i need your help to solve a problem ive had my entire life

[hesaidus]

hello everyone!!! it's been 8 hours and the support on this video has been amazing. there are 1200 comments right now, so a lot to sift through, but i've already read so many of them and i'm taking notes and trying to take action on getting a better answer for all of this. it feels like im not alone in what i'm feeling, which is very reassuring. i'll 100% be updating you all on my progress, but thank you for giving me a great place to start and for continuing to tell me your stories. i'm so glad i finally made this <3

[dr.chillwell]

Hey, Nick. I'm a pediatrician and, while I do not specialize in child/adolescent psychiatry or development, I have some ideas about what could be going on. It sounds like when you were 14, they thought this was hyperactivity and treated you with adderall. That makes a lot of sense, but I think what they're missing is that your symptoms sound more like compulsions and ticks more than hyperactivity. (Which is not to say you don't also have ADHD, you probably also have ADHD.) Feeling compelled to scratch you neck is probably based in anxiety and maybe a little OCD. It also sounds like you have a component of sensory processing disorder, that feeling of things touching you in a distracting way. A lot of neurodivergent people have these sensory issues. I'm not sure if you have any verbal ticks, but if you do, that could be Tourette's. But given your age (mid-twenties, right?) and the rest of your symptoms, it sounds more like OCD compulsion than a Tourette's tick. Honestly, your primary care doctor did the right thing by trying you on an SSRI. And you're already seeing a therapist, which will definitely be a major component of your treatment. If adderall and SSRI's aren't touching it, you might need to be seeing a psychiatrist who could try you on something like Abilify. Please don't stop these drugs cold turkey, bro! And I know this sucks to hear, but weed can really exacerbate anxiety in some people. Trying to cut back there would probably help. I'm sorry all of this is happening to you, it sounds awful! But a lot of us have had similar issues, so you're not alone! I know it doesn't feel "normal, " but I can identify with so much of your story. For example, I am also the product of a nondenominational Christian family who has anxiety, depression, and ADHD that never got medicated until adulthood. You're going to get hundreds of replies to this video from other people who have had all those issues too. So if you want to talk more about your symptoms and the meds or just life and coping, I'm here for you. (At this point, I'm questioning why I didn't just email you. I started writing this comment before I finished watching the video.) But let me know if you'd like to talk more. Hang in there, Nick!

[VanillaCupcakes]

Not a professional by any means, but this is very similar to what I experience. For me, the intense discomfort is due sensory issues related to ADHD and autism (e.g. I've worn my socks inside out my entire life because the seam on the inside makes me want to cry). The intense need to fix it is also rooted in my OCD. Not saying this is what's going on with you, but hopefully it can provide a bit of insight? Wishing you all the best!

Edit: I also have a lot of anxiety surrounding thirst and always feeling like my mouth it dry, which I've never heard anyone else express!

[BirthquakeRecords]

I just wanna give you accolades for having the courage to be so publicly honest about this. As someone who went undiagnosed and was completely ignorant about my health issues for 30+ years, I know well how isolating and alienating it feels to explain your symptoms to people who just DO NOT GET IT. It makes you shut down and not wanna even admit it to yourself. I wish I had answers for you, but I've got congratulatory words, for whatever that's worth!

[chloerose]

You’re not alone Nick. What you’re describing is exactly what I’ve struggled with my whole life and it makes me feel seen to hear you put it into words better than I can.

[ellieunderscore]

god the persistent thoughts of death and mortality has also been a thing for me too to the point where i feel a really feeling in my stomach. i remember watching your video when it came out and having to watch something else cause it felt like i was being talked to directly lol. you’re not alone in any of this and i’m glad you feel comfortable enough with your audience to share this stuff. proud of ya man and keep going !!

[caylindavids]

Nick dont apologize for sharing your pain. Speak as long as you need.

[Charcazzy]

Hearing someone talk about these things is a breath of fresh air holy shit. The compulsions, realizing others don’t act the way you do, and the constant med switching is so relatable and frustrating. Thank you for talking about it and being open.

[Puddle]

hi nick! sounds like sensory hypersensitivity and displacement behaviors. sometimes when we're young we pick up a pattern of things to 'check' sensory-wise when we feel discomfort, like subconsciously going down a list. (Sensory sensitivity is common for those on the autism or ADHD spectrums, or those with cptsd) these habits can become like tics. this psychology applies to humans and animals and can become rituals that avoiding can induce extreme discomfort as you described. our vagus nerve is in the back of our neck at the base of our skull and touching/rubbing there or applying something cool against it can provide stress/anxiety relief and even help pull us out of fight/flight/freeze. singing and laughing can also help with that nerve, as we tend to snap out of those modes if we're "safe enough" to sing or shower or laugh. your doctor bringing up OCD for the potential tics, obsessive thoughts, and compulsions makes sense- it's a real possibility, it's all overlapping.

but yeah if you wanna look into this stuff I recommend searching
-displacement behaviors relating to anxiety
-skin hypersensitivity / sensory processing
-vagus nerve relief

[nia.j.h]

This comment section is honestly bringing me to tears. The support is amazing, the information is unbelievably helpful, and I really think that I'm going to find things here that could help me find my own answers (constant and very specific discomfort, compulsive movements, upsetting intrusive thoughts, etc etc). The idea that this video will not only help Nick but probably countless others also searching for answers is making me so emotional, thank you Nick for opening up and creating this space for yourself and accidentally so many others too.

