What High Performers Do That You Don't

In this video, we dive into the reasons why some people are high performers and how those lessons can help you in today's world.

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▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:15 - Are successful people narcissistic?
02:36 - The three cognitive parts of high performers
03:32 - Sociopathy
07:09 - Narcissism
10:00 - Neuroticism
14:00 - Do these 3 things
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All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.

[HealthyGamerGG]

What would you like us to make a video on for Mental Health May? reply to this comment with your suggestions & upvote the ones you like

[Ragamuffyn]

What separates the top 10% from the bottom 75%?

Answer: 15%.

[og]

I have very high conscientiousness and neuroticism - very successful, worked my whole life, top performer in my career. What helped me from being burnt out is finding a good boss that appreciates me.

[meltygear]

6:20 if you really think about it, procrastination is basically a focus on short-term compassion, except the target of the compassion is ourselves.

[vbj]

I think the other thing that separates "successful" people from those who struggle to achieve their goals is that they know when to let go with radical acceptance and move on. Instead of dwelling on what didn't go the way they wanted it to, they focus on the next opportunity and spend their precious time and mental energy on the possibilities.

[wpelfeta]

There is a boundary to being good. Don't get walked over. A lot of good people get taken advantage of. Being transactional with your time and effort is not a bad thing. Value yourself more!

[Sage-ssib]

The 3 traits top performers have:
- Sociopathy: sacrifice short-term compassion for long-term results
- Narcissism: know when to say no to others (which is equivalent to saying yes to yourself)
- Neuroticism: use the negative emotions as toxic fuel to change your environment and improve your circumstances, instead of trying to get rid of the negative emotions with copes like substances/drugs

[henrik.norberg]

As an autistic 51 years old man that has spent my whole life helping others and never getting anything for it, often not even a thanks, this hit home. 8 months ago I removed everyone from my life except my best friend and my ex girlfriends autistic daughter and I am feeling well and happy for the first time in my life. I didn't decide to stop helping others but to do lectures and coaching where I get paid. If I don't get anything back I only help once now. I wish I knew how to do this before I spent 50 years in hell where my "No" never was accepted.
I got a Schizoid Personality Disorder from it all so I don't even miss anyone at all, mostly living alone in the middle of the forest. Best thing I ever did, removing all leeches.

[dogetaxes]

I’ve noticed when it comes to “helping” or “fixing” people, it’s more common that that you get dragged down to someone’s level then actually lift that person up. Realistically only help people who are already want change and are making action towards that change. Short term compassion will often end with both parties drowning in the end.

[aaa]

i think a lot of times we get wrapped up in “analysis paralysis”, or sort-of anxious freeze in decisions as well. we need to encourage more gumption & actionable goals in ourselves & loved ones!

[Koyomix]

This is honestly the saddest Dr K comment section I’ve seen. High performer doesn’t mean billionaire or lucky. You have luck too, luck you can capitalize on. You don’t need to be ultra wealthy and a billionaire’s son to be successful. That view of success is a plague in society, find your own success, what makes you content. The first step is to begin action, however small. Complaining about luck is a trap that will separate you from actually being content. I’ve been down that road before and it only leads to misery. The fact that we can comment on a video full of knowledge makes us some of the luckiest people in the world. So what if someone is more lucky than you? They aren’t you so ignore them and do your own thing with your own luck.

Edit: Yes I agree that Dr K framed high performance poorly and yes I explicitly acknowledge that there is unfairness. My point is that you need to live with what you have, you can fight the broken system because it is broken and it is unfair but complaining isn’t fighting anything nor does it bring any benefits to you.

Edit round 2: Obviously luck plays a part in success I said that so many times in my comment. But also you can’t control luck, there’s literally nothing you can do about how you are born. I know this very well being born with a congenital condition. But since you can’t control it there’s no point in letting misfortune beat you up. My comment is saying that the only thing you can do is do the best with what you have.

Edit round 3: In hindsight the original comment is not a proper response. I do disagree with the video that these traits are something that should be emulated for material success. My real intention was to address people who seemed to only attribute success to material value and luck which unfortunately the video does promote material success rather than a personal success that can be achieved despite luck. This misunderstanding is completely on me for failing to articulate my feelings about the video and the comments.

[RemotHuman]

Summary
- action focused coping (negative situations or feelings lead to you taking action incl working harder)
- putting yourself above others + thinking long term

[uesdtosignin]

This remind me to the 7 deadly wins from Kevin Dutton’s books "The Wisdom of Psychopaths".
1.Fearlessness
2.Ruthlessness
3.Charm

4.Focus
5.Mental Toughness
6.Mindfulness
7.Action

[vyvianalcott]

Dr K you are so insightful and good at conveying complicated concepts. What's frustrating about listening to you is I didn't have anyone to tell me this stuff, I had to figure it out through a lifetime of suffering and failure. And here you are, just saying it. I love you for that, I don't want anyone else to go through what I have, but

[valdius]

What I like about this channel is that what I think he might talk about is rarely the case.

You make me think at things from the different perspective. Thank you.

[prettypuff]

I have worked with high success people in my medical career and honestly I have no desire to mold myself like them .
In the moment, “ managing their resources” usually means BRUTUALLY taking advantage of others.

[dragonct]

This is by far one of the best Dr.K videos I've watched in a long time. Literally was about to call a crisis line to just vent about all these problems, but this really helps me figure out where they're coming from. I used to be so ambitious and successful but burnt myself out, and got so incredibly lonely I got sucked into some really bad relationships. Here's hoping I can take back some of those helpful mindsets from my past ambitious happy self when I go back to school this fall!

[DrIthi]

Hesitation is defeat.

Absolutely correct. If we hesitate, we cannot move forward.

I have struggled with this so much. I have been guilt-tripped way too many times, and its only just now I've begun to to fix my life.

[Bestgamer-isgw]

What a revelation, this is exactly what my problem has been. I can think of so many examples in my life when I gave into short term compassion and made sacrifices for the sake of another. This has really opened my eyes

[Invoker-]

incredible advice. If someone sincerely tries to emulate these behaviours and leverage these powerful attitudes and motivators success is the natural outcome. But everything comes at a cost. To pay that cost is most often the hard part but once your desire and obsession is strong enough to pay the cost of being focused and cutting out distractions and enjoyments then u go on a upward trajectory.