That is how we HAVE a great marriage. That is what LOVE requires of us. They aren't add on's. They are essential to a healthy marriage. You can stay together, but the presence of respect and emotional safety and closeness and playfulness is what makes a relationship thrive. And it's possible for you!

[fidellerosa]

"i was blindsided. how could i have known?"

listening, mate, listening.

[jessicagerber]

You are a fly on the wall of my 15 year marriage. You speak the PERFECT words of how a narcissistic abuser is. Better than anyone I’ve ever heard. Unreal spot on.
You just described my life and how it went down.

And every other video does too.

[lynnodonovan]

It is my experience that you can do all the talking, negotiating, counselling, professional help you want. If the other person isn’t actively interested in the relationship it isn’t going to work. It truly takes two. Took me fourteen years to figure this out. All the other person did was lie and pretend and continue to live their secret life. It devastated me.

[Ppie-hwqp]

I appreciate how this advice is not gender specific. It helps both sides of the relationship to really reflect on each talking point. You’ve helped me see what my marriage is lacking and what we both need to do. I sincerely thank you. Now the work begins…

[Sara-euws]

I think this guy is doing what he was meant to be doing…. And for that I’m pretty thankful. ❤

[monarenegadelisa]

Not just marriage, but these words resonate with myself and the no contact/estrangement that I want to achieve from my own family. I’ve tried to share my pain and feelings of disconnect to the one person I thought I could, my mom, only to be condescended to, given excuses, and not willing to have a hard conversation. I want her to understand why since childhood I’ve felt unwanted and have fantasized about running away to stop being so lonely, but I’m doubtful that it’ll be worth my effort.
Thank you for putting the words together and putting it out here. ❤

[paulahaukeli]

This is literally my life!! And you're right he thinks it's all my fault. I know this, because he told me to my face😕

[keithcharles]

She wouldn’t go. Narcissist are exempt. I went anyway and had my breakthroughs without her. Including the parts of the problem that are mine alone. In the end I pulled the plug and it was the right thing to do. She had zero interest in working on her side of the street. And yes I picked her because she was familiar and I got an all too familiar outcome. After years of hard work, I’m a free man. When we split up I was able to own the stuff that was mine which had hurt her. I owned it and apologized from the heart. She wept. I truly am free.

[Mmmmkaaay]

This is why women reach the end of their rope and ask for 75% of divorces.
Men would rather sink with the ship than admit they've hit an iceberg.

[taylortanner]

It took us a time to be able to have those rough conversations without feeling attacked. We had to sit down and decide to have them in a way that the other knows its not an attack but we are trying to make sense of it in our own heads and need our help to do so.

[vickigonya]

My ex said don't leave. (After 10 years of asking for what I needed and being dismissed by passive aggression) I said why? Give me 5 reasons you want me to stay. 5 solid minutes of silence -yeah thats what I thought. Then I said ok 1 reason. Again silence. I continued toward my car he said, " You make me have fun."
😮 🤨 🤔 😨 😡
NOT I LOVE YOU or I NEED YOU, so I said,
" Ya know what SKIPPY?! YOU can go find somebody else to ( make you have fun)""
I adopted 2 pit bulls and never looked back!!
He chased me for 15 years!!!
He Never wanted a romantic connection with me, never was my partner, we were roommates raising kids. I was nothing more than a cook, taxi, maid, irritant. Good riddance

[barbc]

💯 spot on.

I totally “blindsided “ him when leaving.

[debbiethomas]

Yes, that was my ex, except he was the controlling one. He booked the appointment with marriage guidance but it turned out he only did it because he thought they would be on his side. He tried to answer for me and when he was asked to let me speak for myself declared that wasn't why he took me there and her job was tell me to buck my f**king ideas up. When she tried to explain that wasn't her job and she had no intention of doing that he swore at her, got up and stormed out.

[ndavies]

Enjoying your videos so much. LOTS of tears and validation for me. Seems you were a fly on the wall in my past relationship. You are spot on! My ex would not give any effort to the relationship, counseling just brought more abuse--I never could find a counselor who understood where I was coming from as I am a peacemaker and my ex loves contention. His abuse escalated, so I divorced him. The hardest thing I have ever done, but now I am free. Taking in all you are sharing as I am healing and doing work on myself for hopefully a much more reciprocal and meaningful relationship next time.

[na-mccv]

It's easy to lay the blame at your partner's feet for problems in your relationship. But to look inwardly and self reflect is so important yet so difficult to do! Thankyou for all of your insightful advice!

[devonyschlotman]

You're summing up my 30 year marriage.

[adchoalulle]

The good thing is you are not their problem anymore afterwards. ❤

[Badmomsclub]

Your advice is so valuable!❤❤❤ thank you for validating the need for every single person in a relationship whether they are married or in a long term partnership. Every one has baggage that can potentially affect their relationships. Self love and shadow work is beneficial to developing the tools necessary to achieve the satisfaction desired in all of our relationships.❤❤

[kahnabull]

I went to a professional with him. The “professional” blatantly ignored the abuse I was suffering in order to remain no-fault and eventually just said “if you (my abusive partner) aren’t willing to be vulnerable or intimate then you should consider that this relationship isn’t for you.”
As if he should go and find a woman that is ok with being treated like that.

I’ll never trust a relationship counselor again.
I couldn’t believe it. Week after week. Too spineless to tell him the truth that he was abusive even when he flat out admitted to what he did and would then say “she’s just being dramatic about it.”
I hope that therapist has his license taken.

[veronicaevans]

He firmly believes it was my fault. He had a gf for the last 7 years of our 15 yr marriage