Both of our Spouses Came out as Transgender - Why We Stayed

We are a rainbow family documenting our journey.
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[sarahlivingstone]

I have just found your channel and this video in particular - I'm going to send a link to my wife. She has known I am trans for 35ish of our 37 years together, I have lived a lie since I was 5 years old and finally started falling apart 10 years ago. All my family, friends and former work colleagues have been absolutely fine but the person I want acceptance from really struggles with it.

[TheLaughingLion]

I found your channel after my wife came out as transgender. I understand how isolating it can be to be a partner to someone who is transgender. Other people understand to a certain extent but it’s hard to not feel alone going through her transition. Your videos help and I look forward to trying to find trans groups in our area. Thank you for both of you sharing your experiences ❤️❤️

[EllieMaeNelson]

I am a 70 yo transgender woman who hid it for 65 years for fear of losing my spouse of 39 years and my children. My biggest fears came true in February 2019 when they all abandonded me, and amm not allowed to visit the grandchildren. The next few years have been extremely difficult but I have created a loving community with a Reconcilling in Christ Lutheran church and my recovery community. Shay you are an amazingly beautiful woman and I will continue to follow your journey.

[theoblomqvist]

I came out as trans three years ago, at 45. I can really relate to what you're saying and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting these videos ❤ I'm convinced that the love and acceptance you have for your spouses will spread across the world and make it a better place for all of us. Greetings from Finland. Love Theo ❤

[ering]

Thank you for this video. My wife came out as trans 3 years ago and it feels lonely as I rarely come across other women in the same situation as me, thank you for sharing this representation

[justHil_Fl]

As a member of the LGBTQ + community understanding the trans journey is still not something we hear about often. I’m so grateful to families like yours who have made it possible for our community to understand what our own people are going through. ❤

[dawnw]

This video should have a million views by now. No matter where you come from, how you were raised, and what you believe: EVERYBODY NEEDS TO HEAR THIS. The underlying theme is acceptance. Meet people where they are, love them, and do it all over again. Period. Thank you for giving us an amazing example of this ideal.

[nellierene]

Amanda, I've learned so much from you and Shay over the last couple years and I'm grateful for your willingness to share and be open in the face of the often times ugly side of the YTverse. My beautiful daughter is in a transgender relationship and her incandescent happiness in finding her person has been a fulfilling thing to witness. I wish more people were willing to see past their religious beliefs and just love without judgement. I've found in her journey what on the surface is acceptance, is actually quiet, desperate internal prayer for her salvation and I don't know how to deal with that when I feel it from others. Much love to you and yours! 🌈❤

[iamerica]

Wow, this video is such a breath of fresh air. As a trans-woman myself being married to my wife, I deeply appreciate this interview! So thank you for this. ❤

[alsinclaire]

Thank you so much for sharing your journey. My wife and I have been together 18 years and married for 16 years, and I began my trans discovery four years ago. It's really inspiring to hear from you, how you've dealt with being the wife and supporting your trans wife's in their struggles and journey. I've often felt guilty for changing the dynamics of our relationship, and this helps a lot to year your sides.

[debbienelson]

I appreciate your videos so much. I am not LDS, but from another conservative faith. I have been opening my mind to understand and listen to journeys like yours. I remember several years ago watching a video of a pastor’s family whose daughter was transgender. They shared their journey navigating their faith and loving their daughter. It really hit home for me. I love my own children so deeply. I would never abandon them no matter their journey. I have been moved in the same way by your story and the love you have for each other. I am so happy you have found friends that are sharing your experience. Someone who you can talk to like this is such a blessing.

[sarabazlinton]

I loved listening to your conversation, and am so glad you have each other for support and understanding. My daughter is trans, she first told me almost 4 years ago when she was 20. We have been so fortunate that our whole family have accepted her truth, even though some struggled to understand. The honest truth is, so did I, in the beginning. I’ve learned over the last 4 years that the abstract concept of someone coming out as trans is much, much harder to accept and understand than it is when the trans person is a loved one. My daughter may look completely different now, go by a different name, but she is essentially the same person she always was, still that little baby I carried and gave birth to. The sense of humour hasn’t changed, or the smile, though I get to see that so much more than I did before! I have come to realise that if you really love someone, the fact they are trans makes no difference to how you feel about them.

[bkm]

This is an incredible experience, learning more about the trans community than I ever thought. I hope you continue to share the journey with us, so that we can understand your needs and what it is like to be here now with the world opening up to a reality that love is love and is more about consciousness than body parts. Thank you for sharing Amanda and Holly💕👍

[valarya]

"Forging a new path, learning new things, and unlearning many things along the way." You are seriously THE BEST... I love how full of love and acceptance you are. 💜 I found it interesting that you both touched on the moment you realized that the future you envisioned can no longer exist. As a parent of a trans man (who came out in his teens), something my support groups spoke about is how even if you support your loved one 100% and are a true ally (which I am), you still have to go through a grieving period for that fantasized future. We're all human, we all think about the future, and it's okay to feel scared about no longer knowing how that will look. I never thought about it in the context of a spouse, but of course you would go through the same thing! And how cool that once your vision of the future changes, a whole host of new things open up. 😊

[MaryM-wk]

I'm so proud of both of you and your beautiful wives. ❤❤ (58 yr old cis gender woman here)

[jordyndillard]

I have struggled for weeks. Coming up on 2 years HRT and nearly 8 years transitioning openly, this video and channel has given me so much hope. Name change, gender marker and birth certificate change in the past two years. Life truly does get better. <3

[gameplaygirl]

Subbed. Im not trans, and i dont have anyone in my life that is trans, but i am an ally. I cant understand what it feels like to be trans or have a partner who is, but i think its important for the rest of us to have a better understanding from an outsider perspective. And im sure your channel brings a lot of hope for others struggling with their gender

[ozzygorton]

I'm a former Jehovah's Witness and a Non Binary person, thank you for posting this video, it truly helps so many people 😀

[yesucansell]

My wife would leave me. How do I know? She told me that. Being trans is so isolating as it is. I hope all people evolve into the future and mirror these two wonderful women.

[Loverevolution]

Thank you. I am not trans and have struggled to understand. Your videos by far have been the best at explaining this and your love has been truly inspiring. You both are gifts to a world that seems very divided