Caregiver Training: Sexually Inappropriate Behaviors | UCLA Alzheimer's and Dementia Care Program

The UCLA Alzheimer's and Dementia Care Video series provides viewers with practical tools you can use in a variety of settings to create a safe, comfortable environment both for the person with dementia and the caregiver.

[freebme]

Using a male caregiver for a male patient is the best solution.

[Madsassy]

Don't use terms like "sweetie" or "honey"! Call them by their name.

[vertstylus]

That is truly disturbing. To all caregivers going through this: keep your chin up, stay strong, don't tolerate that.

[snowballleeblue]

Do NOT call the patient “Honey” or “Sweetie, ” the video let’s us know this is an example of what NOT to do. So, I’m not adding anything to the discussion by reiterating this, yet I keep seeing it in the comments....I think folks may not have understood, or they didn’t watch the entire video before commenting.

[dreamhaven]

Um you are all aware that this is acting right? This is a hypothetical situation. Some of you are talking as if this is a real situation that was videotaped. Unless you take care of someone with dementia you have no idea how difficult it can be. My grandmother does not recognize people’s emotions and is relentlessly aggressive if she doesn’t get what she wants. We break emotionally all the time. We have had to change the locks on our bedroom doors because she figured out how to pick the locks. If she couldn’t get in she lashes out and yesterday turned on my bathroom sink, plugged the drain and walked away leaving six inches of water flooding my bathroom and causing ceiling damage. We had to buy refrigerators for our rooms to keep our food in because she can’t remember she has already eaten and would open every yogurt, drink, can, bag, you name it and eat $250 of groceries in the middle of the night. We are hostages in our own fucking home. I’m just saying you can do all the right things as far as not triggering them and making them upset or act inappropriate, but you are dealing with an eroding mind and they are not always going to respond correctly according to your supposedly correct wording.

[heidi]

Calling a sexually inappropriate man " hunny" and "sweety" might remind him if his wife or somthing. Shouldent say these names

[valerief]

It’s tough to not taking it personally, we know that the thought processes that control impulse are negatively impacted by dementia or Alzheimer’s. Even speaking firmly and authoritatively can trigger a response, such as anger or violence. But contact your employer immediately if you have one, because regardless the reason, no one should have to deal with sexual Harassment.

[bobjacobson]

Another option, if a male caregiver isn't available, is to bring in an older "female sergeant" type of woman who looks as if she can defend herself if necessary.

[kristis]

I would always sing “ what a friend we have in Jesus” when I had to change my father n law. I felt it kept his mind of God and not what was going on. I know it helped me get thru it

[mack]

My grandma man, if she did this stuff, I'd cry instantly. She shows so many signs of dementia

[dawnlapka]

This is very natural, just as the two educators said. When inappropriate behavior begins, walk away, just like she did in the first scenario. Being firm and redirecting as well as not encouraging the person is a very good idea. I was glad to receive this information today.

[squatking]

Nobody deserves to be a victim of sexual abuse, harassment, or rape. Defending one’s self from these activities is a human right.

[applejellypucci]

Honey and sweetie are NOT things you address a dementia patient by. You are the caregiver.

[suhcars]

Yeah, just give him another hot female caregiver. Genius.

[cinnamon]

I remember when I was in fourth grade and we had made blankets at school to give the patients at the nursing home. I went over to one man who was doing a horse jigsaw puzzle at a table. I handed him the blanket I made wrapped up in gift paper and the Christmas card I made. He was confused about the gift and tried to hand it back to me, and I had to explain that it was a gift. I then gave him the card that said “Merry Christmas” and he said “Marry Christine? My mom’s name is Christine.”. He then grabbed my face, looked at me, and said “Give me a kiss.” I was rather confused and shocked, and pulled my face away. It was an odd event, so I thought I might share it here.

[straberryshinigamig]

My grandpa was like this to me and very inappropriate with me. Because of this, I didn’t really feel sad when he died.

[mpaxton]

First quit calling him honey and sweetie! Give him his pjs and keep your distance.

[jessedekrossic]

2:53 always a smart move to change the subject. You can catch them off guard and they will snap out of it.

[fldp]

Just maybe he needs a male caregiver. Only makes since doesn't it? We have already addressed this in our living wills. We still want to keep our dignity.

[lauriekoppenaal]

I had a patient who was known for this type of behavior. He had to be assigned a male attendant because of prior issues. Unfortunately when the usual aide was on vacation, or out sick, females often had to fill in. Clothing didn’t change his behavior, nor did size or appearance. Apparently his only criteria was that you be female and have a pulse. It wasn’t clothing as we all wore uniforms. I would never used his first name. As soon as he propositioned me I told him very firmly I would call the supervising nurse for his case. I also told this person if he wanted his meals that day he must stop immediately or I would leave. Apparently breakfast and lunch were more important to the patient.