Planning to reduce stress anxiety and burnout

It's easy to get overloaded with life. There are so many things that cause stress and anxiety. Planning is one way that we can reduce a significant amount of these factors. In this video I'll share a strategy I use to make sure I stay within my own limits of what I can 'cope' with, without getting (staying) overwhelmed or burning out.

CHANNEL LINKS:
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// WELCOME TO ASPERGERS FROM THE INSIDE!!

My name is Paul and I discovered I have Aspergers at age 30.

Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this blog, because if I didn't show you, you would never know.

As the name suggests, this channel is devoted to giving you insight into the world of Aspergers.
This blog started off being just my story, but I've learned SO MUCH about my own condition
from meeting others on the Autism Spectrum that now I make sure to feature their stories as well.

I've come a long way in my own personal journey.
Now I'm sharing what I've found so you don't have to learn it the hard way too.

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// WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG

You can expect me to get to the point with concise useful information.
I focus on what is most important and don't shy away from difficult topics.

The best way to learn about Autism is to see it in real life ( i.e. via the stories of many, many people on the spectrum).

In this channel I endeavour to show you what Autism and Aspergers look like in real people and to also give you some insight as to what's happening on the inside.
I upload a new video every weekend with some bonus content thrown in mid-week too.
There's always new stuff coming through so be sure to check back and see what you've missed. (Is this where I'm supposed to tell you to hit that subscribe button?)

Topics Include:
- What is Aspergers/Autism?
- Aspie Tips, coping strategies, and advice on common issues
- Learning Emotional Intelligence (this is my special interest!)
- Autism in real life: stories from special guests

Everything I do is and endeavour to go deeper and take you 'behind the scenes' to understand what may, at first glance, seem 'odd'.
oh, and I love busting stereotypes and turning preconceptions upsidedown :)

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// ABOUT ME

I discovered I have aspergers at the age of thrity.
It has been my life's mission to understand these funny creatures we call humans.
My special interest is a combination of emotional intelligence, psychology, neuroscience, thinking styles, behaviour, and motivation. (I.e. what makes people tick)
My background is in engineering and I see the world in systems to be analysed.
My passion is for taking the incredibly complex, deciphering the pattern, and explaining it very simply.
My philosophy is that blogging is an adventure best shared.

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// EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TRAINING

I also run autism friendly online emotional intelligence training. So if you like my direct, systematic style, and would like to improve your own emotional intelligence skills, check it out here:

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// CONTACT

Blogging is an adventure best shared which means I'd love to hear from you!
Feel free to leave me a comment or send me and email at any time and I'll do my best to respond promptly.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this channel!
I look forward to hearing from you!

Peace,

~Paul

[Aiken]

Sometimes being overwhelmed turns into not getting anything done. There are things I want to do but just can’t push myself to do them, if I do I crash.

[MrAtheistQueen]

"Today's trouble is enough for today." What a GREAT quote!

[Deadsea_]

I definitely need this. I work as a supervisor on third shift for a car factory. I have to balance a lot out like cleaning the house, getting stuff done during the day, working hard non-stop, paying bills, food, maintaining car, etc. I really have to push myself a lot and that's easier said than done.

[andrewmilo]

i've been seeing psychologists/psychiatrists for 15 years, and they all missed the Aspergers. It was pointed out to me 5 years ago. I mentioned it to a new psychologist 2½ years ago, and she said I am not autistic. I was listing autistic symptoms for almost 2 years and she was always dismissive because she became biased. I finally realised why yesterday, so in today session I said.

You see me in a setting where I am very comfortable, talking about a topics I know very well. The people who pointed it out saw me in settings like work and socially where it was a problem, and I can tell you it has also caused problems in relationships too. She saw the logic in that, and will bring the diagnostic manual to the next session.

[beknight]

I need this so much! My anxiety is actually worse than ever before. Anxiety and other traits, fighting against this problems in allday life causes burnout an therefore more anxiety etc. My current situation.
English is not my first language, but this is such a creative, helpful, kind and validating community and I'm so happy I found this channel :-)

[grassgeese]

It kinda hurts how good it feels to hear you put words to the feelings I've been feeling. Thank you so so much

[LegendoftheGalacticHero]

I was talking about with my friend, how I need to commit to either doing some work even if it’s not much or commit to resting if I decide to rest, but actually do it and enjoy it so I achieve the purpose of doing what I’m doing. If you don’t do as much as you hoped, you still did some and progressed, if you decide to rest you enjoy it and disconnect and make the rest count.

[claribest]

Thanks Paul. I discovered lately that time seems to last longer when I do the things slowly. My analogy : when I stretch a rubber too fast regarding its elasticity, it breaks, whereas when I extend it slowly, it stays ok.
Have everybody a nice day

[brunoboaz]

Thank you Paul for speaking on this issue that is common to most of us, I imagine. Your presentation was spot on as well!

