The One Where I Read Chapter 1 of OUR BOOK - THE GREEN DRUID (GODS OF AEVUM #1)

In this special episode (with BACKGROUND AMBIANCE), Jordan reads chapter one of THE GREEN DRUID (GODS OF AEVUM, Book I), the debut novel of Nikki and Jordan. Please enjoy, and it would please us greatly if you would offer us your thoughtful feedback, commentary, criticism, etc. This book is not published yet; this is merely a sample chapter.

~*TIME STAMPS*~
Intro: 00:00
Context: 00:58
Teaser: 01:52
Ch. 1: 04:27
Break I: 15:30
Break II: 34:08

~*FOLLOW JORDAN & NIKKI*~

~*VIDEO CLIPS & ART*~

~*MUSIC*~
Rescue Mission - Lupus Nocte (via Epidemic Sound)

~************************************************************************~

#iWizard #BookTube #fantasy

[jessesanderson]

I did make it this far and I suppose the most encouraging thing I could say is, "I'd like to read some more.". Best of luck in your publishing journey!

[jessicabowen]

Congratulations on making it this far! I know you've put a ton of work into it!

[mrpopodopalis]

I look forward to reading the whole book no criticism I can think of.

[danielbujdos]

Hey! Thank you for sharing this sample chapter. I am not familiar with your channel, but YouTube recommended this video to me and I stayed till the end, so I may stay a while longer and leave some of my impressions here as well :)

The prose was good, it had a nice flow, which is probably why I stayed despite the absence of an early “hook”. Maybe you have a prologue or a poem or some prophecy in store that will kick off the story and provide a hook, but if not, it might be worth considering adding something very early on, because it took almost 30 minutes before we got to some compelling action. We live in an era where you have to catch someone’s attention quickly, otherwise they will just swipe to the next available thing. The potential publishers are likely to look for an early hook too.

My main criticism will, however, go to the plot convenience at the very end. When things finally started to get interesting (the scene of the execution), my excitement was ruined by the super convenient presence of a hole in the pocket, through which the tiny scroll could be pushed and hidden from the guard. I am asking - why? Why did you think it would be a good idea to use a plot convenience for such an important moment? Such a small thing, but one that cheapens the stakes enormously. Now I don’t trust you that you won’t use a similar convenience at every future occasion to get the plot going where you want it to go. I am much more interested in knowing where the story would go if the guard discovered the scroll in the protagonist’s pocket. What would happen to the young man? What would the guard do with the scroll? Would he hand it to some authority and they would start investigating the mysterious message? That would be such a cool turn in the story and it would make me hungry for another chapter. Now I am just disappointed, because it looks like lazy writing and already in the first chapter.

Nevertheless, I wish you good luck in your writing and publishing journey and, hopefully, I will be able to read the full story soon! :)

[someokiedude]

I really dug it, I liked the references to Socrates and Plato. Though I am curious to see what the story will be about, I was a bit confused on what was going on? Did our main characters stumble on this execution scene or were they already there observing it? Or was it a flashback to a different time? Perhaps I missed something while I was listening to it. But I enjoyed hearing you read it, good voices too.

I’m curious to hear more!