Can Your Standards Make You Too Picky?

#jonathonaslay #datingadvice

Get Him To Commit Before Sleeping Together (The Dating Vow)

Have you ever heard the saying: Women are the gatekeepers of sex, and men are the gatekeepers of commitment?

The "Dating VOW" Before Sleeping Together

I ___________________ agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next 3 to 6 months.

I ___________________ agree to be monogamous sexual while we have regular sex together

I ___________________ agree to not actively seek to meet/date others while we are in this dating process (include taking down dating profile)

I ___________________ agree to speak up if this isn't working for me vs. pulling back, ghosting or disappearing

I ___________________ agree to invest regular time in this process of getting to know you which looks like this _______________

90% of men will bail on this because thousands of women will have sex without any commitment/agreement whatsoever. If all women are banned together (going forward), this will change how men treat/view sex, but in the meantime, if he does agree, you have a better chance of commitment than without it.

[aenigmatica]

I’m always thinking about this! I’m leaning toward staying single for longer and waiting for someone who does meet my “standards.” Seems like a needle in a haystack or even impossible at times, but I have to hold out hope.

[sylviareisman]

After everything I have experienced, I refuse to tolerate or settle for any immature, unavailable, poor communicating, flaky, flighty, selfish, psychotic, addictive behaviors, serial dating, etc. narcissistic I don't think I will ever date a man unless I am introduced through a friend or business colleague. I know what I am seeking and don't believe it will be on line.
There are so many selfish people and I have ZERO tolerance for these types.
I forgot to add: the true test of true love is when one partner becomes ill.
It's easy to love a person when they are well and everything is wonderful.
When a marriage or long term relationship can withstand hard times, that is true love and commitment.

[LisaGemini]

I agree completely, Jonathon! In my case, I used to choose take-charge Alpha men who might try to control me. I'm very happy having my independence right now. To me, height means ZERO. It's about your personality, your integrity, the quality of your character. I appreciate how you help and educate us, Jonathon our Big Brother (and not like in 1984, LOL) and I wish you all the best in your new relationship! HUGS.

[mariseshawcross]

No, we’re not being picky we just know what we want & why should we expect less than the standards we have decided upon.

[GODISMYSTERIOUS]

Love changes Jonathan. Now his voice is mellower. 😃. It is natural. Love can make a person softer and sweeter. Someday we may see Jonathan to get married again.

[lisacaspero]

I’m 5’11”, 6’2” is not too picky for me!

[CatherineInColorado]

Excellent video Jonathon! Bruce Lee could definitely kick butt! Can you find a guy like him for me? Size definitely isnt everything. LOL 😂

I appreciate your encouragement for us to lead by example and to focus on our values, standards and blendable lifestyles. 🌟

[gloriae]

Jonathan, as I go through my new dating Journey. I recently met someone and I was curious about his life. When I started asking genuine questions he took it as me being a news reporter or a detective. I stopped the conversation immediately since I knew that he wasn't ready for what I am ready for. I continue to learn through all your videos Jonathan. I'm so grateful 🙏

[glamazn]

I just want to thank you for sharing your history with this new woman because you said that it almost didn't happen. You shared that there was a long series of texting, with gaps included, and at the beginning you "didn't like" the first phone call. These are things that, when I am seeking a partner online, I would use as reason to drop the conversation, and I would promptly unmatch them. But you hung in there!! So now when I interact with match wannabes, I am not so impatient and ready to find a reason to eliminate them from consideration. It's a more relaxed way of starting things, and I don't get stressed about speed and/or whether I perceive their level of interest correctly or not. I don't go OMG, OMG I need to text them right back or they'll go away.

And also, what seems to happen when I browse possible matches and there are so many that won't work, but every once in a while, I see someone with possibilities. I respond to their bio with questions that are about something in their profile. I am showing that 1.) I am more creative than the average user, so I never open with "how's your day?", and 2.) I am guiding their responses to topics that have nothing directly to do with relationship, and I'm just hangin' out, like with a friend. This makes the intro texts so much less stressful.

