The Box and the Ball: Understanding Grief

About Nurse Hadley:

Hadley Vlahos resides outside of New Orleans with her husband and three children. With eight years of experience as a registered nurse, including six years devoted to hospice care, she has gained profound insights into the field of healthcare. Online, she is affectionately known as "Nurse Hadley," where she shares heartfelt stories from her experiences as a hospice nurse.

Beyond her nursing career, Hadley has achieved literary success as the author of the instant New York Times bestseller, "The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life's Final Moments" published by Ballantine/PRH.

When dealing with any medically related events or medical emergencies, please communicate with your primary health care provider.

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[bobbieglon]

@Hadley You are so right! This IS the best way to describe grief. I lost my best friend 42 years ago. When I recall how much I miss her, I feel the gut punch like I’m 15 years old again. She’s still my best friend and gosh, I sure do miss her. It’s going to be a crazy- good reunion some day.

PS. I’m a nurse too and I love what you do!

[ladyzeebs]

I love this description, I lost my best friend 30 years ago and the pain is still there. ♥️

[melizabethbrown]

You literally described this perfectly. I lost my dad in Feb 2020 and the grief is just like that. The pain button when hit hurts like it just happened and it happens at random times. Thank you for sharing! ❤

[meansnowflake]

This is the best description of grief I've heard. Thank you.

[elizabethmion]

Perfect description. My boyfriend committed suicide our junior year of high school. For months I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without being overwhelmed by grief. It’s been almost 7 years now and it’s easier now to remember the happy times and smile or laugh but every once in a while that grief just hits like a ton of bricks. Happened the other day when I was out at a restaurant with friends and the server asked if I wanted avocado on my tacos. Connor LOVED avocado and would put it on nearly anything. It used to drive me crazy because I couldn’t stand the texture, the smell, or even the look of it for some reason. The server probably thought I was crazy for tearing up about avocados but that simple question hurt as much as when his sister called me at 3 am that night he died and told me what was happening. Grief doesn’t get easier. You just learn to make room for it in your life.

[lilgrannyari]

Thank you. My dad died in December, but I found myself weeping in a store thinking about him last week.

[rebeka]

I lost my dad years ago, but when I found a notebook with his handwriting in it I burst out crying on my bedrooms floor for hours thinking about him and the pain of his loss. It comes back over and over just as painful as it was, sometimes it even makes me cry a little. So I think this was a perfect example for grief, thank you😌❤️

[TheMelbox]

I lost my youngest son 19 months ago to epilepsy. Your description helps me understand my grief. I can be feeling good for days and then something makes me think of him and it hurts like it did on day one. It stays with you always

[Hiii.itzkya]

My grandma died about a few months ago and went on hospice and told no one but her husband. She didn’t want me and my siblings to be worried about her passing. So the day she passed it came as a shock and her whole life she wanted to make everyone feel loved and appreciated. She was an amazing person❤️

[Gina-ck]

What a perfect way to describe it. This is exactly what it feels like….twenty years later.😢 Thank you, Hadley. You’re the angel we ALL need!❤

[goldenmoonlight]

You just explained to me why thinking about my childhood dog sometimes just randomly makes me burst into tears. Thank you!

[kristinfields]

I love this.. my wife past away at 36 unexpectedly.. it's almost been a year.. and everytime..grief hits that pain button, it sure does feel like the first day.. thank you for this. ♥️

[marilynmiller]

My 24 year old son, Jon, died 24 years ago. No time to say goodbye…. And your explanation is spot on!!! It hurts exactly like it did the first day, when my triggers are touched!

[gabriellafox]

That’s probably the best description of grief I have ever heard or seen! Thank you for the share!
🕊♥️🇨🇦🕊

[stasiachan]

I love this description of grief. It's so accurate in my opinion. I remember when I lost my several family members in close succession, and a friend of mine held me while I cried one night and described grief like this to me. It felt so accurate and so right. It's been several years since, and I know my box has gotten a lot bigger, but sometimes the ball hits the button, and I'm a puddle of tears.

Grief hurts a lot sometimes, but sometimes I just think about how lucky I was to love someone, and be loved by someone so much that it sometimes physically hurts when I remember they're gone.

[thehernandezfam]

This is the best description I've ever seen. 17 years ago, we lost our daughter and 1st born child, and I still experience the pain as bad as day one, just less often.

[mrs.doolittle]

I lost my mom in 2018, my oldest brother in 2020 and my 2nd brother in 2021. It is so true that it hits so hard, especially when I think of them with guilt.

[UnitedStatesofAutism]

It hasn’t even been a year yet for me, but my friend just sent this to me and it really is nice to be able to understand grief even though I’m having trouble feeling it yet.

[mistydake]

My dad died on this day in 2020. My mom passed 2 weeks later. This description is so incredibly accurate. She GETS it. It doesn't matter who you lost or what you are grieving. This description still applies. I love this so much. ❤

[thecochrans]

I really needed this today. I just loss a loved one today and it helps to be reminded that it will get better.