This Is EXACTLY What’s Wrong With Modern Dating

A prime example of what's wrong with modern dating!

[itdallas]

Once again this is what the Internet / Social media does to peoples minds, it makes you ungrateful for what you already got

[DannyDT]

Verdict: Don't compare yourself to people you've seen on Instagram.

[reinaldomartinez]

People see it as settling and that's such a terrible mindset. Sure you can always pursue for something "better", but peace is something that cannot be bought. People need to be grateful for what they have rather than looking for what they're missing, especially when they have what 90% of people want !!

[adester]

Fear of missing out while other guys are just missing out. You walk away from what you got and you will regret it. Fuck around enough and life will let you find out.

[AnthonySforza]

When I was a kid, my grandfather (A Southern, folksy wisdom sort of guy), once gave me the advice that when you're with someone, the absolute best you're going to get, is 80%. That's it... "You're going to want a lot of different things, but not one person in the entire world is going to have all of it. Not even close."

He went on that you can be an adult about it and see it for what it is. Appreciate it for what it is. View the 80% not as if you're settling, but how 80% is the goal. Live happily ever after.

Or, you can look at it like a child and focus on the 20% you're missing. But what happens is that it begins to fester and before you know it, that 20% is all you begin to care about. To the point that you will give up everything to move over with someone who has that 20%. And it feels good for a minute, it really does.

However, what you soon realize is that because you focused so hard on that missing 20%... that's all this new person has. Where by the time it occurs to you about how stupid ypu've been, your 80% happily ever after is now in the arms of someone else. "Which life do you think is more enjoyable...?"

[lordsinister]

This mindset is what confuses me about dating. The ultimate goal is to find someone who you can settle down with and be happy. Once accomplished, you are winning at life. There's no need to look for anything better because you already have what's best for you. Happiness is going to look different for everyone. Anyone who has the mindset that they are settling for their wife or husband is simply immature

[adamalexander]

“Now we’re labeling stable, healthy relationships as boring?”

People have been doing that for decades.

[cisium]

"I'm happy and content! What's wrong?"

[bernardzsikla]

I'm an older guy (58) who just got remarried. I dated alot of age appropriate women in the past 10 years. Often, there was alot of passion and hot sex for a few weeks/months then more often than not, they ghosted the relationship. They could not settle into a relationship with me. After seeing a pattern, I started asking alot of questions. These women couldn't have a long term relationship with anyone. Lots of short term sexual experiences and disappeared. Look up fearful avoidant personality attachment style.
When you get older, that is who is left, people that can not commit to anyone. Blaming men or women for sucking at everything.
This doesn't need to be that hard.
Normal stable relationship is what we all need to focus on.

[johnnymikes]

This is exactly what happened to me. I was in a relationship with a women who was a lot older than me. She was loving caring and nurturing in every way. I constantly looked at what other men had on social media and seeing them with young beautiful women. This eventuality pushed me away from her. Now I see what I lost and regret every day of it.

[DCBatmanFan-mv]

We are living in a society of adrenaline junkies or dopamine addicts. If they aren't on a constant "high" or feeling excited 24/7, they feel unfulfilled in life.
Sadly, pathetic!🤦‍♂️

[rosequartzjewelryllc]

Yes!!
I know my old friends judged me for “settling“ but the truth is I have never been happier to just be still and breathe peacefully. There’s been ups and downs but my husband has been my best friend throughout it all. I also have found my self taking care of him in ways I never imagined… but I guess that’s unconditional love ❤

[elyssacorbaley]

Marriage is not about full on lust for each other all the time.... It's about commitment, putting the other person first, and true love. Don't keep skipping from person to person just to feel that initial spark. You’ll eventually burn to nothing.

[greenshield]

Been the bad boy, had the rotations, the toxic women. Give me peace and stability all day, every day

[MH-brth]

All relationships will stop being exciting after the honeymoon phase is over. The real things to be concerned about are general compatibility. Such as, do I actually like this person or was I just physically attracted to them? Are the arguing/drama levels low enough or at least tolerable? Can I see myself being with this person for 5, 10, or 20+ years and would I want to have children with them?
If you're getting a lot of "no" internal responses to those questions it might be best to move on. Regardless of your feelings as to how attractive they are or what they can offer you financially.

[brianbarrett]

A guy I work with commented on my experiences with women, "You have to be exciting." The summary of my response is:

"Exciting sounds like drama."
"Drama sounds like problems."
"Problems sounds expensive."

[JustReckles]

I've been through this. I was too young and I self sabotaged.

[ZachDames]

This is great advice for all guys, there's always gonna be a girl with a bigger chest, bigger butt, better whatever. None of that will ever bring you the amount of joy you feel being with a woman that loves you unconditionally. Don't ever take that for granted. And remember, no temporary pleasure is ever worth more than a life with the woman who stands beside you and you loves you.

[reneehaynes]

Yep. Social media has contributed to this in a huge way. It gives people the illusion that they have all of these options. On the other hand this is why you shouldn't "play house" and live with someone before you are married or at least engaged. Especially if you are young. Since he's questioning things he will more than likely break up with this girl to find out what he's not missing out on, realize he screwed up royally, and then try to go crawling back to her.

[firebald]

The grass is always greener on the other side.... until you get there and find out, All grass is green ! D'oh !