Authenticity without empathy

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[NikkiHarrisFilms]

"Honesty without kindness is cruelty.
Kindness without honesty is manipulation."

I heard this a while back, it hit like a ton of bricks.

[CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

"You just don't like that I am brutally honest" was my favorite. He was an authentic A🕳.

[flatironnewyork]

Great quote by Adam Grant: " 'I was just being myself' isn't an excuse for disrespectful behavior. It signals a lack of concern for others. Authenticity without empathy is selfish. Authenticity without boundaries is careless. Be true to your values, but show regard for others' values."

[BonesAndButtons]

Yes, they are being authentic. Authentically awful. They are doing us a favour by sharing their "authenticity." They are straight up showing us that they are toxic and to be avoided. Authentically awful!

[chakra]

Wow. My narcissist talks to me in an angry voice when gaslighting, invalidating, and in general. When I said that it hurt me to be talked to in a hostile tone of voice, I was told that that was their normal (authentic) tone of voice. GASLIGHTING! I know this because a few minutes later I heard them chatting up someone on the phone in a most pleasant and jovial voice.

At the very least, inconsistency damages credibility. Authenticity requires consistency.

[ardent]

"Authenticity without empathy is like a license to be mean." Yup, absolutely! I don't usually hear the narcissistic people around me say they're authentic, but I hear them use the word "realist" most likely meaning they "keep it real" or they look at the reality of the situation or they're "authentic", what I notice they're really doing is being as negative and pessimistic as they can possibly be. The worst outcome is the first thing they bring up and never consider any positive outcomes to any situation.

[tracydanneo]

This used to be called, “I’m just being honest.” Remember that behavior where people could be “brutally honest” and insult or otherwise abuse and disrespect you? And it was like a virtuous thing? That evolved into authenticity, IMO.

[seetasingh]

Authenticity is a trap. People want others to reveal their inner selves so they can judge. Stay away from strangers. Childhood advice which is excellent

[Gracie.Gardener]

A narc I knew, went to therapy years ago. The therapist told the family “he won’t change. He will always be like this.”
He and his family used this as a sort of ‘get out of jail free’ card, whenever he behaved badly. They would shrug and comment “well he is just being who he is, and you know he cannot change”.
It is a very perverse form of authenticity

[rubberbiscuit]

Interesting ideas. Because a narcissistic person lacks empathy there is nothing to moderate or balance out her "authenticity."
May we be safe from the authenticity of narcissistic people.

[xXNoMoralzXx]

Authentic was NEVER a good or bad thing. Much like the truth is neither good nor bad. Society overhypes certain traits and allows for the misconception of authenticity as a good trait of others when really its just a sign that what you see is what you get. Also just because someone is authentic in some ways doesnt mean they aren't two-faced in others.

[franceshickman]

“Before the narcissist got ahold of it, it was a good word.” Omg that was gold.

[Bpdbryan]

It’s very much the “I tell it like it is” mindset they use.

for me when I try to be authentic, it’s more about expressing my emotions, setting boundaries and standing up for myself where needed. but i also know that doesn’t mean I can hurl insults at people left, right and centre.

however I think us survivors can also end up coming across as “inauthentic” because of trauma responses like fawning. Worried that being ourselves will mean further abuse.

[gmunoz]

Authentic people don’t have to describe themselves. They just are! Others recognize them as authentic and then use to describe someone as being authentic. Ditto “I’m a Christian” “In my humble opinion…” When you hear someone label themselves…turn around and RUN! Lol🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♂️

[TylerLarson]

My ex strongly believed that authenticity meant acting on her impulses; that exercising self control was being "fake". It wasn't who she was because it wasn't what she wanted to do.

[Karin_and_Bim]

doctor RAMANI stands for:

R emarkable
A ltruistic
M indful
A uthentic
N urturing
I mpactful

i wish i could meet her in person  🤗

[judithbarringer]

If a narcissist needs to demonstrate empathy for their jobs, they use it to pretend to be authentic but really they just want your money and adoration.

[AK-usrw]

“Authentic” in narcissism is a world of manipulation and chaos. Authentic in healthy people who have empathy is a world of reciprocity and peace.

[moniquejackson]

Brilliant. Among healthier people, Authenticity is automatically understood to include respect and empathy for others within the general scope of psychology and healthy living. Narcissists have twisted the term into self-serving permission to treat others abusively in the name of Authenticity.

[frau_ic]

Here are 2 thoughts of mine on this interesting topic:
I believe that empathy does not mean that there is always only one response/action/opinion. But the essence is authentically empathic.
Also, I have seen narcissistic parents fear or even hate their child's innate empathy part and try to either eradicate it or use it against the child.