Want to Make Friends After 60? Stop Doing These 3 Things!

Are you finding it challenging to make friends after 60? Has retirement become a bit more lonely than you hoped it would be? I hope that I can help!

You know, making friends is difficult at any age, but, I feel that it is especially challenging after 60. Without the social ties that connected us to others when we were working or actively raising our children, we can feel isolated or even invisible.

Of course, there are many things that are our of our control. But, today, I want to talk about 3 things that many women our age do that may contribute to our inability to form social connections with others. I hope that you will add your own ideas in the comments section of this video.

What positive steps can older women like us do to make more friends? What things should we avoid doing if we want to form tighter social connections with others? Let's have a chat!

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[ktk]

I would like to add another suggestion: stop talking about yourself. Sometimes we're so anxious to talk to someone that we forget to take the time to actually listen to the other person.

[lisaschmidt]

I actually love solitude and don't feel isolated or lonely. We are all different on the introvert - extrovert continuum. That being said, I do get out and socialize once a week or so. I think it's important not to feel bad if you enjoy solitude. It's real.

[redwoods]

Don’t overshare about all the bad things that have happened in your life. Work out issues in therapy with a professional. Don’t ask to borrow money (you’d be surprised how often this happens). Meet the person halfway when you meet to do an activity together. Don’t insist they come where you are. Don’t talk about politics or religion. Don’t ask the person how much money they make/have. Don’t express envy if they have more money or free time or nicer things. Ask them what makes their heart sing and gives them joy.

[lanipowell]

After I retired, I looked for a MeetUp group for retired women who were meeting for lunch once a week. I couldn't find one that appealed to me so I started one! It's been a huge success. We currently have 30 members and we really enjoy each other's company. Some of us have even become good friends. I treasure these women and they often thank me for having started the group.

[carolejackson]

Finding a friend starts with being a friend. Listening to others rather than obsession with self.

[whizbang]

I am currently 68, and relocated at 60. Retired now, both adult children have abandoned my husband and I and we don't see our Grandson. This is spot on. It is very hard to make friends at this age. I exercise, go to church, Bible study, and live in a 55+ park. All relationships are so surface level. No intimate relationships..it's very sad as it seems everyone has family and friends to do things with. Thank you for this.

[debbieboothe]

Made me think of a poem I once heard. I will share it. "I went out to find a friend and there was not one there. I went out to be a friend and there were friends everywhere". :)

[mommaoinnh]

Don’t judge new people based on looks, weight, cars, houses, etc. Accept all!

[mariejosesale]

I lost my husband two months ago. I have discovered your channel recently and this is a God's send for me.
You are helping me trying to find a new life without my husband. Its hard but I am trying to get out and meet people.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by grief and have to stay in and cry.
Thank you and God bless x

[elsiemorris]

As I get older, I prefer more alone time. My circle of friends is small. I enjoy my time with them, but also my time by myself.

[maryannedaugherty]

My son at 4yo had seen an elderly neighbor working in his garage. B didn't tell me about this. A few days later we were all outside and suddenly I couldn't find him. Panic! Ran down the street calling his name. Sure enough he was in the garage with this wonderful man. His wife was there and told me that B had come to their door and asked "Can your boy come out and play?" The maybe 70ish year old was so tickled he took him to the garage. A beautiful friendship was born. Once this man came to my door and asked "Can your boy come out and play?" We moved the next year and had no other contact but B now 43yo says that was the best friend he ever had. I could learn a thing or two from that little 4yo. 😊❤😊❤

[alisonanthony]

I lost a lot of friends when my husband passed away 6 years ago. They were all couples and wasn't. My personality changed a lot as well and they were constantly trying to "cheer me up" and telling me I needed to get back to being the person I used to be, but I'm not that person any more - grief really did a number on me. I used to be a very occasional scuba diver, which was an activity my husband didn't like so we never dived together. Anyway, I decided that this was something I could do that wouldn't remind me of Clive. It took all my courage and several pairs of Big Girl Pants, but I joined a local diving club and it's been fantastic. It was so scary walking into a room full of strangers and, basically, asking them to like me when I didn't even know who I was anymore, but it was so worth it. It's hard to be the "new kid" at our age but you just have to go for it. I've made some true friends from the club who accept and like me for who I am now. It's a difficult thing, to put yourself out there, but just remember that everyone is in the same boat.