But then...you knew there was a "but then", didn't you...what happens is that somehow my swipe-lefts on most of the male pulchritude available on the dating apps are discouraging and then when a real possibility shows up, I text them very soon after I see them, with my standard into questions about something in their bio, innocent, nothing about when are we gonna get laid. But what follows is so predictable, like gravity or thermodynamics and they immediately unmatch me. I don't know why this is, but it is probably just coincidence, maybe? Or do they subconsciously pick up that I am way more interested than in the average guy? It's always the average guys that want to get together right away, and I am underwhelmed. Or...it could be that my guy of the moment is so hot that he only wants a younger woman. WTF??!! But now, thanks to you, I can just flounce away knowing he's the wrong guy!
So thank you again! This works even when you're still at the swiping stage.

[BrtaTigrCatQween]

I have a problem, I completely stopped all dating sites! Yuck. The last time was 2013. No dating since. I like to be single completely. Was married, divorce 2004. I have a Wall. Your right online stuff is awful. But. I do not do any 1 night stands. I have psoriasis too
It does not help. Thanks for sharing everything does resignate. ❤🙏Giving my Kittys love and hugs and my 1 son. Just found you tonight. You remind me of an older version of the actor on OZARK lol
I always wanted a relationship more unconditional. Not all about sex. I am almost 59 yr old in Nov. Our dating world is a nightmare and Covid never helps. Hermit life. 😶🙏Thank you.

[MarenArt]

resonates a lot, been thinking about this so much myself lately ... the other similar thing for me to concider has been the issue about which standards are the core ones and which ones the kind that one should still work on within themselves in self growth ...thank you again for the video, Jonathon

[jenniferl]

Love this Jonathon. Recently had a Bumble date with a nice guy and I actually followed up with him and suggested meeting up again as it seemed our values are aligned and we had nice chemistry and connection (and we lived blocks from each other in New York City which is rare to find!), but he used the excuse of being busy with work - to me that is he's just not into me! I even told him it's totally cool if you aren't interested in going out again - this is what is frustrating with dating. Just be FREAKING honest and say you aren't interested instead of saying you are busy with work. Lame excuse. I have become strong in myself and take it as Rejection is Protection. On to the next one who is right for me. Thank you for your wisdom.

[stephaniepersin]

Women are considered gold diggers when they want a man to be employed and treat them well. Such high standards.

[kimberlyzickefoose]

I know I’ve become that way. I’d rather stay single these days lol. Great video 😊

[nannettehernandez]

Thank you for the hug and your time for giving us words of wisdom. I enjoy watching your videos. Have a wonderful day. 💕

[patriciapage]

Johnathon, I'm reading your book and I was reading about feeling guilty about sayings no. Could you do a video on that. I think it's important to hear that again. It would help me understand what your thoughts are on that subject. Thank. 👍

[alaaaaa]

Well my sister was telling me about a man & his list of what he's looking for :respectful, fun, social, religious, pretty, white, neither skinny or fat, medium height (which didn't match that I'm introvert & skinny, at first I thought it could be negotiable).

I told myself that his list is too shallow and I said no, as a way of respecting myself, but after that I could only feel that I've rushed rejecting him due to my insecurities and fear, I honestly don't know if I did the right thing or not

[GODISMYSTERIOUS]

Some men and women are very superficial or vain, they require their mates, partners, boyfriends or girlfriends to have highly maintenance habits. I remember Robert Kardashian said he would not date a woman who didn’t do manicure. I personally think clean healthy nails look prettier than fake nails or outrageously long, sharp nails with cancerous nail lacquer.

[alexandrataylor]

Good morning! So calm and direct. Nicely done. As always. I like you can role with whatever mood your in. Thank you for your advice and insight.

[DM-wvto]

Thanks for this Jonathon, it was clear and helpful. I do think you highlighted the important things, the essence of who we are as people has to blend and we shouldn't sweat the small stuff.