What to Do When Your Trust Is Betrayed

On today’s show, we hear about:
- A man whose best friend hit on his fiancée
- A woman who suspects her husband is cheating on her
- A mom wanting to protect her premature baby

As heard on this episode:

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[ruthj]

I feel for his ex-friend's wife - he did this just after a re-affirming of their love ceremony - what a bastard

[aimeerebecca]

He unfriended you on Social Media?!?! That tells me he’s fully aware of what happened and can’t cope with the truth of what that makes him. What a child. He wanted to make that move on her for a LONG time!!!

[franciehartsog]

It’s even worse than a family member betrays you. We are living in a world where people do not take responsibility for their actions.

[adrianratlief]

I've worked in the ER. Everyone is sleeping with everyone & that goes for 3 different locations. I'm sorry, but his opportunities will be endless & he has shown that he doesn't have the self control needed to be there & stay married. You don't even have kids yet! He will do this again! He only changed his tune at work because you were going to rat him out. I wouldn't trust him again. Please do not have a child with this man.

[MisterNightfish]

"If I actually asssaulted your wife, I'm sorry". The only way that apology could be better is if he played a ukulele while making it. As far as talking to the guy goes, I don't see a point. Hearing the reason for this type of stuff never makes it any better. The reasons are always so stupid that you end up only feeling more stupid yourself for having heard it.

[loribernardisunwell]

Being nice to someone IS NOT flirting OR an invitation to sleep with them. That guys friend is a waste of space. He deserves no chance to speak or make excuses. Get rid of him and keep her. The end.

[MattTerrell-gcvw]

I know john says its legend of zelda, not real, and "be an adult" about social media BUT unfriending someone on social takes effort. So this dude took out the time to go through and unfriend him... he knew EXACTLY what he was doing and had those thoughts for a very long time

[skittleiggyluv]

LIE DETECTOR.
My husband lied in therapy for months. The therapist believed him. My parents believed him.
When faced with a lie detection test and finally admitted to 10 years of cheating. Our therapist ended up apologizing to me for having believed him.

[annstewart]

The caller is lucky to have a fiancee who loves him enough to push away his best friends advances. Go ahead and marry her dude, you have a keeper. Off load the best friend.

[simplygina]

This is why having boundaries between male / female relationships outside of your romantic relationship is important. ESPECIALLY when alcohol is involved. I would never disrespect my significant other by staying outside on a porch drinking with his buddy while my man is asleep inside. It just looks inappropriate to me and could be easily misconstrued. A group setting with my partner there with me is a totally different thing. To me, I’d rather be safe than sorry.

[shellyjohnson]

We have a couple that we are super close to and I can compliment the husband but he's never ever made a pass at me. He said all that to make himself feel better. He knows the truth.

[Applauseify]

When you have not been told as a child not to have any boundaries and then you are grown ass adult and your partner or best friend violates your trust multiple times. Your gut tries to warn you but you are so confused as your understanding is fucked when it comes to you. you are confused and you keep on giving benefit of doubt or misread reality knowingly because you have been told not to have standards in the name of blood, relations and sake of keeping peace

[maryt]

Dr. Delony I appreciate you empowering us to set healthy boundaries with our families and create our own traditions.

[TroubleActual]

Betrayal is a knife in the gut and back. I personally wouldn't leave my woman alone with a man, but i understand the loyalty you thought was there.😢. At least you found out sooner than later. I know 20yrs is a pretty long time, i lost a bro in similar situation. Get your closure with him, say what you need to say, not sure i would even listen to his response. You got a lot more life ahead instead of letting someone keep you in the negative past. Hopefully it will hurt him more than it hurts you. Don't drink poison and wait the other to die. Best wishes

[Anthony-]

1st call, probably not the first time his brother tried to cheat on his wife too. I’m betting there’s history. I wouldn’t use my energy to contact him. Not a friend, move on and let go. Good luck!

[SaintTrinianz]

Sooner or later, we are all betrayed in some significant way by a significant person in our lives. I think betrayal is the ultimate test of character. It will either bring out the best or the worst in you. Betrayal can make you or break you...

[cecilealexander]

Dr. John, GREATTTT advice, EXCELLENT advice to that caller of the 20 year friendship, ..Thanks Dr. John for helping us with LIFE'S TRAUMA.

[CatGoldie]

To the parents with a premature baby at 26 weeks old. You are doing right by putting her life first. So many things can come up with a preemie. I had preemie twins. Issues with their health. If anyone came over, they had to be healthy, I had sanitizer all over the place. Grandparents could hold them...visitors were spread out. Everyone respected why and what we did with boundaries. Prayers all have gone well. Blessings

[mimimonster]

Bwahaha John’s comment “Nah dude… it’s like he’s following you on Legend of Zelda.” EPIC. That should be how all adults see social media. Not real life or communication.

[angietyndall]

The Dr. Delony Show I love how down to earth you, Dr Delony are. I also like how you understand HBSE, Psychology, Nature v. Nuture; etc. SO well and take all of that, plus being down to earth and warm personality; etc. It makes it so easy for people to speak with you, want to listen to you; etc.
You have quite the gift in helping people. 😊!!
You remind me of a co-worker of mime, who is the same way and an LCSW.