UPDATE Old Sister's Upset I Announced My Pregnancy First, Cos Now Her Child Will Be Second Rate AITA

I (26 F) am married to my DH (26 M) and have an older sister (27 F) who I’ll call K. For some background: K was the golden child but my parents rapidly changed their tune when she failed uni and started a party lifestyle for a bit (no longer the case). Suddenly I was the favourite because I finished school and had a moderately successful life. I think it’s BS that my parents have/had favourites, and I largely keep my distance, but it’s something that has troubled K a LOT.

So! DH and I recently got pregnant (surprise!) and though I keep a healthy distance from my parents, we still talk. Boundaries are really important to have with my them because they will trample over your entire life and privacy. Covid restrictions are a thing and I’m not big on big parties anyways, so I decided to just tell my family about the latest news during a monthly family VC last Friday. I was excited to share the news but I also didn’t beat around the bush.

Once everyone had done the preliminary catching up I said DH and I had some news, and then said I was pregnant. My parents, sisters, and grandmother lost it, screaming and laughing and crying in joy. This is the first grandchild/great grandchild/niece or nephew so they understandably had pretty dramatic reactions. Everyone was excited except for K who stayed completely silent the entire time. Once things calmed down a bit I asked if K was still there and she said yes but she had to go and deal with something. I thought it odd but didn’t give it much further thought.

Story 1:
Update: AITA for announcing my pregnancy first?
Story 2:
AITA for snapping at my sister at a family dinner?
Story 3:
AITA for not replacing my nephew's pants and shoes after my daughter threw up on them

#AITA #Parenting #Family

[GCRedditStories]

Story 1: UPDATE 4:38
Update: AITA for announcing my pregnancy first?
Story 2: 7:30
AITA for snapping at my sister at a family dinner?
Story 3: 13:03
AITA for not replacing my nephew's pants and shoes after my daughter threw up on them

[redconvoy]

The second one, if I worked in a hospital and heard that while someone was recovering from what OP went through, I would throw them out. That is so heartless and that woman has no self awareness whatsoever. I blame the parents for this!

[civivva]

Glad to hear the update about the pregnancy announcement story. I have to admit i thought the sister was lying.

[DrownedInExile]

Story1: NTA. OP didn't know the sister was expecting, and is certainly under no obligation to check with her first. OP should not have apologized. I impressed she pulled her head out of her butt. But cautious optimism is definitely preferable.

[flamelily]

Last story NTA vomit comes out in the wash, the clothes have not been ruined. The nephew deliberately scared his cousin after being warned what would happen. The sil should have reprimanded her son not demand that OP pay for new clothes.

[DrownedInExile]

Story2: NTA, and I would have been much harsher in OP's shoes. She miscarries, and sister's first thought is to be angry she wasn't told? Sister really does live on her own planet! She's this self-absorbed, how's she going to treat OP's kid? Time to go NC.

[wickedamoeba]

Story 1: I’m glad OP is keeping her distance from the parents. They’ve shown how conditional their love is.

[jdd]

OP's sister is a total AH for announcing a pregnancy to a woman who is in the hospital suffering from a miscarriage. If the sister didn't want to be embarrassed, she shouldn't have brought the subject up in front of the family.

[Mscrimsondragon]

What kind of trash person would waltz into the hospital room of someone who just lost a baby and announce they are pregnant, THEN get mad for the lack of enthusiasm? Was OP supposed to get up from her hospital bed and put on the cheerleading uniform and grab those pom-poms??

[debl]

OP's sister is all about herself. She refuses to acknowledge OP has feelings at all. It's all about not having the attention she wants, the way she wants it, when she wants it. She sounds like a horrible person. I'm not sure you can fix a person this self involved. I would spend as little time as possible with that woman.

[kkxxl]

Ugh story 2: cut contact with the sister. There’s no saving that relationship at all at this point.

[odisea]

The first OP still sees herself as second rate compared to her sister.
I guess that's what growing up as the less favoured child does to you.

[shammydammy]

Your sister thinks you're in the wrong for how you handled her being a monstrous idiot at the loss of your child? Why are you still in contact with her?

[Cherrycola]

I need an update for story 2 STAT! I would’ve started seeing red and Kill Bill music would’ve started to play

[nobodyuknow]

I think that the real reason the sister wants OP to buy her brat new pants is to validate his actions. Make him the victim instead of the instigator. He did something mean and she knows it but sounds like the "My kids *never* do wrong!" type. OP should ask her if she plans to make her son stand up and apologize for being so mean.

[troubleinthevalley]

"I'm mad because everyone isn't always thinking about me and my wants and how things should benefit me. Waaaahhhh" God that's like all I hear nowadays lol

[silverstarmoon]

The first story, nta and u didn't know that K is pregnant. But I'm blaming the parents cuz their favoritism and attention give K have alots attention, and their so called parenting destroy their own children's self esteemed.
However, there are some people don't change, I wouldn't surprise some older relatives will go against op and her team to against the toxic cycles.

[milagrodelvalle]

When I was 17 years old I found out i was having a miscarriage. I didn’t even know I was pregnant. I had been about 12 weeks pregnant. My family didn’t know you can’t go to your mom at 17 and say I had a miscarriage.

[susanlayton]

What the hell kind of person tells their sister (or anyone really) that they are pregnant when the other woman is in the hospital because she had just suffered a miscarriage? Then has the audacity to be upset because the woman that literally just suffered a miscarriage (and is grieving the loss of their child) is not happy for them?

[BruinPhD]

Vomit Story: OP is not the AH, but depending on the content of the vomit and how acidic it is, it may not come out on the wash. A couple college parties taught me that lesson. 🤣