Has Your Wife Diagnosed You As Autistic...Yet? | The Happy Wife School Show Ep. 44

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*Disclaimer:* The views and perspectives on relationships that are expressed in my videos and courses are meant for women married to good men and good men who are experiencing relationship issues within a range of behaviors that are common and usual – what you might reasonably expect your neighbors or friends to be going through behind closed doors. My message is not for aggressive, violent, or compulsive behaviors in a marriage or relationship that are threatening or dangerous. If you are experiencing such behaviors and/or physical abuse, you should seek a licensed mental health professional who is trained in dealing with domestic abuse.

Karyn Seitz and The Happy Wife School are not engaged in the practice of psychotherapy, clinical counseling, or any medical practice. You should not interpret any part of my videos as traditional psychological, medical, or emotional therapy. Karyn Seitz is not a licensed health professional. You should seek help for any specific psychological, medical, or emotional problems with a mental health professional or qualified physician.

Timestamps:

0:00 Welcome
3:20 Topic Introduction
5:50 What Men Need to Know
15:30 Neurodivergent vs. Neurotypical for Men and Women
19:15 5 Ways Your Wife Might Diagnose You As Neurodivergent
31:35 The Solution for Women
38:53 The Solution for Men
40:58 Questions and Comments

[thehappywifeschool]

Video Timestamps:

0:00 Welcome
3:20 Topic Introduction
5:50 What Men Need to Know
15:30 Neurodivergent vs. Neurotypical for Men and Women
19:15 5 Ways Your Wife Might Diagnose You As Neurodivergent
31:35 The Solution for Women
38:53 The Solution for Men
40:58 Questions and Comments

[thehappywifeschool]

@MemphisBBQ, great statement from the chat today: "To a man, the problem is the problem. To a woman, how she FEELS about the problem is the problem." Bingo.

[whitetuberose]

I’ve never heard of this until recently, I met a neighbor down the street. She described her husband several times as autistic (which I thought was rude to divulge personal medical info). Then he came out and acted totally normal- no helmet made eye contact smiled and made his own burrito. Go figure.

[alphalifestyleacademy]

14:21 I am dyslexic, AHDH when someone who was supposed to help us told my wife I had a mental disorder and later she used that as a reason to leave me.

[TerryWilliamson]

😂, I literally just read the title and was like yip. You are so spot on with everything you say in your videos, going to listen to this one now.

[vicetube]

She wouldn't diagnose with such audacity around Chad.

[rachelw]

I loved your story about the concert, that you recognized the "fun police" reaction and were able to choose otherwise. What a great blessing to your husband on his special occasion! It's really encouraging to know that the more I learn about these tendencies, the more power I have to avoid them.... thank you! :)

[martinf]

They say you should find what you’re good at and do that for a living. My ex was a psycho so she became a psychologist.

She insisted I had an anger management problem and browbeat me into getting tested.

After a full battery of tests, the psychiatrist giving the test looked me right in the eye and said “You don’t have an anger management problem, you have a marital problem!”

They will never look inward. It’s always someone else’s fault.

[PMrighteous]

Here’s another aspect to psyco analyzing. She’s not only telling me that I’m autistic and on the spectrum, but that my children are, but she’s also saying that she is autistic and on the spectrum. After listening to your podcast, I now realize the reason why she’s labeling herself autistic, so that she can stay in camp victim, and use that diagnosis as an excuse for her behaviors compulsively working on projects, not coming to bed at night till 3 o’clock in the morning, avoiding me intimately, and so on. The irony is that a woman children’s pastor at our church believes that she herself is autistic and made my wife believe that she is autistic as well. I understand, you probably saved my life from not falling deeper into depression to the point of not wanting to live anymore. That’s where I’ve been, this podcast brought me a little bit out, thank you so much.

[opa-age]

Hey same thing happened to me my wife kept saying I was the one with psychological issues while she insisted she is 100% normal

[lukenielsen]

Thanks for another great episode. Keep 'em coming!

[RPMentorTokyoChannel]

One thing I'll mention here is that men shouldn't consider themselves as less masculine even if they are autistic. If you look at research on this, it is considered the extreme male brain, so by that logic, you would be more masculine. This is also why the behaviors characteristic of autism will commonly match men. I did the testing for this, and by it, I did fall somewhere within the range for having this condition. Looking at other research, I also came to the conclusion that men would actually do a lot better with women on the higher end of the spectrum.

[SALTYCOMBATDIVER-ExInstructor]

Dr Alan Penn from my university, back when I was studying undergraduate, warned us as we start abnormal psychology that we all would question if we had one of the abnormal behaviors/conditions we studied and only if we didn't we were normal. He said those who don't think they have something we covered either were psychotic or a sociopath.

[TheHillratwd]

You just nailed my relationship with my wife of 32 years she had me so twisted up emasculated and gas slit she was always correcting me even in my speech when I said something she would say what you should have said was what you meant to say was

[r..k..]

Karen, search for the following article. I explain on the bottom the relevance here:

-
3 Things I Learned Dating an Aphantasic
What do you mean you can't picture a horse? For visualizers, it's hard to imagine what it's like not to visualize.
By Aphantasia Network
on March 11, 2019

—-


Aphantasia is a norm variant of cognition that is a very young research field. This is only a small percentage of the population but shows that our brain develops more variations that we typically know.

I’ve met a lot of women with the opposite - real movies in their heads. It’s called hyperphantasia. And this images is said to be negative on depression - on the other hand there are copying errors while processing memories. Known experiments are caused by by speaking about it - it could be found as verbal overshadowing. Women like to speak…

So both cognitive differences explains such „feelings“ by women - extreme on women side probably increase the perception of autism’-like behaviors of the husband. It’s simply very far away of own cognition.

[ReyesRP]

Dr Rick Hanson made a comment in one of his videos about how many couples who come to him the first thing the wife does is try to get him to diagnose the husband as autistic before they even start talking about the relationship.

[PJ-omwq]

I think I am mildly autistic (currently waiting for proper medical assessment). It's not so bad. There's no treatment and no cure, which means that my wife will just have to suck it up and love me as I am. Women always want husbands to change but no one can change autism. I'm kind of feeling more free to be myself. Also clueless people can confuse autism with narcissism, because autistics have to be slightly self centred, and can suffer stress and anxiety. However it doesn't come with the self hatred and paranoia of narcissism. The point is it makes it easier to deflect any accusations of narcissism. Fortunately self assessment of autism is reasonably accurate so if your wife is saying you are, you can figure it out in your own time without her interference.

[davidharris]

I don't even think of anything like that and why would I suspect if you don't understand your surroundings?

[RPMentorTokyoChannel]

Karen, if you ever did want someone to talk to regarding autism, I'd be more than happy to. Alternatively, I'd also be glad to send you research on this.

[Brent-zs]

I have had women diagnose me as autistic but not any girlfriend. One did say i had a d d