“Autistic strong sense of justice”

[WhyYouWahYoo]

What REALLY sucks about this for me is that it makes me deathly afraid of asking for help, because I’m the one who got into a given situation and it would be unfair if someone helped me.

[superaarthi]

My clever partner once told me that justice and fairness are great but they're often not very kind or forgiving. And if I had to pick one between justice or kindness, I'd pick kindness every time. So now, when I can handle it, I overpay the bill, do more than my share of chores, and splurge on birthday presents. And fill my life with people who'll do the same for me when I'm in need.

[ShakinandBacon]

The “splitting the check” I’m with you. If all I got was a water and a meal and you got an appetizer, 3 drinks, AND a meal?! Absolutely not.

[athenabonney]

My partner calls it my principle of absolute fairness and it drives them nuts lmao

[snowfire]

i feel the need to correct literally any misinformation i hear even if it’s agreeing with me or completely unimportant. i’ll also point out the flaws in people’s arguments even if they’re on my side because hearing obviously flawed arguments annoys me to no end

[maggielouise]

I'm scared of giving people good birthday gifts because that sets a prejudice that all my gifts moving forward are gonna be just as good. But sometimes, I come up with multiple brilliant gift ideas and other times, I just go to the mall the day before trying to find literally anything.

[stephenie]

Truly, it involves a lot more math than you would expect

[violetskies]

One of the hardest but most rewarding things I've had to do as an autistic person is learn to see things in shades of grey especially in regards to doing work and cores around the house/with family. It has allowed me to be a much kinder and more empathetic person to not be so focused on what's fair, and to be kinder to myself as a disabled and chronically ill person. Though I do still get seperate bills in restaurants, but that's more normal in the UK than America anyway I think. At least in my circles no one even really suggests splitting it evenly.

[BunnyTheCat]

This is actually a great example of how it’s sometimes hard for us to “see the gray area” on certain things and put our justice complexes to the side to understand nuance 😅😳

I support some folks who work janitorial for a national guard building that’s unmarked, the people inside do secret important stuff idfk it’s intense stuff though from what we hear lol. Sometimes one of the guys on the janitorial crew will want to stop and knock/ask before entering cubicles or rooms to get their trash, the thing is sometimes they’re on their phones or having an important convo with a coworker or doing serious work on the computers and don’t want to be distracted daily about their trash. He says it feels disrespectful to impede on their space to get their trash without asking, however it’s what they expect of them doing their job. They expect the trash to quietly be taken out and the building/bathrooms to be tidied daily without the staff working there worrying about any of it. I explained that us quietly entering when they expect us to to grab their trash is not disrespectful or overstepping it’s what’s expected of “us”(them) as janitorial employees in this specific position. He understood/worked on it and now only chats with them when they’re noticeably open to it or not busy, which is great improvement and I’m proud of him!! It’s sometimes those vague moments that are difficult for us to navigate due to our rigid mindsets of how “rules” work. It’s a process!! No rush, we learn the more we socialize and it’s difficult to socialize!! Hang in there folks keep on keeping on and continuing on your life journeys 🫰

[ceceliaanneruehmann]

Following you makes me realize why I'm so exhausted at the end of the day.
I work with teens. And I have to choose the easy way sometimes. And I have to try and keep a straight face about it when it's physically uncomfortable for me to do so.

[enk]

EXACTLY. And so many people do things that make no logical sense! Like when a teacher punishes everybody for the actions of one. Not only is it not fair, it's nonsensical!

[petkamoravcikova]

Yep. I'd say the difference really comes down to flexibility.
Many people have the same ideas about justice and morality as I do - but they can bend those rules depending on the specific situation, and it's difficult for me to do that.
And sometimes my application of justice ends up socially unacceptable or outright hurtful.

[Vampirzaehnchen]

What makes it even worse are people who like keep telling you that you have some real issues going on and then go on exploiting said issues. For example the restaurant bill thing: "Oh just get over it, it's so much easier if we split even" and then they order more expensive stuff, knowing they won't have to pay all of it and if someone notices they can blame the rest of the group for being selfish. -.-

[akpopfamily]

I've been this way forever, but I'm also people pleaser, too. So it gets messy in my head. One thing is I hate lying. Even when I was in an act of addiction, I was completely honest with my family.

Now that I have been basically lying by masking and mirroring other people and wrong diagnoses I've been given and I now know I am AuDHD, I just can't hide it or mask/ mirror anymore because I know I'm lying. I just refuse to hide it.

My AuDHD Teen son, when he was in elementary school, was always correcting the teachers or advisors when something wasn't fair. I had to come to school many times and tried to explain to him, even when I didn't understand. It was very disruptive, usually 3 or 4 times a week, even a couple of times a day on difficult days.

[MoniqueBMOart]

Equal doesn’t mean fair all the time . Justice can be nuanced

[jamiegilbert]

As an autistic person, i also think its important to be flexiblem. As long as the people in your life dont show patterns of taking advantage of it, i think its part of a fair give and take in relationships

[gabrialsperka]

This... Speaks to me. On a cellular level.
I grew up being told that fair is fair, and things have to be fair or people are unhappy, so i always thought that it was my upbringing that caused me to be like this. Nowadays, i can barely stand my parents because very few of the things they decide on seem fair in my eyes, and it irritates me to no end. I cant even *begin* to count the number of arguments ive had with my dad over the years about how hes being unfair to specific sisters of mine, or to myself.
And, while it may not be a blessing (i very much consider my view that fair has to be *fair* as justified and correct, mind you), i am glad im not alone in this principle 😌
Its a relief to know that there are others who believe in the absolute system of fairness

[julianbigelow]

As an autistic person, the only thing that makes me angrier than falling victim of an injustice myself is seeing someone I barely know fall victim of an injustice.

[PaniWeganka]

I hate when someone acts like this, but i try to understand. But i really hate it and it makes me feel like this person hates me.

[jakubgrzybek]

I learned to ignore my justice system. But it also complicated more things and now i need to take a while to decide what neurotypical people would choose.