Why It's So Important to Talk About Your Feelings

Healthy Gamer Coaches have helped more than 10,000 people across the internet with proven outcomes.

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #feelings

[xiola]

Great advice but IMO misses the most important part: you have to be willing to ACCEPT any answer you get, and not get weird or feel attacked if it's not the answer you're looking for.

[shezario]

Approved by 33 years of experience. It was always the best decision, didnt regret it once. It either lead to a healthier friendship afterwards or some of the best relationships Ive started.

[rotsu]

My boyfriend did the same thing. We met through a mutual friend's dnd campaign and we started talking on the side for a couple of weeks. I knew i was catching feelings and decided to suppress them so it wouldnt be awkward, but one day my guy just out of the blue said, "okay, straight up, i think youre cute and i really like you. do you feel the same way?"

he said that the moment he realized he began developing those feelings, and decided to act on it to see if he should work on moving on or otherwise. reaaaally saved us the song and dance that consists of pining and all that. oh, and he's the one that introduced me to healthygamer which was a solid bonus lmao

[MsDragontooth]

Important to note: don't go in this conversation with expectations. That's unfair and hinders the dialogue

[Sussyphis]

I literally did that yesterday night lmao, talked it all out we laughed about it and stuff at the end we decided to stay friends cuz she didnt feel the same way for me, it wouldv hurt more if i hadnt confronted my feelings for her

[sazonada]

I'm a woman. If someone came to me like this, focusing on communication and hearing where I'm at, I am going to see that this is a great foundation for a relationship.

And if I'm not interested in them and they still value me as a friend, great friendship.

[socialdeviant]

As the recipient of said feelings from a friend, this is wonderful. I had a friend do this. We had a conversation, I explained that I don't feel the same way, and asked if I needed to back off of the physical affection to help him handle his feelings. He said no. Years later, I asked him out. He was one of the few people who respected my boundaries, and we're coming up on 11 years together at the end of this month.

[waitin--a-m]

This is the most mature thing i've ever heard in terms of approaching romantic relationships. The fact that Dr K had to spell it out for us really says something about how we were raised to talk about our feelings.

I never even thought about how feelings can be talked about in a straightforward way and not something that should be mysterious

[BitterTast]

I received the message all my life that my feelings only matter if I keep them to myself. Otherwise I’m seen as dangerous. Once I started paying attention to my emotions, it became abundantly clear why I was raised NOT to pay attention to them. People wanted me to be safe “good” little boy.

[dmrfnk]

Worst thing to do is to just keep on dreaming and pretending to be friends, sending mixed signals and hoping for romance to appear out of thin air. Once that dam bursts you'll feel like total crap for the longest of times and your friendship has a much lesser chance of going on.

[killgoretrout]

this is wonderful advice.

if I have feelings for you back or if I’m interested in starting our relationship, then we can jump into it.

if I don’t have the feelings back, I still respect the hell out of you for wanting to have an open and honest dialogue, and being honest about your feelings. I still want to be your friend

if you think that, continuing to be my friend while having these romantic feelings are causing you pain, then it’s OK for you to take a step back from our friendship. unrequited, romantic feelings will pass and I’ll be happy to welcome you back into my life whenever you are ready.
:)

this is from experience. IVE BEEN THERE

[DJaydoubleA]

What a lot of guys don’t understand is that so many guys “being friendly” act deceptively towards girls, especially pretty girls that have guys always trying to get something from her.

You need to realize that her apprehension does NOT relate to you as a person and what you have to offer. They’re used to friendships being build on the idea that the girl can be swooned, and many men will be bitter about unrequited love. It’s hard but just being upfront and honest (with yourself as well if you even like this girl as a person or only a conquest) will make you more respectable.
Don’t use people.

[hanguyenthu]

Basically, just do what friends do: ask for advice. And since this is their advice, it should work pretty well

[seagullofficial]

My friend did exactly this and it didn’t feel weird or uncomfortable. I had to think about it for awhile because I didnt see him that way. He’s now been my boyfriend for a long time and I couldn’t be happier.

[hereandnow]

This is so accurate. Being friends with someone for a long period of time and having unrequited feelings for them is miserable. Don't do it guys. I would rather oil my body with vinegar and use a cactus as a stripper pole than ever wind up in the mindset to be in that kind of situation again. It's so much easier to let go once you express your feelings especially early on and then you don't have all these weird feelings of jealousy over if they are interested in someone else. Next time you are afraid of telling your crush your feelings, think back to the last time you found out your friend you were secretly in love with ended up with someone else. Getting rejected early on feels like a day trip to the spa compared to seeing someone you secretly love get into another relationship. It also can lead to wonderful friendships where you can relax and not be on edge about guarding your feelings. Overall, the low chance of reward is not worth the high risk of painful consequences for you and the other person.

[thegrandarmy]

Did this literally 2 days ago. Don’t regret doing it even though she doesn’t feel the same way, it’ll make things much easier moving forward. However, even though we’d been friends for almost a year she was still a fairly mean about it. She even gave away more than she was intending about her relationship with a mutual friend and that kinda stung a bit. Whole thing was honestly kinda brutal.

[benjiboy]

Easiest way to avoid the friend zone, or at least that really terrible feeling that you’re in the friend zone. The best thing you can do for yourself is to make those feelings known before that become strong enough that rejection is genuinely heartbreaking.

[dzzzzzt]

How I wish people were this mature and open to this kind of communication.. Both of them have to be, not only the one who has the feelings.

[j.p.]

I agree with doc. I'm 27yo woman and I had a friend for 2 years. I didn't like him romantically so I kept a healthy distance and he probably understood and decided to be my friend cuz I'm very loyal and I'm always there for my friends. At one point I developed feelings for him and couldn't hide it, cuz I started acting a bit weird, like tryin not to look at his eyes, blushing, getting nervous. I started chatting with him everyday and one night after a walk I hugged him very tightly and longer than usually. I think he got confused cuz he didn't say anything. Then I rushed back home embarrassed and didn't give him time to process what just happened. He got home 10km away from my apartment. We live in the same city. I felt like the stupidest person on the planet for showing my feelings and maybe fckin up a very important friendship but I decided to ask him in our chat if he did realise what that hug meant. He then told me he really wanted to see me again the same night and to talk about these things face to face and came back with his car. It was 2am at this point. When he came he confessed that he liked me since day one and asked if he can kiss me and we kissed. And now we are in a relationship for alsmost 3 months and things are going great! I feel no regrets. If he didn't like me back I guess I'd let my feelings die and still be friends with him cuz he is an amazing human.

[HiDibakar]

In the past, I've done exactly this. Initially she was not giving a clear answer. Tried to avoid it for a year. Then later clarified she was not ready for a long distance relationship since we stayed in different cities. I had to distance myself from her because the feelings were coming in between whenever she'd say she was dating other people. The torture was not worth it. But till date I can text her and she'd reply instantly. No hard feelings. I understand what she said made complete sense