The Brutal Truth: Why You're Stuck in the Friend Zone

In this video, I sit down with my co host Adam Lane Smith (Attachment Specialist) to tackle one of the most frustrating and misunderstood aspects of modern dating: Why do so many men end up in the dreaded 'friend zone'? This is not your average, sugar-coated relationship advice. I'm here to give it to you straight – the raw, unfiltered truth.

This video is a wake-up call for anyone who's tired of hearing the same old advice and is ready for a raw, unfiltered perspective. Here's what we're convering:

A candid look at the friend zone phenomenon.
How your own insecurities might be sabotaging your love life.
The dangers of needing constant validation.
How too much or too little space can ruin potential romance.
Why too much early affection often kills attraction.
The "Too Nice" Syndrome
Confidence is Sexy
How certain behaviors completely annihilate sexual desire
  
Give the video a Thumbs Up if you liked it, there’s more coming. 

This is a clip from the I Wish You Knew podcast that I co-host with my friend and Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith where we bring on world experts and dive deep into relationships, modern dating, gender dynamics, and more. 

Want to work 1:1 and master your love life? 

I look forward to working with you. 

Building on over a decade of private coaching experience, this online video course tackles the root causes of painful and often toxic relationship patterns.

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[sarahdawnmoore]

Watch Episode 4 - Those Dating Games You Shouldn’t Play - Ep 4 | I Wish You Knew Podcast

[Green__one]

A conversation that I will always remember from my past: "why can't I find someone just like you?" ... "I'm right here."... "Oh no, you're too much of a friend!"
I always thought the hypocrisy was a little astounding. She had a knack for picking absolutely horrible men, and then when it didn't work out she always said she wanted someone exactly like me, but apparently not actually me.

[davidz]

Many other things often put a man in the friendzone. In most cases it's about lacking something, such as height, looks, athleticism, wealth, status, charm or charisma. You're both saying that he does something to end her attraction to him, but in most cases she's never attracted to him.

[somethingsomethingsomethingdar]

I love how disparaging they are of men who do this as if they are stupid and weak. They are usually men who have been told by their mothers to be this or that with women. It isn’t until you’ve been burned and you talk to successful men that you realize you have to flush all of that motherly advice down the drain….

[jamesga]

I don’t think that’s really what the friend zone is. You can be somebody’s friend and that is one thing. You can be their partner and that’s another thing. But to be in the friend zone is more of a person that’s kind of kept on the periphery, for the value that they can give outside of the sexual realm. So they’re there as a back up when other friends aren’t available, when you’re feeling down, when maybe you want a little special treat, and you want someone to buy it for you… There’s a huge difference between a guy in the friend zone and a guy who is a friend.

[whiteknight]

I don't get stuck in the friend zone because I generally don't befriend women unless it's going to be romantic, or they impress me enough with their character or interests. In fact I actively avoid almost all of them. Men would do well to be the same..

[byteme]

In my younger days, I was often relegated to the friend zone because I was never a Chad or a Tyrone. When I grew older and it became much easier to meet women, I wasn’t interested in the women who chased the Chads and Tyrone’s and now have a high body count and lots of baggage.

[psalms_]

God is the only one that can fill this void of love we seak from others. You wonder why you're alone and miserable you try to fill things in your heart that wasn't supposed to be there.

[davidz]

In very few cases do friendzoners treat friendzonees are their sons. If they did, they'd care about them. They'd be protective towards them & give them good advice.

[ChrisSnell-dm]

I've been in the Friend Zone for these past 15 years, and on a thousand first dates. I understand boundaries well enough to teach. Confidence is not an issue, for the places of my strengths. So I will tell her that I'm a "home-body", and the first thing she wants is a trip to the other side of the world. "Not in my confidence", so where do I end up!!?? The next one wants me to quit what I'm good at (and I already make more than she), because I'm not making enough for her. Again, something outside of my confidence. Terrible listening skills, or they want to change me.
WOMEN WANT WHAT THEY CAN'T HAVE!!! OR ME TO GIVE WHAT THEY CAN'T GIVE. "The Friend Zone is another branch for women".

[taridean]

The best way I've found to avoid being friendzoned is to ask out the woman I like on a date right off the bat, not waste time befriending her first. If she says "Not ready to date, but lets be friends", that tells me straight away that she's not into me. I take it on the chin, politely decline and move on. How did I come to that conclusion...I've dated women that were interested. They will bypass the "lets be friends" bit at supersonic speed. Simple

[suggesttwo]

So go for the low Hanging fruits instead of focusing on the one your heart loves.
Brilliant!

[marathoner]

Friend zone? Or Fools Zone? If you're friend zoned, walk away. If you stay, you're a fool. End of story.

[gpj]

Once you step up from a friendship into relationship - there's no turning back. If things don't work out in the relationship that friendship is ruined forever, in most cases. Very often both partners regret that step up and wish it'd just remain on that lower level.

[LARGO]

So the "brutal truth" is women do no wrong and men do no right... got it.

[cniht]

"The Friend Zone" is just what happens when a woman has figured out she can do next to nothing, and STILL get the Time, Effort, or Resources of a specific man. Men just have to be up front to these women about what they want, tell them to buzz off when they play games, and then they need to go find women that are actually worth their time.

When there is a Friend Zone situation, the man absolutely is not being forthright because he's usually fearing rejection. However, the woman is THE primary bad actor. She knows exactly what she is doing, fleecing a 'nice guy'.

[jesvans]

a guy is friend zone because he allows himself to be. so, act interested in her, if she doesn't buy you, walk away. its that simple.

[ronaldhelman]

Many times I've wished Patrice O'Neal was still alive, him debating her would've been epic and far more informative, RIP legend.

[johnbreitmeier]

Well that is just rubbish. Sara as usual is clueless. COULD those behaviors end in friendzoning? Maybe, but that is NOT what usually gets you Friend zoned. What does that is simply that she thinks she can do better but she likes the attention you are giving her. You are free attention she does not have to pay for. You are everything she SAYS she wants or she would not hang with you, BUT you are not dangerous and exciting enough. She wants either the Bad Boy or the HIgh Value man, neither of which is good for her or will stay with her. Oh Well!

[mathius_dragoon]

The problem is that women think the friend zone is and what men actually mean when they use that term are two completely different things. Women don't see it as a problem because it doesn't happen to *them*.