[armstrongtics]

I have Tourettes, OCD and a couple other funny guy syndromes and just want you to know my journey with those conditions sounds very similar to whats going on with you. You’re not the only one dealing with this kinda bullshit. My biggest hurtle was realizing I will never be “normal” or think and act like a “normal” person. Giving up the idea of perfection and doing what makes you comfortable is most important, even if it only makes sense to you. Best of luck from someone else constantly uncomfortable.

[madisonsmith]

sounds a lot like neurodivergence, whether it be adhd OCD or autism or a combo! I relate a lot to the overwhelming sense of physical discomfort and feeling like I need to do anything to feel relieved again. I have a similar sensory issue where I become extremely aware of how my ribs are positioned, which is hard to explain to other people, so props to you for talking about it and trying to find the words, it is definitely important.

[EmCora]

There’s been some controversy surrounding the idea of moving the diagnosis of ADHD under the umbrella of the autism spectrum, but there’s a reason it’s being talked about; because of how high the rate of comorbidity is. So I encourage really everyone whose been diagnosed with ADHD to also consider if they may be on the spectrum as well. In terms of your fatigue and other physical symptoms, it could be worth it to go to a doctor and get a blood panel run. Check out your thyroid levels, iron levels, that stuff. Just to make sure that all looks good before you move on to other options. Whatever you are feeling, friend, it’s real and you deserve to find some peace.

[lilaismygirl]

"im so uncomfortable all the time." relatable. nothing solves the problem for me but staying home so I can change clothes whenever i want and so I'm not being watched or around people helps for me. have been diagnosed with adhd and told by autistic friends that they think im on the spectrum. wishing you the best :)

[claygirl]

psychological evaluation - changed my damn life. I have had horrible sensory issues from autism and I developed debilitating anxiety and OCD because of it (also struggle with adhd woo). what you're describing sounds exactly like me man. once someone labels what you have it'll help you learn and discover more about yourself! I completely understand what you're going through and you're definitely not alone!

[katethompson]

I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia, pots, and autism/adhd. What i have learned in my autonomic nervous system is super deregulated which can lead to all types of wild symptoms. Some of my symptoms that seem similar to yours are the increased anxiety, sensory issues with tight clothes, and itchiness. Might be worth looking into! There are several chronic illnesses that are more common in people with ADHD

[Bananova-slupka]

I don’t want to sound selfish, but it really helped me to hear you talk about this. I have something a little different and its consuming my life and nothing seems to help ( this is probably not your case ). Even though people around me try to understand, this made me feel less alone

[careymariemartin]

nick you don’t know how much this means to see one of my favourite creators detailing struggles that i also experience. feeling these things is isolating as hell but listening to you talk about so many of these things that i feel like i can hardly talk to anyone about is like a breath of fresh air. your openness here means so much to so many people. thank you, and i really do hope you’re able to find solutions from this.

[gwendofrendo]

Number one I'd reccomend seeing an occupational therapist for strategies surrounding ADHD that are specific to uou and your needs. What I'll say here as someone in that field is that for people with ADHD they tend to be very sensory seeking and when those sensory needs are not met it can result in restlessness and feeling trapped in their own body. In occupational therapy we typically recommend "heavy work" for people with ADHD. This can include cleaning like vacuuming, mopping, rearranging furniture, making a bed, exercise like pushups, weight lifting, running, squats, or even playful activities with another person like wrestling or tug of war. Basically any activity that pushes or pulls against the body. I'm not sure if this would 100% solve all of your issues, but it's a pretty easy and low-risk strategy to use before situations where you know you will have to sit still for an extended period of time. Again i highly highly recommend you seek help from an occupational therapist who specializes in ADHD/OCD/other neurodiversities in adults.

[hannahreen]

THIS!!! I’m diagnosed with autism, ADHD, anxiety, POTS, and a history of a TBI and these are all things I experience. What you’re describing as that itch that can never seem to be scratched is a similar feeling that I have when my body needs to expel energy (ie: tic) but I’m mentally so tired that my brain and my body can’t seem to function together. It’s like the two are on different pages at all time and never seem to align. I always describe it as constantly feeling like a shiver is about to run down your spine, but that physical movement or bodily reaction never seem to come. I actually started experiencing more stims and tics when I was taking my stimulant medication (for me it’s Concerta ER and Ritalin). Those meds help me to focus and give me boosts of energy I need throughout the day, but my nervous system always seems to be in a constant state of unrest. There is so much overlap when it comes to different symptoms of neurodivergent diagnoses, so that’s why a lot of people can never quite seem to pinpoint just one of them that perfectly describes what they experience. I recommend talking to a neuropsychologist, because they will be able to correctly identify the cause from a neurological perspective, and they can also work with a psychiatrist specialized in neurodivergent behaviors.