AITA for not attending my friend's 'wedding' after her response to my big news?

[BellaQuiz]

rest of this post: No congratulations, no "I’m happy for you"—just concern about whether I’d still be attending her wedding.

To add to this, two weeks ago I asked her about the dinner arrangements for the wedding, and she hadn’t planned or booked anything yet.

If she had everything planned out and really needed my confirmation, I’d understand her concern. But given the context, I’ve decided that if all she cares about is her wedding and she can’t even be happy for me, I won’t be attending.

AITA?

[sandrasausville]

NTA she is just selfish.
Most people would be happy for their friend getting a great job.
And saying that it's the nerves isn't going to cut it

[meganweng]

Hot take coming (please be nice, I’ll delete my comment if you think it is mean)
Everyone is in the wrong here. The bride is selfish, only thinking about herself and what she has going on. OP is overreacting to a bit of selfishness and weirdly willing to skip a huge event that has massive impact on her friend’s life just because she couldn’t get over not being praised from her friend(which her friend should have done, but it isn’t some horrible sin to not give congrats).

[Selena-M]

This op is a bit selfish too. As an Spaniard I’m aware that for court weddings you need two witnesses to sign the wedding certificate for the couple as a proof that the people is getting married out of their own will (we don’t have mho or things like that, that’s an American thing). Bedsides, I don’t understand why Op makes it sound extremely good that position, it’s true that every year there are exams to be a public worker (which is the kind of work she got) because millions of people wants to Leech from the government and never get fired . There are a lot of useless people who doesn’t even lift a finger, works from 8:00 to 14:00 spend 4 hours taking breakfast, leaving whenever they want, (I do remember one teacher 40sF dragging by the hair to a student 14-15F all the way of a corridor, slapping regularly to her students and never a warning, also another teacher 30M who had sex with a student 17f and marrying her a year after graduation and no complaints neither) Even after all this bizarre experiences they never get fired. Also for you to have an idea, basic income is about 1.2k monthly high school teachers and public administrators make around 3k per month in a small city (money that comes from taxes and we aren’t getting any smarter neither better with government affairs but taxes won’t stop coming up lol). So OP is an ah, you wanna be celebrated then ask for a celebration and if op had committed to go to the court room, then you have to go. Op has a mouth then use to dialogue since it seems there wasn’t a problem until ops friend didn’t congratulate her 🤌🏼

[tako]

Random but how is only inviting your closest family members not considered a proper wedding with Americans and other western cultures?

[grimm]

I do believe that the OP jumped the gun on not going to the wedding. It just seemed like the bride was just showing concern whether not she's coming or not To her big day, maybe if she would have said yes, then she was coming, then she would have been congratulating her on her job. I don't know.

[JustMeDidii]

Seems petty and a lack of communication.
Instead of writing this on Reddit OP should speak with the bride and figure things out.
They both seem a bit self centered

[clipclop]

Op is literally bsf maid of honor why wouldn’t she be concerned?

[helenetrstrup]

I'd say both suck. If all it takes for you to abandon your best friend is the lack of a "congratulations" are you even friends???

I get that OP needs confirmation as to where this is going to be taking place, but good God. *Talk* to each other. Work something out. Invite your friend out for a celebratory dinner or something else to celebrate your new job. Who knows, she may need a break from wedding planning.

[valerieramirez]

If a close friend of mine decided to completely skip my wedding over something like this without even bothering to discuss anything with me, then i have to believe that she's not as good a friend as i thought.

[DeeDee-dnzn]

Seems a bit petty to not attend because of her reaction. Even good friends can blow what they say sometimes. She also may not understand the significance of the job. Even though it is a small ceremony, it doesn't mean that it isn't occupying about 99% of her brain. Also, I have found that when you have already scripted in your mind the reaction you are expecting, you will almost always be disappointed. Life doesn't come with pre-scripted lines like a play does. Real life comes with the unexpected. Real friends talk and work around these times, not push the other out of their life for "pay back."

[Makethatmakesence]

Yta you are an important person for the wedding AND for your "best friend" if was her I'd be worried too you over reacted its okay to be mad but if she is your "best" friend you really don't care about her if she is a stranger then it's okay but miss gurll

[SheWolfStark]

You both suck. But I’ll be devils advocate here, while OP is blissful with her news, even small weddings are stressful affairs to organize, so her first reaction wasn’t completely awful as it could’ve been a trigger response to stress of thinking how she’d rearrange everything and find a new witness in a short notice. Yeah, the polite thing to do would have been congratulating OP, but op also chose to go kinda burning bridges in her reaction. Both suck but op is worse.

[kirstensabinearndt]

What's the big deal? Just tell her if u can make it. Dramaqueen

[atalantijuliadaki]

I mean yeah, you are overreacting here and she is also self centred

[sierracatherine]

Yta, you’re as selfish as she is 🤷🏽‍♀️. Bruh when my ex got engaged to the girl he emotionally cheated on me with. And when told my friend (who was also in a serious relationship), her response was “I was supposed to get engaged first!!” Not “oh no, are you okay?” Or “do you need to talk”

And I still agreed to be one of her brides maids a couple months later 😐

[MoonJellybeans]

Yta, you overreacted and decided to burn bridges. Honestly, you sound like a crappy friend

[katerpie]

Yes you both are, maybe she was just scared and worried because she really wanted you there?