Neil Gaiman's Response to the Accusations

Note: This content is being used under the principles of fair use as outlined in 17 U.S.C. § 107. The material is used for commentary, criticism, and educational purposes, and all rights remain with the original owner, Neil Gaiman.

Fable “I’m With the Banned” Book Club

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[johnmorey]

Do you remember when Neil said that we should believe the victims?

[johnmorey]

"I broke some hearts, I guess."
"I never did it."
"I don't remember any of it."
"I'm trying to do better!"
"I never use social media anyway."

[enablingcuriosity]

He was in a position of power over these women. They didn't want to lose their jobs, home, whatever. That takes consent out of the equation.

It was a nonopology, full of gas lighting.

[apollo]

The axe may forget but the tree always remembers

[nilbogllort]

Why does every man who proclaims to be a male feminist do the opposite? Joss Whedon types are everywhere and get away with it. It's just plain creepy.

[davidwelsh]

"I'm an asshole but not a criminal. And my memory stinks".

[JosLiteraryJourney]

Believe the victims! Coming from someone who has worked with victims as a professional, it is a rarity for a woman to lie about such a thing. These women need so much courage to come forward. The guilt and the shame they feel is insane. The idea that women lie about this sort of thing comes from abusers trying to discredit the victims. I mean in the Portuguese court room, a judge won't even take the victims testimony as suficient evidence for a conviction. There is either medical proof or witnesses. So yeah please believe the victims.

[B-RollBooks]

Of all the fanciful stories Neil has written, this one was his least believable. Seems like nothing but vague damage control. Thanks for sharing the post and your commentary!

[anhangamirim]

It is never consentual if there is power imbalance. He evicted the mother of two children as soon as her stop bei g his sex slave.

[jackthereader]

This is one of those cases where, even if in some bizzare world where maybe his version of events is the correct one, he still had multiple affairs with very young women including his children’s babysitter. So he’s still a scumbag. The question is whether he’s also a depraved rapist and monster. Which, I’m sorry, but when there’s multiple people making allegations that form a pattern of behaviour, and there’s little to no financial incentive involved, and the behaviour he’s admitting to is suspect anyway…

[HuntingImagination]

I love what you said about being respectful in these conversations.

My initial thoughts are that it’s a red flag when someone apologies, but claims they didn’t do anything wrong. If he says he did nothing wrong, why is he apologizing?

Because an apology is good for his image. If he truly felt remorse, he would admit his shortcomings. Yet his apology didn’t come from a place of remorse, he denied it yet still “apologized” to do some damage control.

Also one party cannot decide something was consensual for both parties. He can only decide that for himself. The other party has to agree for it to be considered consensual, and clearly the victims don’t agree with his statement. Therefore it wasn’t consensual.

I hope everyone here is taking care of themselves. Drink water, eat, sleep. And let’s continue to love and believe victims as we navigate this community together each day.

[coyotegaxiola]

Never forget: Neil Gaiman was raised by two high-level Scientologist parents. Whether he actually belongs to that organization or not, he is using a lot of techniques out of their playbook.

[Breerox]

I just feel heartbroken for these women, and I can’t imagine what it’s like to have a man you call your abuser stand before everyone to say he’s not perfect and he’s sorry and he wants to be better…. but also that he’s done nothing non consensual and their stories are full of lies. I’m not one of the victims so I can’t speak for them, but for me the implied accountability but no actual accountability would drive me mad.

[BookishTexan]

I feel like keeping the text messages is at the very least evidence that he felt he would need evidence to counter claims his victims might make about him at a future date. The rest seems pretty standard: the kind of vaguely angry, vaguely guilty, vaguely defiant message that sounds like a lawyer and a pr person helped him write.
I’ll choose to believe the women and hope everyone has their day in court.

[EmlynBoyle]

Short, cold, lacking empathy, no apologies and no accountability. His response comes across as extremely arrogant too, especially since he kept his devoted fans waiting in the dark for almost three quarters of a year. He's only bothered to finally speak when this whole thing was made more widely known in the Vulture article. That and this have finally cemented that I've wasted years of my life supporting a predator. I can't read any truly beloved works of his anymore, however much you can separate them from the artist.

[ashtoreh]

I'm glad that you're adding your voice to the commentary. Agenda free and expressing the disappointment, grief and bewilderment of fans, and not blaming the women.

As for Neil - for an intelligent man, he's suddenly apparently a big dum dum when it comes to the nuances of consent, coercive control, boundaries and abuses of power.

[Kritz_Reads]

I find it interesting that he admits to treating these women poorly, even if he denies the allegations. He knows he was wrong on some level, though his status (or believing his own lies) has warped his perception of what truly happened. Or is this just a tactic to get people to believe him? I personally believe the women who have come forward. End of story.

[LesMisunderstood]

This apology is a CLASSIC narcissistic non-apology.

[collectingmemoriesyt]

I thought his response was awful. He was accused of terrible things, things that even involved his child and his response was "Some of those things happened, but it was consensual." He also seems to think the women are mad at him because they wanted a loving relationship and he just wanted sex. It ignores the criminal aspects of what hes being accused of entirely. Hes going to work on himself? He didnt get caught saying a racial slur, hes accused of rape, humilliatiing a woman sexually and involving his son it.

Its very telling his son os never brought up in his response. You would think he would clearly come out and say "I have never abused my son or involved him in anyrhing inappropriate" but he didnt. He said sorry and hopes we move on. There is no moving on from this. I want evidence, from both sides. I want a police investigation and them to find out who did what. Hes lost my trust because what he's accused of is beyond vile, and I don't ever want to risk supporting him in any way in the off chance any of it is true.

[raymondteodosbandlabvlog]

I initially fell for his “apology”. Then I read the Vogue article thoroughly and realised he’s using the same tactics in this “apology” that he used on his victims to try and hush them up. Now I think he’s just trying to gaslight us all.