Should I Give Up on My Ex? 5 Signs You're Wasting Your Time

Clay Andrews answers the question “Should I give up on my ex?” What this question is really about is whether or not your are wasting your time on your ex.

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You may be wondering if you are wasting your time trying to get your ex back. You might be wondering should you give up on your ex?

And the truth is that getting back together with your ex is going to be a challenging process.

It’s not as simply as just whipping up a quick text message or two and sending them off and hoping for the best.

Your ex probably took some time to come to the conclusion that breaking up with you was a good idea (if the the breakup can out of the blue, the emotional foundation of the relationship was probably rotting for quite a while).

So if your ex came to the conclusion to break up with you over time, why should they get back together with you quickly?

I know that there are a lot of things online that promise you to get your ex back in 24 hours or some nonsense like that.

But the truth is that those things are all marketing hype. Real relationships take time and effort and work.

It is no different with getting back together with your ex.

In this video I will share 5 signs you are wasting your time with your ex. Most of these signs have to do with missing the point and focusing on the wrong things or on being impatient.

You probably can get back together with your ex. Yes, even you.

But you have to have the right mindset when it comes to all of this and you have to make sure that you are focusing on the right things.

If you can’t do that, then you are probably better off giving up.

Because to try to do something without being willing to put in the work is only an exercise in frustration and futility.

Should you give up on your ex?

That’s really only a choice that you can make and that’s something you’re going to have to check in with yourself on. I can’t tell you how much you want to get back together. I can’t tell you how easily you’ll give up.

Only you can answer the question “Should I give up on my ex?"

[capricris]

Yeah waste of time, especially if he thinks he can pick up where he left off like nothing bad happened. Forget it.

[tiphanieren]

I really liked it. I was expecting the context to be “if ex do this then it’s wasting time”, but actually it’s focusing on “what’s in you”. It’s really useful

[michelleg]

Just what I needed to hear! I'm in the phase of "Riding the Dragon" and I almost gave up today.

[jasontuxedoitalian]

I noticed that a lot of the time, if you break up there is a miscommunication and someone been turned off! If you improve your self and let them hear it and see it. Well and one of them need a rebound. I knew my situation she wants too see if the grass is greener on the other side.

[a.d.b]

I LOVE your emphasis on self-work, common sense. Many other videos seem to push games.

[laniathereal]

You’re so honest which is what I needed. Now I realize that if I really want him back it’s going to take a lot of effort and I absolutely cannot give up

[malorirose]

I like how you give advice more rather than do the whole marketing trap a lot of “relationship gurus” on YouTube do. Haven’t found a channel I liked in so long. Thanks!!

[chrissmith]

Great advice about improving emotional connection with your ex

[meetarpita]

I have learned meditation and I changed a lot and became a spiritual person.
I dint give up till.
Emotional connection..crying..
No contact

[monsieurdoutreval]

You are REALLY good, Clay. I've heard and read a lot, but the things you say are really clever, true and different from the typical stuff one reads. THANK YOU!

[phouathao]

I don't know anymore Clay. My heart really wants him, but my mind says no. I want him in my life, but he is not putting effort at all. It has been almost a year since we broke up and no word from him. I want to be able to move on and start anew, but half of me is sad to think of him also moving on and having another relationship. I know the best for me is to move on, but I still can't. I believe I have tried everything in getting him back, but I guess he just doesn't want to, doesn't love me. I'm just waiting for the day I am able to forget, let go, and start again! I can't wait! 😔
Thank you for your amazing content! 💛

[SheydubaiHuda]

really... i guess..im wasting my time cause 3months i did.. and tried to win his back again.. but now im tired so its ok. no need

[krystina]

What if the reasons for him breaking up is because he think you two are just too different. What if he's been indecisive about moving forward and when you try to have the emotional connection you get stonewalled because he "doesn't know how to talk about his feelings?"

[crownedmelaninqueen]

How to emotionally connect when he is scared 😱 ????... I feel like I want him but he just isn’t interested.

[DIYDomTheBuilder]

Hey Clay!
Great video… it really hits home for anyone (like myself) whose journey to get their ex back has been a long, winding path; with lots of hills and valleys.

Feel free to admonish or correct me; but I believe there are 2 main points to take away from your advice in this video.

1. You highlight on a very important fact that can be overlooked or is deliberately ignored, because it is our biggest fear... You might be wasting your time trying to get your ex back! They simply may not be the right person for you or they really do not want you back, regardless the reason.

And...

2. As you mentioned in the video, there are the other five stages when you’re on the right track to getting your ex back (i.e. “Riding the Dragon” etc. ). In that video, you stress the point that those stages are fluid and not finite. Meaning, you can go back-and-forth between the stages. Especially while Riding the Dragon… there are going to be a lot of highs and lows.

I have seen that for myself many times. It takes a good amount of effort to not only learn, but maintain what you’ve learned; when it comes to building a solid emotional connection with the other person. For example, just because my ex and I are now comfortable sleeping in the same bed together, if we start to cuddle, it does not necessarily mean it will lead to more than that. Don’t push the issue. Just enjoy each and every encounter for what it is so you both can enjoy it in the moment and let those moments collectively grow into the bond or connection you’re looking for.

[robertramirez]

Thank you Clay! At first I was terrified of this video, but I fell in love with it! So thank you for the tough love and making me look in the mirror to help me decide what I really want!

[damientheomentrites]

I broke up with my ex 3 months ago I did everything I could to get her back begged pleaded everything ! Except no contact is it too late for no contact? I don’t know what to do anymore? She tells me she’s in love with me but she can’t be together with me right now I’m so confused

[stephb]

What if he is the one that needs to change? I improved myself while in the relationship as I wanted to make it last. He broke up with me and kept it up which caused a majority of our problems. But yet pointed fingers at me for his behavior!

[georgespangler]

Shouldn't them leaving be enough of a sign you was wasting your time...

[kolyah]

Break ups happen for a reason, yet rarely are people willing/able to introspect sufficiently to figure out their part in the relationship breaking down. This is why getting back with your ex more often than not, does not work out. Furthermore, if you get back with your ex, you will have an added hurdle to overcome, which is the break up itself, which will cast a negative shadow over your future interactions with your partner, which often causes issues.

It is possible to get back with your ex, however, for this to happen, the problems in your first attempt at the relationship e.g. physical distance, neediness, emotional baggage from previous relationships, bad habits etc must change. If you aren't willing to identify these problems and fix them, then it won't work out.