Film Reviews Are A Scam, So I Bribed Them

The Bull & The Crystal Merch:

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this video is about rotten tomatoes, movie reviews, a chad chad collab and some more things subscribe.

[Pinely]

Due to popular demand, you can now check out the full movie here

[kelseyshy]

The film adaptation totally removed the explanation of WHY the snakes survived the blowing up of the world. Can't believe how editors will take things out of the story to fit their clear bias against snakes wearing Kevlar

[intern_dana]

*"don't touch him, he's trying to find love on tinder* is so fucking good

[ArturGlass.C]

Putting a cardboard boom mic in a cardboard puppeteering movie is legitimately genius. That would have been a 10/10 review from me. I don't even care what the movie is about. If you do that shit you deserve all the fucking awards. It's meta, it's funny, it's satirical. It's brilliant.

[savoryovary]

PLEASE keep making your brother’s movies. i unironically love them. they’re so chaotic, unhinged, and hilarious.

[leadisterrible]

Genuinly disgusting they charge that much and used chat gpt

[cupcakesoup]

"Don't touch him, he is trying to find love" may be the cutest sentiment I've ever heard to persuade a villain. I would watch any films by Little Pinely, he's 2 for 2 so far

[FabricFool]

Snail email. That is a funny funny joke. You sure that’s an 11-year old kid? Does he understand the layers of why that’s funny?
Brilliant.

[kkuudandere]

"more ground zero than ground breaking" is my new favorite insult, that's spicy

[HyLion]

While the first reviewer obviously didn't actually think the movie was a 3/5, I strangely believe everything they had to say about what they thought of it. They were about as brutally honest as a paid review can be

[Taz_Davies]

Babe wake up, Pinely's brother wrote another Oscar worthy masterpiece

[PsychicImpala]

the boom mic bit killed me way more than it should have 😭

[Eve.v]

the first review was absolutely iconic; the 3/5 is so at odds with the honesty of the review it's genuinely hilarious. AND OPENING WITH THE HISTORY OF CARTOONS (you KNOW they had a word count they needed to reach) -- im so glad they did though bc of the quote you got to have on the movie poster. i love it. it's Such an energy

[Bradinator]

I can imagine the guy in the first rating having an absolute blast writing that review

[groofay]

There's greater need for this movie than a live-action Moana remake. Come on Disney, you goddamn cowards.

[MegaCelacanto]

I genuinely want Tiny Pinely to grow up to be one of the biggest names in moviemaking now. I know he can do it, i se his talent, i believe in you, Tiny Pinely.


Or, yknow, something completely different, whatever he wants, I'm just some random stranger.

[southparkfirefly]

The first review was a very honest review and I think they actually liked the movie, which makes sense because it WAS actually charming.

[crocodillian]

Lady snail being the snake king is the best twist in all of cinema

[cicadathegod]

I love when big time directors such as mini Pinely collaborates with his lesser known brother Pinely and Chad Chad. If it wasn’t for him, we never would have known about these small-time YouTubers.

[timenotime]

Kid stories are actually enjoyable because there's so much creativity and imagination, I'm always impressed