Everything Is Television

An extended diary entry, a confession I hope I won't regret.

Music in order of appearance:

Yume Nikki OST – Torinigen Beat (Extended)
TOBACCO – Berries That Burn
The Caretaker – Libet’s Delay
Goldeneye (1997) OST – el-Saghira Temple, Egypt
Hohenheim – Vestiges
Welcome to Isle Delfino – Super Mario Sunshine
Haircuts for Men – Vaporwave Collection Vol. II
Yume Nikki OST –The Pink Sea (Extended)
bl00dwaves – hotel vibes
Light Blending In – Light (ft. Sangam)
Sable Soundtrack – Exploration (Ruins)
1940s Hits Archive – Melody of Love – Wayne King (his instrumental version)
Kevin MacLeod – Virtutes Instrumenti
Chris Zabriskie – I Am Running Down the Long Hallway of Viewmont Elementary
C418 – I lack an emotion
Boards of Canada – Heard From Telegraph Lines
The Growlers – Problems III

Sources and Useful Links:

[purplehaze]

If it makes you feel any better about your school experience, even before the pandemic, my highschool put me in a Spanish class ran by a teacher who didn't even speak Spanish.

[nekrovulpes]

I feel you bro. The internet didn't used to be television, but it is television now. I don't know how old you are but I am guessing about ten years younger than me; I grew up alongside the internet and saw it grow from the early days. It's just so much of a different thing now. I don't just mean this in that jaded boomer kind of way, but it just used to be so much more personal and intimate. There was the potential for interaction. Now... It's just like TV. The stuff you read, the people you watch and listen to online are just like the TV celebrities of that era. They're strangers who you watch through this one way screen. The interaction is harder and harder to find.

[laxpors]

This video expresses sentiments I have been developing in recent months. I'm glad other people out here on this internet hellscape share similar feelings. Thank you for making this Solar Sands, it may be an important wake up call to many different people.

[pumpkinmaryam]

“a friend group you can rarely, if ever, participate in” so basically 90% of friend groups I was in as a child 😅

[BigBeakEntertainment]

Only Solar Sands would make a 40 minute video telling me to "touch grass".

But in all seriousness, this video speaks to me in the same way I suspect Warhol's quote speaks to Solar Sands. I spent most of my life as a self-isolated introvert with few friends and willing to sleepwalk through my life just hoping loneliness would hurt a little less. It took me a very long time to learn to reconnect with people, and I'm still learning. Luckily, I graduated a year before the pandemic, I can't imagine the toll it took on introverted students. As a student, especially, I found it much easier to decouple from people, since you're typically still a dependent and don't have to interact with people to live. But last month I did something I never thought I would do: I got married. I'm not going to pretend that I have answers, or that anyone reading this cares for my insight, or even that it might apply to anyone but myself, but if I could write a letter to me of 10 years ago, I would say that circling the drain, not caring where the current took me, I was missing out on something. In the 8 years I've known my wife, the one thing she reminds me to do better than anyone is to swim, to reject the complacency of my anxieties and my comfortable routines; to do more. My life is much better for my trying to associate with the world and the people in it, even though in the end trying is all we can do.

[s_cabbage]

It's simply insane how much Solar Sands's content has evolved over the years.

[belle]

"I try to interact but nothing feels real" That's the perfect way to put it into words. I feel this all the time

[aethanbeaudry]

I watch this, the video ends, an ad plays, I close the YouTube app and open discord. I tap random channels without reading anything. I close the discord app and open instagram. I scroll aimlessly without watching anything. It’s the most miserable cycle, like a corpse trapped in a cave or something. It’s just trapped there, not decaying

[EliyahuDesmond]

I've got to say, though the internet isn't wholly a positive development, I consider your voice to be one of the more honest, clear, and needed opinions. It is rare to have a YouTuber or really anyone who combines the depth and sincerity you do in your commentary, and it is appreciated. dw i don't think we are friends

[Enteral_abyss]

Man this is the most relatable video I’ve ever watched. I went through serious depression this summer where I started to feel the effects of living in continued isolation. I started to feel the consequences of being a compulsive loner. And I found myself stuck in an endless cycle. I know interactions over the internet are never the same as real life ones, but it’s great to know I’m not alone in this.

[laurenkay]

"Substitute the guaranteed meaningless suffering for the potentially meaningful suffering" I needed that

[pelagicdesperado]

When I was in college I put Monumentality on the TV at my house and 10 drunk people sat in silence absorbing that video. I doubt any of them would've sought out videos like yours on their own but when it was presented to them they were hooked. Your videos became a topic of conversation and a few of the people in that group became good friends of mine that I keep in touch with regularly. You struggle to make friends and form tight bonds but your content has probably helped a lot of people become friends.

