When SHE has a higher S€X Drive than HE does...

In 30% of heterosexual relationships, women want the bedroom more than men do. So what should we do when were in a relationship where our female partner wants sex more than we do?

How to get HER in the MOOD (funny)
#marriageadvice #relationshipproblems #sexuality

[kelliegodwin]

I've been married 21 years and this has been our situation since day 1. We were both virgins when we were married and we didn't discuss what our sexual expectations were. I assumed I'd be saying no and faking headaches, but that wasn't the case at all. It's led to several tearful conversations, exclusively at my initiation. If i don't say anything, we'll go months - even YEARS - with zero sexual affection. If I do speak up, it's perceived as nagging. It's really difficult for me because i feel very unwanted, despite what he says to me.

[MCCRTHY]

I’m so glad that this was talked about 😆
Just yesterday I was thinking this when I came across the he needs more sex video… I talked to my husband about our sex life and he tells me we had sex last week… I think we as women do want sex but it’s also the intimacy of sex. I don’t think he being my husband seeks that and so just once in awhile sex is just fine for him, where as I need more.
I think openness is important in this area.

[NeverLoveNiila]

I was in a relationship where my sex drive was higher than my partners. He was not able to talk about it or explore reasons or other ways. It got to the point where I felt uncomfortable dressing sexy because I didn't want him to feel pressured. I now am in a relationship where our sex drives are pretty equal. And still it is a little tough for my boyfriend to wrap his head around the situation sometimes because he always had partners with a lower sex drive.

[HowlettHill]

As a very naive young lady (many many years ago) my then partner was not very sexual towards me. I found out after 7 years of being together it was due to affairs he was having, both gay and straight.

[witchymama]

I would love to see more videos about this dynamic. This was so spot on thank you jimmy

[tylerburgett]

Thanks for the video. I'm one of the guys who can have the lower drive in the relationship. Sex with a partner is great, but I'm a once/twice a week guy, and sometimes women expect beyond that.

It's a lot of stress for the guy sometimes in this situation. I have to handle my insecurity about not being the animalistic sex-craving machine I'm expected to be, while also trying to handle her insecurity of possibly not feeling wanted/beautiful.

It's a nightmare that my partner would feel less loved because I don't crave sex daily.

Thanks for acknowledging the 30%. 💪💯 It's comforting to see it talked about.

[sharonfisher]

Also this can be created in his head from excessive "corn" watching

[tymwillpass]

1:17…yep. He’d say, “I have to save my energy for work.”
😣
These videos may trigger trauma but they need to be worked out in my head in order for me to move on. I like that most are short too. Easier to rewatch and really understand what Jimmy is saying.

[Amelia_Ungerdahl]

This video has really helped me to dare to breach the topic to my partner of 2 years. I have the significantly higher drive than him and it feels like “corn” might have something to do with it. Thank you for giving me to courage to try and talk to him about it to solve things

[loribradway]

I feel this video bad. My partner and I have only had sex once in the last year. I have talked to him many times about what i want, but all i get are excuses as to why he won't do it.

[GroovusChrist]

The rejection is the real killer. I'd love to have a lower sex drive to avoid that alone

[LaninaGilhi]

In our case, we opened up our relationship. It won't work for everyone, and demands a very solid respect and trust, perhaps a certain personality type even. But this lead to us coming out of that negative loop. I can go "refill" sex with someone if he hasn't been in the mood for a while, which makes him feel less pressured and more comfortable with initiating again. When he also knows I'm not desperate for sex at the moment, he is more comfortable with showing me non-sexual physical affection without feeling like a "tease". It has strengthened our relationship.

Women with higher libido than their male partners are very seldom talked about, despite it not being that rare. When I was a teenager, I was taught (through pop culture and gossip) that "men only want one thing, unless they are gay or you are absolutely hideous". So when I was young, and going through my first relationships, you can guess how confused I was when I tried to flirt with a guy and he wasn't interested - or if I had a boyfriend, and he wasn't in the mood as often as I was. I had to learn that men can have different moods and preferences just like women.

[cecehectori]

Thank This is the issue that I have been facing, and I feel like it is slightly difficult to find information on this dynamic. Much appreciated!

[ashleys]

Thank I appreciate this video more than you know!!

[NatashaDuarte]

This is why when I ever get in relationships or before getting in to one
I will other person know my expectations
If he can’t do it for me
Then we can’t continue the relationship
Reading the comments here yeah I don’t have the patience for this

[Dillweed]

I believe the 30% figure. A trip over to read the experiences of the couples on r/deadbedrooms tends to bear out the number of women this happens to.

I have felt terrible guilt about my sexuality/masculinity for a long time after having these issues with a women I loved dearly, but who had a low sex drive.

Thank you for the closure of knowing it wasn't all my fault, and that I'm not a monster for desiring intimacy and connection.

[deerjohn]

That is why in my humble opinion marriage is flawed because peoples sex drive changes. Let''s say the guy has a libido of 6/10 then the woman is 9/10 libido. There will come a point that the guys libido becomes way lower that sex becomes feel like a chore or torture.

[andriaknobel]

It’s been this way for 28 years for me

[CDale-tcxz]

Outside of being the bloody posterchild for an avoidant married to an severely anxious attachment person we certainly have this issue. Not only is it a "chore" due to a list of criteria that have to be met first, thusly just making it a turn off for me at this point (and now... Well have you seen those videos of a lioness pestering the male for sex? It's kind of turned into that. I just have 0 interest) but on top of that it's just also become just gross for me as I get older to the point I pretty much consider myself asexual for all intents and purposes. It's not that I don't like the 'idea' of sex, but the act not so much. So... Fun times!

[ubuntu]

Hard for me because I have to do all the work. It's a lot of work! And she only wants it at night, after a 5 am wake up I need to put in all the work at 11 pm. It's rewarding! But very exhausting. Then I can't go to sleep after so the next few days I'm really exhausted.