[Steph]

This must be one of the most spot on analogies to have been spoken 🤯

[draco]

Definitely need as I am dealing with setting healthy communication guidelines for all of my interpersonal relationships, and being newly diagnosed having to breakdown old preconceptions about how I am.

[BullScrapPracEff]

You kind of nailed it. Especially when you are your own boss. It's hard to not go all out on something for a day or two then not have the umph to finish or continue.

[tiddlypom]

Ooh hanging out for this! Doing everything I can at the moment to manage anxiety and stress and keep my job.
A big step has been to try to match my expectations to reality - rather than the usual "you can do anything that you put your mind to" message. I've been watching the HealthyGamerGG channel's streams on the burden of potential and expectations, and that's been really helpful.

[Ludifant]

I don't know if this helps anyone, but my rule of thumb is: the higher the stress (or workload) the shorter the "now". Now for me means the amount of past and future I take into consideration. The shortest now I have is listening to speach where I just remember the last word. I don't actually follow what is being said per se. I listen to the rithm, silences between words etc. The longest is probably my ten year plan or thinking about childhood trauma. I only go there when I can. But when I start to feel tension, I shoryen my now. Thoughts popping up about things outside that now, I just don't follow. I don't resent them, just ignore as much as possible. In stressful periods I get up at 6, cause I worry myself awake. These days it can take me up till noon to reduce my now. So I am not saying it is easy, just that at least I get to be somewhat less stressed or sometimes even productive from noon to bedtime even at the worst of times. And usually if I manage that, the next morning is easier and I start to recover. I give myself a couple of days doing the bare minimum to stay alive if I know a stressful event is coming.

[frankie]

Your timing with this is uncanny. In my new job for the past few weeks, I've been wondering to myself (and to some family/friends) "How on earth do you know when you've done enough work for the day". I got chills at 8:50 when you asked "When is it enough... when is anything enough".

[reggiep]

I totally understand this having been overloaded with stress and anxiety at old jobs and all cos of other peoples demands. If I only had my own work to deal with, things would be perfectly okay but I had to sort things out for other people and they'd just appear when they wanted and demand things.

[angelabertrand]

This is so relatable....I am always feeling burnt out so I get less done and then feel worse....I will try simplifying my schedule and don't pile too much on in each day (as I tend to do) so that I feel accomplished enough to rest at night....thank you!

[lazersword]

I want to say thanks for helping me find myself.

I had a confrontation with my boss today. I took time to analyze what happened when I got home and realized I had misinterpreted the situation. Thanks to my new frame of mind I was able to explain myself to my boss. I had already told him that I was on the spectrum and I think that helped get us back on the same page. Goodbye extra anxiety 👋

[peterwynn]

My way of coping with stress is to say to others, "Look, I appreciate your concern, but you worry about you, and I'll worry about me." For example, yesterday, I had to see my gastroenterologist (one and a half hour drive there, half hour appointment, one and a half hour drive home), and I had my shave the night before, and had planned what clothes I'd wear, so, I woke up and had my shower, put out the wheelie bins, came inside and had breakfast, unloaded the dishwasher. As I was unloading the dishwasher, my father kept trying to get me to leave it. (Four years earlier, my mother asked me to help him do it, and when he came out, he was amazed that I had done it all in around two minutes). Okay, he didn't want me to be late, but he was causing anxiety by not just letting me do it and realising that I had an eye on the time. A truck had broken down on the motorway, and that caused one lane to be closed. I kept calm, but unfortunately, the car radio has an intermittent fault and it doesn't work, so that calming option wasn't available. I haven't yet got window tinting, so I had broad-brimmed hat on, which helped a little. One of my rituals, as I return, is to stop at a petrol station, and refuel the car and have a cup of tea. My mother thinks they're wussy and wrong things to do. I say, to everybody their own and on a drive like that, you tend to feel a bit tired on the way home, so a cup of tea or coffee is a good revival strategy. It also helps with burnout. As you can think, "On the way there, you have to be there at a certain time, but on the way back, you can relax a little more."

[tiddlypom]

3:38 “And I don’t even have the mental bandwidth to think about it logically and reign in this crazy, anxiety-driven prediction of the future to what is actually likely to happen in reality.”

This is such an important point! When emotional regulation is one of the things you're juggling, you need to remember to factor it in.

So the emotional regulation tip, to specifically identify and "put words to emotions" is really useful - but also increasingly challenging as we get more stressed. For me, my ability to name things - anything, not just emotions - deteriorates proportional to stress. So I think for me, that implies that:
a) it's really important to manage stress before it gets that bad
b) I need some help from other people - there's a point beyond which I'm not going to be able to manage it by myself
c) sometimes it's all just going to fall over - I'll try to prevent that, but I could use some strategies for when it happens