If They Say These 5 PHRASES, They are a Narcissist

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chapters
00:00 Intro
00:50 After all I have done for you
02:23 You will never find someone else like me
03:33 You want a cheerleader not the truth
04:53 Learn to Love not Hate and to Forgive not Blame
05:40 Why don't you do something to amuse me
06:46 Summary

[dianadiehl]

And when you heal and have processed your grief, you know you can dance on their grave in a celebration of one less harmful person in the world without guilt or shame.

[elizabethd.]

And how about this phrase: "You're so sensitive, " designed to gaslight you into believing that there's something wrong with you and you need to toughen up. When my narcissistic sister used that phrase on me, my immediate response was, "And you're so insensitive." That was the last time she said that to me. We need to learn how to shut these narcs down.

[deconstructingnarcissism]

"After everything we have done for you" I can't tell you how many times I've heard that phrase from my parents. Anytime I would call them out on their abuse (especially my dad) he would use that phrase.

[janedoe]

"You will never find anyone else like me". Oh yes I will. Narcissists are everywhere. And it is better to be alone than with one of them. And they are acting like such a martyr: Implying that they are so benevolent to "put up" with someone like you, and that "no one else" would do it. The truth is: they will be the one to suffer if you leave, because they won't have anyone to push around and abuse for their entertainment.

[a.y.]

Number 4. Oh yes. Unconditional acceptance to no matter what they do. The hypocrisy is immense.

[pheyup]

Each and every video you do is as if, you’ve lived with the narcissist that I deal with. Thank you so much for educating us all. 👍

[judyyates]

My mom was narcissistic too. I'm always thinking something is wrong with me. I was the unwanted. It hurts when I tell people I was the baby of the family. They assume I was spoiled. No way! She's passed now and I hadn't seen her in a decade. I had to detach. I don't regret it because I know the damage she could have continued.

[josiah]

My ex, later diagnosed as a psychopath, used to say, "I am an exhorter, not an encourager. I exhort you to achieve greater things." It was just a blank check for her to be abusive and call it "truth."

Also, churches (especially leaders) are full of the "love not hate, forgive not blame" narcissists. This gives them blank checks to behave as they want without consequences.

[AdamNTM]

#3 is one I would say to the narc because she hated the truth if it didn't align with her feelings. In her mind, having her back meant always agreeing with her, no matter how irrational or wrong she was. She was a master at being right rather than being correct.

[vijayarao]

Oh yes, "You will never find anyone like me.", my narcissistic MIL said within the first year of my marriage when she was trying to isolate me from my parents, finding all faults with them..
Also, one more phrase "I AM ALWAYS RIGHT", either they tell verbally or through their actions.. They think they are God..

[llkellenba]

That last phrase I haven’t heard put into words but it has certainly been their underlying message through how they treat people.

[rodeanphilip]

One time I was inspired with an answer to the "You'll never find another like me!" remark: I said, "One can always hope!" This answer tickled me when I thought of it years ago and still does.

[kennethmorningstar]

Wow! There was someone who I went to comic con with who lied to me that he was not planning on staying in a hotel, but was instead going to stay at a friend's house. So I ended up getting a hotel room for myself as he told me he was not planning on staying in a hotel.

The gates of the convention close and we meet outside.

I asked him "So what is the plan? Would you like me to drive you to your friends house?" He replied "You mean you have been miscomunicating with me?!"

I said "Hold on, you were the one who said you were not planning on staying in a hotel. That is why the hotel room was just for me."

Then he started making his demands "I got us the tickets, so you need to accomodate me! You need to give me the rest of the gas money I gave you and pay $40 for the amtrack."

I then simply said "No. You lied to me when the deal was that if I paid for half of the hotel, you would pay the other half. You were just hoping I would not notice and you could just sneak your way in."

He then said "After all I have done for you in getting the tickets to help you out with your career as a comic book writer, and this is how you repay me?! Fine! Enjoy your ticket!"

I replied "Don't worry I was planning on it! Thanks for the ticket!" and I left him stranded in San Diego without a ride home.

This is how you refuse the demands of a narcissist and get free stuff in the process. I had a great time at comic con for the rest of the weekend without him and it was wonderful.

[realhealing]

After all I have done for you! I hear this from my mother and sibling all the time. As if, I will always owe them for the simplest things. The guilt, fear, and shame they used on me was constant. I had to go no contact. Abusers do not change!

[imnoel]

Thank you Danish. I've heard all of these phrases, or not heard them but seen and felt them. In covert mode, they can say these things without speaking a single word.

[dclarke]

I am so proud and inspired by what you are doing with your experiences! You have helped me so much. I have had every phrase said to me by the toxic narcissists in my life. They have demanded unconditional love and forgiveness, which they never gave me, by the way! It feels so good knowing that other people know what it's like dealing with people like this. It gives me hope that you can heal experience, happiness, and peace of mind.

[cck]

2. "You'll never find anyone like me."
God forbid that you would do that again! 😂😢

[tillysquire-hjkk]

Yes my Mother had narcissistic traits too. Didn't know how to love, only how to tear you down!!! Really happy to tell me I ruined her life. Really insecure !!

[WaterBug]

Amazing. H weaponized a cheeseburger he had gone out to get for me. Days before. Threatens to sell jewelry or toys he has bought me as gifts if I don’t use them to his satisfaction. Everything is transactional. And nothing is ever free.

[NS]

Your mother and my mil are the proof that sometimes a parents’ greatest gift to their child is their absence. Too bad these kind will never give that. I remember the first time I got my hubs to go silent without his intent when he used “you will find no one like me” and I said “ God willing”.