Why I Picked Snapchat over Instagram for My Kids

In this video, I'll share my rationale for letting my kids have Snapchat rather than Instagram.

Hi, everyone! This is Lara Hammock from the Marble Jar channel and in today's video I'll share my rationale for giving my kids Snapchat rather than Instagram.

My kids both got phones when they were in 7th grade. I would say soical media was a way bigger deal when my daughter got her phone last year than even 3 years ago when my son got his, so her experience is probably more relevant than his.

At the time, both of these platforms were more straightforward. Instagram was and is a highly visual social media platform where you post artsy photos and selfies for your friends and followers to view, like, and comment on. Snapchat was a silly point to point communication tool where you sent photos to friends that disappeared after a few seconds. Since that time, Snapchat has added lots of features that make it more like other "feed" centric platforms, but I was basing my decisions off of the Snapchat of "then".

I really think these decisions differ from kid to kid. If you know what your kid's weakness is, you can try to tailor social media choices to avoid issues. I'm not saying I necessarily managed to do this, but that is what I was attempting.

Here is my assessment of the danger of each platform: Snapchat chats are temporary, so it is the medium of choice for cyber bullying and sending noodz (that is either inappropriate or actual nude pictures). Instagram, with its overthought poses and aggressive feedback loop, messes with the way kids see themselves and others.

Let me just say from the outset that I am not pretending to have all of the answers and would never judge parents who make different decisions. We are all doing our best here with the limited info we have. At any rate, I did a quick assessment of my kids' stregths and weakneses and decided I was less worried about them bullying and sending noodz from both a doing and receiving perspective. And I was definitely worried about their burgeoning self identity, feelings of self worth, and some of the important values that I thought would be influenced by Instagram use.

The developmental years when our kids get phones are crucial to the building of identity. Developmental psychologists say that kids do much of their identity formation from the ages of 11-13. There is a reason that coming of age ceremonies for most major religions are right around this age. Kids figure out who they are, what they believe in, and what they think is important. I think Instagram seriously messes with this process and the formation of these important values. These are the parts of Instagram that bother me:

* Posed selfies - the need to be "perfect" is crazy ratcheted up on Instagram. Everyone is taking a billion selfies, editing the hell out of them, and actively curating their photos constantly. It's the exact opposite of one of the rules I made for myself back when I was on Facebook, which was never to untag myself from unflattering pictures posted by others. I did this because my vanity is a real thing and actively cultivating an image that looks different from reality is the height of inauthenticity to me. Values: vanity, narcissism, perfectionism
* Visual - Instagram is incredibly visual, which makes for artsy, interesting photos. But I would argue that it is hard for this highly visual medium to be about much more than superficial stuff: status, looks, and brand names. There is not much room for compassion, empathy, or moral support. Values: superficiality, materialism
* Likes - I would probably argue that this is the most insidiously destructive part of Instagram for kids in the 11-13 year old range. Every time you post a photo, your followers can like or comment on it. People will wait until the best possible time of day, so that they can obtain the most likes. Photos live and die based on how many likes they garner. You can see how this feedback loop might make it difficult for an early teen to stay centered and grounded. Particularly since the more provocative the photo, the more positive reaction it will get. Values: love and belonging through provocative photos . . .

[dancercy]

I don’t understand why I can’t get Snapchat all I literally do is use the filters 😭😂

[joelleeson]

This is actually a good video because you bring up relevant open minded straight up points and you explain each side. Other videos like these are made by parents who don’t know their kids.

[maes-vlogs]

4 years of asking for Snapchat I finally got it

[kaitlynisabella]

After like two years of asking for Instagram I finally got it

[violetgsnyder]

how do i send this to my mom without sending this to my mom

[jp-wqpl]

My parents won’t let me get any of them any tips on how I can convince them?

[MrTacoyamada]

My mom won’t let me get Snapchat and it’s so annoying her reasoning doesn’t make sense either

[baileybentley]

My mom won’t let me get it because she thinks it’s inappropriate but all my friends have had it for years. Is there anyway you could give me some tips on how to persuade her??

[zoecommissaris]

you listed the negatives of instagram but no positives of snapchat which is kind of why i'm here

[debbiorr]

Ik I'm EXTREMELY late but this helps alot I really hope they say yes after I show them this video bc you can actually explain things clearly and very well but other ppl don't explain properly so thanks this helped alot

[agstardust]

I’m too scared to ask my parents for an Instagram, but as I’m fourteen, and will only post pictures of dolls and DM friends, I’m just going to get Instagram anyways. I’d block anyone I didn’t want there.

[hiii]

I got my phone when I was in 6th grade

[elisabethweimar]

My mom won’t let me have either. I’m a good kid who has good grades and never gets introuble

[kellybeaulieu]

Thanks for sharing your comments. Appreciated and educational

[Katy-sfcb]

My parents don’t care about “my identity” or “how I see myself” or “self worth” they let me get instagram but not snapchat because they don’t trust me

[kayla]

I am a teenager and I have both Instagram and Snapchat. I would say snapchat is more addictive than instagram and there are a lot of nude pictures on there. I am a teenage girl and I would never (and have never) send these pictures but I get at least one or two nude pics every two days or so. So I would say that overall if any parents are looking, get Instagram over snapchat for your kids. I do agree that Instagram offers a lot of problems related to being overly self conscious and worried about how other people think of you. Neither are great, but hey nothing will ever be perfect in life. I enjoy using both, but I just wanted to let people know what actually happens on both platforms. I think that Instagram is safer than Snapchat. I hope this helps anyone trying to decide for themselves or their kids.

[averyjohnson]

Okay if you were my mom, I’d be extremely grateful. Both of my parents were like “how about none?”

[kaydencegreene]

I just got insta like 3 weeks ago I’m 13 in 7th grade can’t have any other social media dad won’t let me😭

[satowife]

but there are alot of drama going on in snapchat
when kids have snapchat people can find kids and teenagers
now instagram, they dont have any prbs

[ijgtxue]

I'm allowed to have instagram but not snapchat because snapchat is really bad for kids and teens.