[meerman]

I believe that most of us, the people on the internet, are lurkers.
We never post anything, nobody needs to know what we think.
I never make posts or write comments, but I feel the need to tell you this video you made is incredible.
The writing and the editing is excellent and the subject matter is very interesting.
This in particular is something I personally relate to alot.

I've always felt a sense of isolation, and feeling as though I was watching life through a television screen, like I was a character in a video game.
I am neurodivergent, but I am aware of reality. In fact, more so than what is considered necessary.
And while there can be some problems caused by this, I've found a way to appreciate and embrace this side of me, it's oddly comforting.
I want to thank you for this content, because it's a good presentation of a feeling that is not talked about.

I want to say a quick hello to the people who might read this and share my sentiment.
It is fascinating to exist.

[CyberGrapeUK]

Even if I don't meet or talk to anyone outside, I feel like the time spent alone walking through a quiet park or wondering about in a shopping trip or even the moments of thought between the concentration on driving there is immensely more valuable than sitting and staring at the same, stale site 24/7.

[ThatRipOff]

This was like a knife stabbing the very essence of my being. It struck so close to home. I'll resist writing a drawn out rant, but dang. What an amazing analysis.

[shadowhunter]

It's incredible how quickly I went from viewing the pandemic as a dream vacation where I could game forever, to contemplating suicide because of how empty I felt without other people.

[kazooha]

a few years ago, i went over a year feeling like nothing was real. i came to learn it was called and it was brought on immediately after a traumatic sexual assault experience i had while i was with a former friend. it felt like i was watching my life through a tv screen, or that i was in a dream. it felt like everything i saw was a two dimensional image and i wasn’t in a physical 3d world. everything felt so muted and lifeless that i often had thoughts of suicide, thinking that that would make me “wake up”. fortunately i never went through with it or self harmed, but it was an extremely difficult year to get through because no one would take me seriously. eventually that feeling went away and now i rarely have it, but since then i’ve secluded myself to my room for many years. part due to my self image issues, part due to not wanting to be hurt again the way my former friend hurt me, and part because i’ve always had a small social battery. i always thought i was “happy” living in my room through a phone screen but really i was just comfortable. i was comfortable that i didn’t have to put in effort and that i felt like i couldn’t be hurt again; when in reality i was hurting myself. the only thing that made me realize how awful this lifestyle was was when i became diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. my condition was so bad that i was hospitalized because the doctors thought it was “a miracle” that i hadn’t gone into a coma and died already. at that moment i realized that if i *had* died, the only memories i would’ve had of my life were the blurry nothing-days that bled into each other. that the last memory my parents and family would have had of me were of me rotting away in my bed and phone. to not make this post drag on even longer, i decided then that i’m not wasting my one chance to experience life like that.
i’m taking my health seriously, i’m losing weight, i’m getting back into old hobbies, i’m limiting my screen time drastically, and i’m working towards a career/future i want for myself. it’ll take a long time before these changes become habit but i’m determined to see everything through, even after getting covid a few weeks ago. it’s hard to socialize. it’s hard to connect with people, even scary sometimes because you never know what their intentions might be. but *every* decision you make in life will be hard and will have consequences. socializing is hard, getting your health right is hard, but wasting your life away behind a screen is hard too. it might not take effort, but knowing your life will be filled with meaningless static and no real connections or moments is a very hard realization to live with. so choose your hard. choose which hard you want to go through. choose which hard you can live with. choose which hard will be worth it. choose which hard will make you happier in the long run.

sorry for the long post but this video hit something deep. it perfectly described my situation, but also made me see things from a different perspective, different ideas, and even new artists i’ve never heard of. thank you so much for making this video, Solar. not only is the editing and quality absolutely amazing and engaging, but the message and perspective you offer really resonates with many people.
i hope everyone that comes across this video, or comes across my comment and has similar experiences, will benefit in some way from it.

[gmc_]

It's insane the amount of fleeting thoughts about everything are contained in this one video

[joeyn]

This was really daunting but really moving. Got me to put my phone down and work on my shortfilm at the very least.

Also the section of the video about the "war of the sexes" was depressingly true. No one tries to understand each other and bases their opinions on them on outliers.

[BlueFlower___]

This is a beautiful video. I have many words about this and how much i feel this. But i feel like that doesn't matter. About a hundred other people have already said that, regardless they truly understand or not. But i do. No one will even read this. I'm going to leave it unsaid because only I can understand how this video spoke to me. Truly. Thank you.