[sandrathompson]

I just turned 66, person of colour, never married, just have a small dog, on my 3rd so far. I meet people and make friends easily. Although when I a out I am quite friendly, I do love my time alone at home. I happen to be on a local bookstore email list and they often have featured writers provide talks with Q&R. This helps to get me out, especially if a favourite author or someone i' curious about. Even in the winter, its a nice quick trip on the bus and I get to enjoy being out even for an hour with like-minded people.

[shelleycharlesworth]

Good video. I'm 75 and lost my husband 9 years ago. In the last 3 years I have lost a cousin and 3 childhood friends. I walk my dog every day and I read a lot and I was doing volunteer work prior to pandemic. I have few friends whom I can walk with or meet for lunch...but it's sad to be old and lose loved ones...I am often lonely.

[calypso]

I think that people over 60 have to Realize that they don't have to limit themselves To having friends around their age. There's nothing that makes you feel young again than having friends of all ages! Getting out and going to museum's, and art gallery's, and joining groups and volunteering And going to coffee shops And taking classes. All ways to meet new people and being open to people of all ages. I have friends that range all the way from 23 up to 93! And you learn so much from everybody when you are open to meeting new people. It's fun and it's a great way to have a lot of different interests in your life.

[texasmimi]

I live in a 55+ community of 22 neighborhoods with many home sizes and price points. I live in the largest and the most cost-effective (garden homes) neighborhood. All have events just for their neighborhoods, and overall the community bldg. has events for all who live here. The ladies in my neighborhood are all friendly and we get along very well. I am getting involved in groups that interest me and the ladies in them are all friendly as well. I am busy enough to really enjoy my alone time when I am home without feeling lonely or friendless. It helps that everything I need or want is within a 2 mile radius of our community. BUT, I DO feel alone and "down" at times because my lifelong friends and family, those who KNOW ME, and I them, are no longer around. And I realize those days are behind me. Change is sad sometimes.

[chrispettersson]

Hi Margaret. I'm fairly new to your channel and love it. I've been estranged from my daughter for 2yrs now (I'm 69) and felt confused and embarrassed to tell anyone, so your videos have been a comfort and learning experience to me. I live alone with my darling wee dog and she's my best friend. I have had 2 good friends pass away in the last few yrs, and last winter I joined a local stitch and chat group that meets every Monday. Two of the women have become my new good friends and we have turns at meeting at our homes on Fridays. So thank you Margaret for your wonderful words of wisdom. Kind regards from Chrissie in New Zealand.

[kcloveonaleash]

Oh my goodness! The best advice from you Margaret. I don't know how I became so reclusive the past 2 -3 yrs but it became my default. I finally yesterday, walked to town and had a beer at a bar watching football then went shopping( perfume and a sweater on deep discount) and was gone 5 hours!!! THANK YOU for the reminder ❤️💗❤️

[calypso]

I would also like to add, and I know this will probably upset a lot of people, please don't go on and on about your grandchildren. You can casually mention them but too many people, their whole life is about their grandchildren and that's all they talk about. When I'm with somebody I want to know about that person. What is the last thing you did that was an Adventure? What made you laugh so hard you cried? What did you just learn that you never knew before? These are the things that people will find interesting about you and they will want to keep talking to you and get to know you. I just find way too many people all they want to do is talk about the grandchildren and then it always comes back to the grandchildren and I'm glad you have grandchildren but I want to know and learn about you so I can know if we're going to be friends and have a good time.

[smallhouseinthemeadow]

I joined a book club at our library to meet people and am really enjoying it. Before that, I have pretty much sat here alone for the past ten years and got in a real slump. It is good to get out and share ideas.