Stages Of Dementia Caregiving: From Chaos To Calm

Hey there Careblazer! Welcome back to Careblazers TV, the place where we talk about everything dementia. If you are caring for a loved one with any type of dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, Lewy Body Dementia, or vascular dementia, then this is the place for you! I post a video every Sunday on the topic of dementia caregiving.

Are you a caregiver who finds dementia caregiving overwhelming and challenging? Do you often wish for a smoother, more comfortable journey in caring for your loved one? If so, you're not alone. Let's explore the three stages of dementia caregiving that every caregiver experiences.

Here’s a few of my videos that are related to this topic:

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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. In my job, I help people with dementia, and their caregivers, by visiting them in their own homes and helping them cope through the many struggles of caring for someone with dementia. I have always wanted to help more people than is possible for me in a work day. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I do this in my spare time. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacaregiver

[Ragonyou]

I'm about to walk down this path with my Mother and I feel alone. This is the first time I became brave enough to watch these videos. I grew up thinking that tough meant muscles and knowing how to fight. Instead, it's learning to LOVE and not to QUIT. Love you Mom and all of you. Stay tough❤

[Catherinelvigil]

Stage 3 here. Stage 1 was a challenge. It lasted for about 5 months. Stage 2 was about 4 months. What's interesting is that it's getting better even though my Father is getting worse. What I have discovered is he might now know he really needs the help where at first he was angry with the help.

[druchampion-payne]

I am so not good at any of this ... my husband has Alz and almost every single day, when things are tough, I catch myself thinking ... 'I don't know if I can do this anymore' ... and those thoughts make me feel so guilty and ashamed of myself. Anyway, I'm new to this channel so I know I'm in the right place and it feels safe to share these icky thoughts. And I'm definitely in stage #1.

[williamanstock]

Thank you for this video. I figured both my wife and I are in stage 3. There are more happy days than bad ones and so much is a result of your advice. I'm starting to get a better grip on the many things that help us to add smiles to the day than things to get up set about. Really very simple things make her happy. For me I have to realize that what you told her 2 minutes ago rarely takes hold. Be calm and repeat without frustration. Often little things like a (for no reason) kiss or a pinch on the butt puts a smile on her face. This avoids so many of her issues when confused. Her accounts of getting angry have greatly diminished. I just wanted to let you know your advice has helped me/us greatly. Thank you

[jcristi]

I’m I. Stage 3, thank goodness. But I’ve been living with mom for 8 years now, from before she had any confusion. So I wasn’t a caregiver at first. It’s just been the last year that my role is changing.
I used to get testy when she asked something repeatedly. I hurt her feelings once and I realized she’s kind of like a 3-year-old. So once I put my mommy hat on it was easier.
I’m getting used to pretending it’s the first time she asked. Things are much better. She knows she’s confused about things so she doesn’t need me piling on.
I do need to get some help and take care of myself. That’s the next step.

[jelizabethpetrie]

Beginning of stage 2. It’s hard in the sense that I’m an only child, so it’s hard to see my former librarian mom be able to put her hands on a certain file within seconds. Cause it’s something she remembers doing a few years ago. But due to a double stroke five years ago, short term memory is so fleeting that…Then minutes later she will reconfirm with me what day it is for the fifth time in maybe twenty minutes. And it’s heartbreaking as then she says she is also aware that remembering what day it is goes right out of her memory after she says it. I take a deep breathe and pause often.

Her stroke they found was the cause of Afib…but she walked out of hospital a few days later. I think the loss of short term memory is the only result I see. But my complication in all this is…over two decades ago (when early 40’s) I suffered a major ischemic stroke from a chiropractic neck adjustment. Severe enough to not have use of my left side for a good month, not allowed and then afraid to drive for a good 6-9 months, speech and mobility issues at first. Got 97% back, my short memory isn’t always perfect. And now my left ankle is stiff while that knee can’t always be perfect. So while caring for her, I need to push the doubts of my own capabilities to the back of my mind, given my anxiety at times in unpredictable mood swings with her. If I stay calm and reassuring, as you say. It goes smoother.❤

[madkap]

I'm pretty sure I'm in stage 2. I reached this stage with the loss of my dad last year. I hate that we battled so. But we always were that way before his dementia. I'm determined to do better with mom. Even though she drives me nuts sometimes! 😆 🤣

[carolynburns]

Every day is a different stage for me. When I feel as though I've made progress, there's always a set back

[genec]

Stage 1. Spouse, dementia and COPD. I'm 77, super healthy and physically fit (for the meantime). Now I feel the rest of my life is carved in stone as a 'caregiver'. Am having trouble accepting it but will try which is why I'm here.

[reenimelgoza]

Great video, as always. I go between stage 2 and 3. It depends on how many hours I've already worked at the hospital before coming home to mom. On my drive home I try to decompress and ready myself for the challenges at home.

[snowdiahmambondiani]

What a great teacher you are! May God bless you

[vivianpolner]

I believe I am between stage 2 and 3. I can handle things patiently and not react unfavorably unless I am over tired. My husband also has physical and mental and challenges. The showering is a challenge. Sometimes doesn’t think he needs one when he does. I think his sense of smell is gone. Thank you so much for all you help us with Dr. You are very encouraging.

[gkelly]

I feel I’m between stage 1 and 2. As soon as I think I am able to see the light, something new pop up. Thanks for this info. I needed this to encourage me to keep going!

[onthehill]

I finally figured out the best way to deal with my moms delusions. When she starts up, I immediately interrupt her with something “urgent”. For example I’ll say “hold on I left the iron on” or “just a minute…I need to use the restroom” then leave the room for a few minutes. I used to sit and try to reason with her thinking I could talk her out of her delusions. It just exasperated the problem making her more confused and me more stressed out. Anyhow, it stops her in her tracks. My son refers to it as not feeding the wildlife. It has worked every time so far.

[carolwidenhofer]

I believe I am between stages 2 and 3. Every time I listen to Dr. Natali, I am encouraged. She gives me hope for a brighter tomorrow ❤😊

[miumama]

I think as the patient progress to each stage, I am also moving from unknown, progress and smooth sailing. It's like a loop for me

[sheilaelliott]

Stage 3 here…thanks to you and your videos. I get tired sometimes, but I can cope better.

[annapril]

Thank you so much.
I am struggling daily, my family too.
I also going through depression, anxiety relapse.
My elderly dad diagnosed with moderate dementia.
Daily I am triggered by him, I am totally drained 😢.

[elainemedley]

Again excellent explanation. You got me thru stage 1 🎉 stage 2 was starting to feel like I got this 😁 stage 3 is smooth sailing for sure. We have all the helpful things in place. Little bumps are bearable, no more strughles 😅❤

[juliemcc]

Love you Natali. Always so clear, contagiously positive and generous. I am going back and forth between phase 2&3. When things change in my loved one’s behavior ( new ) i am destabilized but I know that i can adjust and that I can do it and find a solution. Thank you so much for what you already gave me with your teachings🙏🏻✨💗