You ALWAYS need to be THE GROWN UP in your narcissistic relationship

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
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They're grown-up children who throw tantrums to get their way.

sushmayen
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The narcissist will want to be the adult, while they treat you like a child. But this dynamic never ends well. They’re not responsible. They take no accountability for themselves. They’re a disaster waiting to happen.

NarcSurvivor
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This is why we’re so tired all the time. They’re actively, constantly and consistently fighting to make the relationship dynamic fail.

nopereradicator
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The narcissist in my life always said, “you treat me like a child”. My response, “stop acting like one”.

CO
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When you’re with a narcissist, it’s hard to tell if you’re their partner or babysitter. It’s exhausting when you’re the mature one in the relationship, and they’re stuck in a perpetual state of emotional immaturity.

OmniTarget
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I laughed at the "overgrown, toddler, adolescent, baby person" description. Very true.

stephaniet
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My narc ex bewildered my lawyer and the divorce mediator by trying to fight over Lego sets while I focused on the adult tasks like the refinancing of the house, ownership of our pets, and all of the responsible tasks. It was so validating to see them both shaking their head over his childish antics

clericoflight
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"Like being the only sober person in the room" - I have been in both these situations and they are very similar. You can't relax or fully be yourself, because you are essentially babysitting adults. Exhausting.

KathieMihindukulasuriya
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It’s exhausting being the responsible one, so I chose to be alone assuming all the responsibilities.

doreenm
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OMG, so Brilliant. Had to immediately watch twice. Validation x100! I'm speechless. "Responsibility without the Power", and this includes the many, many narcissists in my lifetime who zeroed in on my responsible nature and exploited it. No wonder we feel like we're going crazy. Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani, for putting the words to my suspicions that I am the one who painfully kept the trains running. No more Mommy Nice Guy.

moniquejackson
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100% fact! I got tired and resentful of being the adult and responsible one. I had already raised my children. I didn’t need one as a partner.

dk
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Total control, they utilize what they have and what you have without even batting an eye, they think what you are and have is there for them to use.

tarajo
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100% my childhood and my adulthood 😢 trying to heal and have the strength to break free.

rosiep
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My narcissistic ex once said in rage "Be a grown up!" I calmly responded "An adult should be able to control their emotions." She then stormed off.

blee
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Spot on as always, except only I get the aggressive side, everyone else gets the nice side.

OGRocker
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They want the power of a king, but the accountability of a child.

alaia-awakened
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“They have no capacity to do anything that’s helpful” YES. EXACTLY.

MrMasterDebate
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Even if you have the capacity and ability to do an adult repair or project, they will find a way to mess it up. They will blame you for THEIR mess up, too.
They don't want you to do anything that could possibly make THEM Look Bad in any way. If you begin in front of them or complete a project, they will say, " I was just going to do that, " or "Do YOU even know what you are doing?"
Every aspect of your inner self is questioned, berated, belittled and destroyed. I know this for a fact. I am rebuilding and I am stronger than ever before. I am also very mindful of my actions. I do not want to upset or unsettle things. This time, it is for my peace, my aspirations and my soul. 😊

KathySalcedoBeal
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This happened with my ex’s . I thought they were independent guys, only to find out they were super irresponsible, and so I had to take responsibility for things like working, driving, paying bills, trying to make healthy choices, and getting insurance things sorted, only to be overpowered controlled critisized minimized abused and gaslit by them. I was told I ‘emasculated’ them because I had to take responsibility for things they couldn’t do like pay our rent. Even with my family, I over sacrificed my life to help them with their issues, only to be criticized, judged, shamed, controlled, minimized, treated like a child, and gaslit by them too. Super messed up. Not believing the lies. I am a good mature healthy responsible person but am not responsible for them. So grateful for this community. Thank you Dr Ramani. ❤

costelloandlizzievolk
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My mother earned her bachelor's degree, but my step father wouldn't allow her to take a professional, well-paying, job because "it would put them in a higher tax bracket". 🙄 She worked a series of low paying jobs with no opportunity for advancement that worked for his schedule. In addition to working full time, she did 95% of the work around the house, including most of the mowing. He controlled the money, though, because he earned the majority of it. She had little say in how it was spent.

rebeccabryan