What is the difference between holding a grudge and having a boundary? Quick Hits

This topic came up because I had someone tell me I was holding a grudge and I told them I simply had a boundary I was not going to let them cross.

Frank Galindo started us off by admitting he had to do a little more thinking for this topic than he has for post Quick Hits. Starting with that does it actually mean to hold a grudge?

He feels like holding a grudge is more negative than having a boundary.

Dr Cole Galloway summed it up this way, “Grudges are easy and boundaries are hard.” Grudges hurt the person holding them by building resentment. Conversely, boundaries protect the person who creates them while at the same time possibly oppressing and marginalizing other people (listen to his explanation. It is WAY better than my summery).

Kari Sheppard added that she doesn’t hold grudges at all and at the same time she could be better about create and maintaining boundaries (do you think those things are related?).

For me a grudge is “I’m mad.” A boundary is “I’m not mad anymore but you aren’t going to do that to me again.”

Connect with the panelists:
Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go

He has 20 years of experience working in PR where he enjoys bringing people together and creating partnership relationships. He is in the US.

She is an experienced surgical coordinator with 20 years in the medical field and the Founder of Evolution Surgery Scheduling

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in business psychology with a concentration in high performance. I provide customized, confidential, high-performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.