How To Deal With Unworkability - Relationship Advice by Teal Swan

How to deal with unworkability - Relationship Advice.
Unworkability is a pattern that can crop up in all sorts of relationships. For example, you can see unworkability with coworkers and you can see unworkability in a love relationship.

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Teal Swan is a New Thought Leader and a Bestselling Author who is an expert in human development and relationships. She has over a decade of experience working with people of all walks of life with a mission to reduce human suffering.

Today, she’s also become an International Speaker, having facilitated retreats and life changing workshops in large venues worldwide. Teal was ranked 15th on The Watkins Most Spiritually Influential Living People in 2023.

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[tulsehillpurplegirl]

I don't know how you do it Teal. I was just now screaming and crying in a broken heap on my living room floor after the pain of finally ending the toxic relationship between myself and my partner of 2years, who has made it quite clear that no matter what he says after a blow out, he will never really change. I chose to leave the situation rather than live with the pain, disappointment and unreliability of an alcoholic boyfriend. I was just now collapsed in a heap over the grief for what he could have been if he had chosen to stay sober, and the anguish of knowing he will never change, and then you put up this video. You are amzing and I don't know how you do it. But thankyou, I am now washing my face and going for a walk in the winter sun on the beach outside my home. Thankyou. 🙏👏⭐🕉🌈🌟🕯

[ryanwiser]

I don't just watch a Teal video. I turn off all other distractions, sit down, focus, and take notes. Then watch it again, and again.

[mikeogden]

Relationships are hard …… I’m 53 and am now in a relationship with the girl who took My virginity and I hers in jr high…. We have much in common and many shared memories… we are family yet unmarried…. I feel as safe as I can in this relationship and pray 🙏 We grow old together with out any major upsets but with blessings

[AMERICAN.MADE.GOODS]

And this definitely plays into people being highly agreeable or not. Agreeability. Able to compassionately listen empathise and understand and even meet someone else's needs and visa versa.

[alexmorgan]

Life is too short to be around people who generate such negativity and sap your energy who let you down. Bin them and move on.

[josephinemanansala]

That's the saddest truth I've ever realized... when you do all the things that you could do to make things work and got tired of fixing it, you changed how you deal with things, changed how you see things... until you end up adapting to their so called unworkable behavior. You ended up being used to it, so when the time comes when they finally changed, you just "ehh", it's not pleasing to you anymore... what remains is disappoinment.

[leezaloo]

*NOTES:*

*+* Call out and draw attention to the unworkability first = dealing with the resistance first.
e.g. someone is unworkable relative to an opinion they may be holding. Instead of arguing what that exact opinion is draw their attention to the fact that they are being unworkable relative to their opinion.

*+* From there - make the person become aware (or yourself) of what the consequences of that unworkability factor might be
(negative for you, for them, for other people involved etc.).
Drawing the conscious awareness to that unworkability is like a high-intensity light beam on a block of ice = it melts.
Figure out what positive purpose that unworkability itself serves and what positive purpose being unworkable serves.
e.g. someone is unworkable considering other people's opinions. His positive purpose behind that could be that he feels like he can keep sense of himself and keep his own truth which is the opposite of his eneshment in childhood.
Ask yourself: Is there a different way to go about meeting the need or fulfilling the want that is inherent in that positive intention that is gluing the person to their unworkability?
The person has a choice then.

*+* Make sure that something is genuinely unworkable. Many people decide that a situation is unworkable when it totally IS workable.
Also, if the person still communicates that he/she won't change a thing, ACCEPT the fact that the situation actually IS unworkable.
AND you're gonna have to accept unworkability when your effort you keep putting forth to make sth change is causing far more suffering than you would be caused by just accepting that something is just unworkable and trying to work around it.
Trying to change something unworkable = resistance = what you resist, persists

*+* Genuinely accepting unworkability puts you in a powerful choice point.
Accept that what you wanna change, will not change.
You have 3 powerful choices:
1) remove yourself from that situation entirely
2) keep suffering there
3) see that you have all kinds of options in between. An alternative to those two previous extremes.

[kennethshaw]

My wife and I needed to hear this. Thank you Teal Swan!

[LukesLightsaber]

"People try to create an outwardly perfect life, but the quality of life is based on the inward."

[BrianThrives]

Classic example:

You want the house way cleaner than your live-in person does. Or they are way cleaner than you. Neither of you can compromise, as the neater one feels like they're living in a dump, and the messier one feels the constant pressure of resentment or nagging. A way to work around that unworkability is hiring a cleaner.

[taliagula]

First, Teal. Thank you so much for posting this video. You actually described my exact situation as an example. I am so grateful; I've been stuck for so long. Second, I really appreciate the visual quality of your videos getting better. It's cool to watch! Third, your fashion is so on point. You look amazing. I really respect you. Thank you for all that you do.

[DesAMowadeng]

I love this! The example of the man who became paralyzed and having to adapt to that because it's unworkable creating modification/making things accessible to the person is so crucial but people rarely get it!

[pisces.please]

The time was 5:55 as I finished watching this & boy was it divine timing to see this.

[jessadams]

You came out with this right when I needed it. Thanks Teal! ♥︎

[waldBestMusics]

Every video is an eye opener, what a video, need to watch it over and over, thx you for being there for us

[proTheologist]

This is a severly relevant and timely revelation. Thank you. Brilliant.

[alcudiababe]

I understand completely what you mean. I wanted to say this at the start of the video but I thought I'd better wait until the end. For example like accepting my Mom for who and what she is so all her traits good and negative ones together it means I have no desire to want to or feel the need for her to change, and it does put me in control because I don't waste my time getting hurt and I can get a better grip on the situation and for me not to get hurt by her being be who she's not.
Mom is who she is but cycle going around within her, her desire to want to shape and mould me into place...

[christinahaviland]

14:22 How can we tell the difference between un workability and personal boundaries?

I think there are layers of toxicity in my relationship, and one thing I’m struggling with is that we seam to want different things… my boundary of holding my non-negotiables could be seen as unworkable to my partner. Thanks for all your wonderful content Teal!

[MochaxMatcha]

Congratulations on 1 million subscribers! 👏🏽 🥳

[aloushinorris]

Teal dropping this gem just in time for the holidays.