How To Stop Letting Small Things Get To You

There are many ways to look at any situation, and it's all about how you reframe or think of it.

What if you could stop yourself from letting small negative things get to you? My favorite technique for doing just that is what I call "reframing".

The underlying idea is that there are many ways to look at a situation. Some of them are going to be negative, but there is almost always at least one that will be constructive and even energizing.

Reframing is about finding a different lens you can look through, or a different perspective you can take on the situation.

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[arialeggert]

My roommate was talking loudly this morning which had woke me up and I couldn’t fall back asleep I was angry at first but realized that now I have more time to take my time getting ready for the day.

[chyrisalana]

Well today I wanted to give my boyfriend a hug before he left for work and he said "c'mon I really gotta go I don't have time, I'm serious." I was hurt by this. The one positive spin I could find was that he is dedicated to showing up to work on time & that means he is more likely to get promoted.
Another bad event today was getting my medicaid claim dismissed when earlier they said it should work just fine. I guess the positive from that is I am going to learn more about the health care system and be better prepared to make medical choices for myself in the future.
Still not able to recover very quickly from these things though as I'm a highly sensitive individual and feel things more profoundly than most. (INFP meyers briggs type).
Thanks for the video!

[joshuahobbs]

This does work, but you have to be wary of it. If you are always in the moment and react quickly, sometimes you can forget this advice. For instance, I have a job that is constantly having me run back and forth and when someone is moving slowly or not doing what they should, it comes back to me. This angers me, but a lot of the time, I put it off. Sometimes, you don't have time to sit and be wary of a situation.

[omsh]

I noticed this tiny thing that was wrong with my phone and now I have named the tiny thing that was wrong and I feel better :-)

[EllaBella-gmdv]

Most inconveniences are only temporary. First I look at the long term effect of the inconvenience to get rid of tunnel vision: will somebody die because of it and will the parties involved be able to find happiness again? Then I try to find a positive thing about the convenience: did I learn something new? Lastly I am thankful that I am dealing with an inconvenience and not a tragedy. For example, I serve customers and put their credit card back on the table once I swiped it. One customer forgot his card at the store and when he came back he was very angry and it was directly aimed at me. Why didn't I give him his credit card? You see, while other customers take their credit card once I put it on the table in front of them, he expected me to put it in his hand. I was upset for screwing up at work. how will this effect me on the long term? Nobody died, the customer will find happiness again, I will be happy again in the future. The positive thing is I learned that the store has a lost and found register and how to complete the procedure. Thirdly I am thankful that it was an inconvenience and not a tragedy. The store didn't cease to exist and I am going to have a warm meal at the end of the day.

[qhrzty]

i have a friend i am showing this video to she really needs the help thank you !

[lolimiy]

Thank you so much for the advise. I sill-dyed 40 Easter eggs as a small gift for my classmates today. I asked one of the lady if she got her egg, she replied:'' yea, I tried to eat a bit, and someone told me better not to eat it because whoever made it not sure if the dye from the silk is safe to eat. I was like, then what is the point making it if you can't eat, so I throw it away! '' I replied with a ok then walked away. she then came to ask how I made them, and took another egg with a friendlier tone. A bit later today, I found out that she throw the 2nd egg in garbage right after I left class! She doesn't have to take it if she doesn't like it and doesn't have to be rude to me. It's been bothering me since, so I watched your video and try to reframe and feel better now. Thank you :)

[oisire]

Thank you so much for this simple advise, it totally changed my perspective!
Me and my friends were planning from days to go to the sea tomorrow morning, and this evening one of them said that she had to go have breakfast with her boyfriend so we had to go to the sea later. This made me really upset because i hate when people cancel plans they already had, to do something else with someone else. Then i saw your video and I immediately thought “well the positive aspect is that i can sleep more tomorrow”. I immediately felt more relaxed and calm, and this never happened before because i always try not to get angry but i know i still am inside of me. This is the first time that i actually let go my anger instead of fighting it. Thank you so much
(Sorry my english is not perfect because it’s not my first language)

[charliebrown]

Wow awesome thank you Kay I honestly didn’t think any videos were going to make me feel better but yours did!

[UCrmaNCysyZipDZotXnZA]

I've been doing this and kinda stopped for sometime(I think). Didn't got taught by anyone and more on noticing they looking it at a different perspective and I just copied their process after noticing the behaviour. Thank you for this video! It serves as a reminder that I should do this more often. Thansk for the vocabulary aswell :)

[nanlev]

For me it’s very difficult. I live in a non smoking apartment complex and my upstairs neighbors smoke pot. I smell it and I have an upper respiratory condition, it isn’t helping me. The apartment staff have done a great job addressing the issue but the people deny it and they won’t stop.. Also there are these kids that keep throwing things at my living room window. It happened two weeks ago and I was so stunned by it that I opened the blinds and looked out the window to see what was going on. I motioned for them to stop and that was the beginning of the game for them. The rest of the night they threw things and then again in the middle of the week and then on the weekend again and this past Wednesday and again today. I stopped responding after the first time because that’s what they want. The apartment complex instructed me to call security. The police said without knowing who they are it’s difficult to do anything. So I’m miserable and stuck in this apartment. I can’t find any other place to live because everything is too expensive. So while agree with you I just don’t know how to reframe the hell I’m living in.

[kylie]

This video helped SO much. I always forget this piece of advice for some reason, and when I remember to try looking at things from different perspectives it helps a lot

[daisyrowaro]

Excellent ! I just returned home waiting for a line for voting in my local elections to go down ! Very timely !

[Jacobcoleyray]

When something bothers me. What I intend to do is try to look upon the positive side, if I can’t get it out of my mind I just keep repeating it until it gets through to me

[alexthedub]

that's very nice and simple. Thank you very much May!

[elenav]

This just helped me so much right now I just lost hope on everything and you made me smile haha

[andrianadryan]

Im 50/50 on this.. half of the answers sound like people just putting up, shutting up & telling yourself its somehow a good thing. I guess if it makes you feel good and its a one-of thing, sure.

[yelenaraedel]

I saw some scratched on my super expensive new car today, how do you re-frame that?

[christophermartinez]

Thank you May this truly energized me ♥️

[anferneelopez]

I was only doing my third shift job at the airport. When I was only taking my time to finish my work, the other coworkers think I'm slow and wanted me to go fast when we are not rushing anything