“I thought he was the problem… but it’s me?!”

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Evelyn and Mike (41) live on stage from the House of Blues in Chicago.

They’re on their way to a net worth of $7 million—but despite their success, money is a constant source of tension. Evelyn scrutinizes every purchase, while Mike feels frustrated by the endless debates over small expenses. Can Evelyn let go of her scarcity mindset and start trusting their financial future?

Plus, stay tuned for a surprise visit from one of the past guests of Netflix’s How To Get Rich.

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[ramitsethi]

Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

[cluelessxbelle]

My therapist told me that constant criticism is a form of abuse and it's stuck with me. I used to hide behind that I was cautious, analytical, and needed things done right. But it's still unfair to the other person.

[DailyRants]

I was in attendance for this live show in Chicago. It was definitely eye opening that money does not solve everything if your foundation isn't strong. I hope they get the marriage counseling they need because it was clear from the audience looking in that Evelyn really needed to work on herself for the sake of their marriage. I commend both of them for sharing their story on stage in front of thousands of people.

[ligiaonofrei]

I am so impressed by the willingness of the people on stage to be so open and vulnerable- I really appreciate it. It speaks also to Ramit's abilities to be genuinely helpful and nonjudgemental. It takes a lot on both sides to create these moments and I really appreciate all that goes into it.

[bradman]

Its kind of fascinating how people leverage humor to avoid directly addressing their feelings/problems

[jenbar]

Ended up being a good episode, but I was getting second-hand embarrassment from the constant jokes/put-downs. Evelyn sounded like she was trying to a stand-up routine for the audience, not discuss finances. I’m glad Ramit nicely called her out for deflecting with humor and she did seem to back off a bit. I’m sure it’s nerve-wracking to be on stage, which is why I don’t like the live episodes. I cringe at the “playing to the audience” nature of the live shows.

[zacharyvalenter]

This dude seems kind of cool. Very normal. Sometimes the person constantly calling at problems and attacking someone is the problem themselves.

[ambersamusements]

Didn’t want to humiliate her father who wasn’t sitting next to her but incessantly tries to humiliate her husband who is. Wow.

[albshel]

It's so fascinating to see someone who never had to worry about money ever in life still have so much anxiety around money.

[Capycorg]

Some context on the Minnesota State Fair: it's once a year. Spending $100 on fried food for ONE day a year is so not a big deal on their income.

[Wildberry_Cottage]

I appreciate that this couple came on the show and openly talked about their financial and marriage problems. They both seem like really good people but the wife is low-key mean and the husband tries to escape by going fishing. Hoping the best for them both.

[albshel]

"Expectations are resentments in training" is a word.

[Akilahh]

This was a great episode, thank you to this couple for participating in such a vulnerable format and still being so reflective yet entertaining! This conversation seemed very valuable

[justwatchclip]

Evelyn's follow up was one of the best I've seen in terms of her takeaways. Incredible presence of mind to get up there, have things go so differently from your expectations, and come away from it not feeling attacked, but inspired. I wish them well

[sdl]

She was able to reflect on the learning from the experience and they are actively working on their marriage. Kudos to Remit for helping them!

[ittakesapair]

I LOVE this!!! Still watching, but I see old parts of myself in Evelyn. The criticism coming from a superiority complex…the religious influence, etc. LOVED Ramit calling it out. It’s so real!❤

[jessicalocke]

it's easy to hate on Evelyn based on how she behaved towards Mike, but she's miles ahead of a lot of couples in a similar situation by taking a hard look at herself and realizing that her criticism towards Mike, her worries are actually a reflection of herself, and not him. She's holding on to her frugality like a virtue instead of facing the uncomfortable reality that they do have money. I'm rooting for this couple and I hope she participates more in the finances so that they can be a team and live their rich life.

[MylesHSG]

She's kinda mean to him no wonder the man wants to go fishing.

Let 👏 Mike 👏 Fish

[lil_beethang]

These are SOOOO fucking HELPFUL! Ramit saving the common folk, podcast, and a book at a time. LOVE YOU!!!

[thewriteplaceforme]

Excellent follow ups! Especially nice to see Drew and Mikey happy and confident in each other and their finances!
For Evelyn and Mike, I think this evening was a wake up call to both of them. The pattern of complaints about relatively small purchases with emotional stonewalling as a response is not healthy, but clearly a comfortable pattern. How else would they communicate?
The red flag for me is that Evelyn grew up in silicon valley and didn't know what her dad did for a job while her mom stayed at home with nice things around. It sounds precarious, even if everything was provided for her. She sounds like she feels vulnerable and that if she doesn't spend small everything could disappear in a flash. Mike isn't making her feel safe - or can't because of himself or that she won't see it anyway - by acknowledging her needs, running after money, spending as little as possible for the sake of virtue. None of that will work anyway because Evelyn needs to make herself feel safe.
Maybe a page from faith could help? The world was not created for you so that it can chew you up and spit you out. Count your blessings.
I hope they get on the same page, and I wish them well!