Keep It to YOURSELF!

If you want a better chance of achieving your wargaming goals in the coming year, there's one thing you should try.

[sweetandsaltyminx]

This article has left out the variable that I simply cannot shut up in gereral.

[steveharrison]

I’m going to put this into practice.

Damn.

I already messed up…

[TheDigitalThreat]

I keep my goals so secret, I even hide them from myself. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing!

[greendalf]

This is real. I constantly tell my friends that I'm going to do so-and-so Space Marine chapter. I get hyped on it, cocky, then I paint a guy or two, send it to them, only to realize later I don't like the colour scheme or something.

It's to the point where I annoy my friends more than anything.

I need to adopt this and just quietly figure out my projects and paint them. And when I meet the guys for games they can see what I've done.

[Viladin]

There's a line in Deadwood where Ian McShane's character tells the town doctor, "Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh, " and I think about it more than maybe any other line from a movie or TV show. I've struggled my whole life with the exact things you talk about here, including the guilt from "failing" to achieve what you said you would.

[idontwanttopickone]

0:58 - Impressive memory! I don't think I could remember all the stuff I painted 20 years ago! 😉

[archimedesd]

Yeah I stopped doing this a while a go.
These days I paint what I want when I want to. Especially with larger models I might get bored half way through and instead just move onto something else then go back to it later. This keeps it interesting and avoids as much burn out.

[TrippyTheShroom]

I feel like this is just good life advice in general, usually when you're really excited for something that excitement comes off as suffocating to your friends/family.

[BattleHardenedGames]

I appreciate the generalist advice beyond just gaming/painting content :)

[panimauser]

I have been doing 'keeping it to myself' bit for a few years now, and it really works.

It got to the point of me being reluctant to talk about plans even when people ask me. I am very susceptible to 'microdosing' from talking about plans, so I do not want to sabotage myself.

[napalmmachete]

oh man, feeling guilty about not reaching arbitrary goals I set myself when people ask about them hits hard

[rasmusolesen]

I find that sharing vague goals both prevent me from dopamine cheating and lowers the risk of burnout.
(agile vs waterfall)
This is also a huge problem in many industries, with managers or designers getting high on their own "creativity", and then quickly loosing interest in the project because they need their next fix.

[nathanwood]

I'm studying to be a personal trainer, and from a behavior modification perspective, what you said is *really* interesting. You are more likely to achieve a goal if the motivation for doing so is intrinsic (e.g. improved health/happiness) rather than extrinsic (e.g. the praise of your peers). It could be talking about your objectives with lots of people betrays an extrinsic motivation for completing the objective, which is already correlated with a higher rate of failure. Maybe extrinsic motivation is weaker *because* it promotes behavior which spikes dopamine prior to goal acquisition? That's as good a theory as any I've heard. Intriguing stuff. Thanks Uncle Atom!

[OneHandedHobby]

This is very real. I never told anyone I was looking at losing weight before I started and I was over halfway there. It’s been 10 years and I’ve kept off the weight. I wish you the best of luck!

[ComradeBozzey]

I love that this is being talked about. We live in such a society that is very superficial and no depth and to a degree misleading.

Ive recently start a rule of " work in the dark to serve the light " which sounds ominus, but its the same principle.

I work quietly in the background hobbying or gym etc. Then a few weeks later boom i turn up with a painted army or ive got a bit more muscle. People are kinda surprised because ive lost the gut and actually painted minis and made a change in myself.

The flipside is this. Outsiders perception of this sudden quiet progress can either be praise and support or jealousy or disbelief or envy. Which shows a persons colours and their own flaws.

Also its a daily thing to be consistent and aware of keeping things low key. You have to really stop urges to post or update or seek validation. The end goal os for yourself not from others. Again we live in a society that demands validation forgetting we only need to live for ourselfs and no one is ahead or behind because its not a race.

[metajock]

Very well said. This is especially important when you are surrounded by people who are nay-say'ers and busy bodies. This year I've seen a lot of people saying "Screw your resolutions, set realistic goals", and this goes right in with it. Been around too may who get off on being negative about what you're doing, or openly sabotage you under the guise of "helping", so this is an easy way around that problem.

[JeremyComans]

This certainly tees up with my anecdotal experience. Keep it to yourself until it becomes relevant to share, or you are firmly on your way (i.e., the habit that will lead to the goal is baked in).
A good thought process; If you have a far off big goal, what is the thing you need to do every day to achieve it? That's your real goal.
Obviously not everything is doable everyday, so the smallest thing you can do most frequently. Also on a firm schedule; 'every Sunday' is easier to make yourself set aside time for than 'twice a week', or something.

[ZubbaKon]

I have realized this a couple of years ago. To the point that whenever I catch myself starting to tell others about my goals I ask myself: how inportant is that goal to you? If I really want to achieve it, I force myself to shut up about it. Telling others about my goals absolutely ensures that they will fail 100% of the time. A silliness I have to work around. 😅

[Bomtaker]

I find this with any goal, the moment i tell people, i get constant questions about how its going. I realize they are just curious and are showing an interest in my goals, but for some weird reason when people ask me how its going or try to help motivate me to do well i tend to lose the motivation to do that thing, it becomes less of something i want to do and more like an obligation instead.

[Marshallo.o]

Totally agree with you! It reminds me of the phrase said by V.I.N.C.E.N.T., from the underrated Disneys Black Hole (a childhood fav from back in the day!). "There are three basic types, Mr. Pizer: the Wills, the Won'ts, and the Can'ts. The Wills accomplish everything, the Won'ts oppose everything, and the Can'ts won't try anything." I now tend to focus less on telling people and more on doing "stuff".