They got banned from the restaurant 😳

#markmanson #boundaries #vegetarian #morals #beliefs #relationships #reddit #redditstories #aita

[karim_ghibli]

Tbh it was his birthday AND she invited him. Should have made an exception OR reminded about her rule while extending the invitation.

[ianbaileymusic]

I'm surprised that a couple with such poor communication skills managed to stay together for a year.

[mjim]

Hmmm, "It's your birthday, here's $100 to do with whatever you want.". Problem solved.

[antipunt]

The reason why "Am I the ahole" on Reddit rubs me the wrong way is because if someone posts on that sub to begin with, it looks like they're fishing for validation. Too often I hear people tell very inaccurate, one-sided stories of events that occurred to make them look like the victim. Writing/telling a story from an objective, neutral point of view is something humans struggle immensely with to begin with.

[MIGHTYcbu]

If she didn't tell him right when he ordered, she's the a-hole

[michaelnorris]

I would feel really bad if I were that guy. It’s not “underlying feelings of being unappreciated”, it’s a direct response. I think a romantic partner who can’t make compromises and stays in their own worldview like that is a bit of a problem.

[themacocko]

Can't side with Mark on this one. Why did she wait till the check came to make her objection? She couldn't have stated no when he was ordering? This is about the check, not the meat.

[KiloWattPlays]

Nooo way she ''calmly insisted''. if YOU'RE inviting someone to dinner for HIS birthday YOU pay...you only didn't because he ate meat? that's extortion.

[ravimakwana]

a gentleman would have paid, and a gentlewomen would have paid too🤷

[cinderling]

Hmm this is a hard one Mark. I usually agree with you, and apparently in the post it was apparent that she was otherwise generous and paid for everything but the meat

I think it's fair that she wants to uphold her boundary and admirable to stick to her ideals

HOWEVER...i also think there's a time and a place, and one could choose their battles, you know? This doesn't make her an asshole, no. But does it make her GREAT?

I think it's wonderful for someone to uphold beliefs such as vegetarianism for themselves, but how fair is it really to enforce them on to others?
Her bf had up till then always been respectful of her boundary. I'm sure he meant no ill intent. She could've chosen to let it slide just this once (you're not gonna save the world if one steak gets paid, ffs).

She could've done it just this once as a birthday gift

She could've sacrificed her own happiness tied to enforcing her (not very fair imho) boundary, and placed the happiness of the man she loves very much, above her own

Just one time

I might get hate for this. But I'm not saying you should always sacrifice your boundaries to maintain harmony. I'm saying in some circumstances, there are more important things. Like showing love. Choosing the happiness of the other over your own. Such qualities are disappearing.

But oh well. Good take anyways

Edit: oh and also, she's coming across as a big cheapskate. You either do something well, or you don't. Specifying that he ordered the most EXPENSIVE steak. I mean duh?? Wouldn't you WANT him to get that? You're doing this for him to be happy, let him have what makes him happy!

She could've encouraged him to get that, knowing how happy it would make him. It was HIS DAY.

If she wasn't prepared for that, she shouldn't have offered.

Geesh

[timbuktu]

You only heard half the story.
He was INVITED out on his BIRTHDAY.
Call me crazy but I would assume she was paying.

[radrno]

Her: "Hey, wanna have a birthday dinner at that restaurant?"
Him: "But isn't that a place that sells a lot of meat dishes?"
Her: "That's ok, I know you like those."
Him: "Ok then. I have to say, it's pretty impressive you'll actually open an exception to your rule just for me on such a special ocasion."
Her: "I'm sorry, what?"
Him: "You're paying for it, right?"
Her: "Uhh... no, I don't pay for meat products, remember?"
Him: "Then why are you inviting me to eat at a place like that on my birthday?"
Her: "So we could spend some time?"
Him: "Then why don't we just stay at home and order takeout?"
Her: "Because the restaurant is gonna make it more special."
Him: "So... on my birthday, I'm gonna have to pay for my food the same way I would at home, but instead it's gonna be more expensive for no reason?"
Her: "...yeah."
Him: "Hmm... no, thanks."

AND THIS IS WHAT THEY SHOULD'VE TALKED ABOUT *BEFORE* GOING OUT

[ccesca]

I mean sure you had the boundary that was agreed upon on both sides, but it's their birthday man, I would cut them some slack on their day and pay for what they like if I were in their situation. It's understandable why they got angry, it's their special day after all and the person prioritized their vegetarian rule more than the person they're dating, I mean come on it's just one day man.

[TheRuckus]

Putting politics, and subjective beliefs before your significant others one special day is so stupid, and the fact that Mark is taking this crazy persons side... goodness what a bad take. Manson also assuming the guy was drunk because he got upset is so disappointing. We all know no matter how much Mark says it's not true if the roles were reversed Mark would be lighting this dude up.

[cloudcalling]

I don't know - as a vegetarian of 20+ years who deeply believes that the farming and slaughter of animals is wrong - I feel as though this is a bit of an asshole rule. It comes across as pretty controlling. If your intention is to persuade others not to eat meat there are way better and kinder ways to do that. Also as others have said, if you intend to stick to a rule like that then take him to a vegetarian restaurant, don't take him to a place that serves meat then embarrass him for ordering it. Agree though that he hasn't reacted well to the situation, no one is exactly coming off great here.

[samueladam]

Comments aren’t doing great on this one. I definitely believe that if you invite someone out you should pay, BUT this is a hard boundary she’s had in the past.

This probably could have been fixed with a conversation, but one person or both are not doing a good job communicating. So instead John springs a meat item on his partner and she sticks to her boundary. An adult man throwing a temper tantrum on his birthday because he didn’t get exactly what he wanted is never ever a good look.

[mr.increediblle]

If the script was flipped, would you have the same energy Mark ? The internet would attack the man

[JaysonT]

Apparently, she didn't know he ate meat when she offered to treat him to a birthday dinner. He was only supposed to order the vegetables.

[ToTheWolves]

My partner knows I don’t spend money on meat and he’s happy to pay for his own. Never complains. Decent man.

[armin_]

The problem is to date a vegetarian while you're carnivore