Don't be so shocked!

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Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings

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My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.

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If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
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[Gnif]

I don't get shocked; I get suspicious.

[fourmacs]

I never believe it when someone compliments me. I always think they are lying.

[DawnSelby-kw]

My gut response to a compliment is: What do you want from me?

[xvuuvmv]

I used to have anxiety attacks when I received positive attention and acknowledgment.

[nicolemarie]

It felt like my mom was the gate to which a compliment had to pass through.

I'm grown and still working to get her voice out of my head. Thank you to God, positive affirmations, and therapy 💝

[ttoettoe]

Your voice is the soundtrack to my mental health hikes. Thanks for your work ❤

[Barely_Tolerable]

I remember my boss telling me in an employee review “What happened to you? Why can’t you accept a compliment?” I remember having ruminating thoughts for days about what that meant. My mother taught me to never believe a compliment, I wasn’t worthy and it means they want something. How I wish I could go back in time and save myself from so many years of depression

[Lily-cxvo]

A therapist I saw once told me to find one simple thing that was objectively true and say it out loud 5 times a day. I always thought affirmations were bs, but I’m like, ok, objectively speaking, I’m smart.

Not saying I’m a genius or anything, but on a scale of objectively dumb to objectively smart, that’s where I’d fall.

Every time I thought “I am dumb” I said out loud, “I am smart.” By the end of the first day I was crying as it sank in. Yea, I am smart. Family called me dumb my whole life but I had been called smart by educators, acquaintances and am my own objective definition of what “smart” is for other people is.

A year later I still have the thought at least once a day that “I am dumb” and say out loud “I am smart.”

I was the last to know and I don’t know if I can ever stop having that thought, but the relief of saying out loud something objectively true brings me a lot of healing since now I finally know.

[little.]

I'm 29 years old and I'm finally believing that I'm actually a cool person.

[wendyhayes]

I'm 49 and I still struggle with this. When yes, I am an awesome individual but still struggle with the belief.

[AylaHayden]

What I've noticed in myself is I not only feel that shock when I am complimented, but I also externalize it onto my kids. When I see them playing with friends in normal kids ways, I have to fight telling them the things I was told as a kid- you're weirding them out, don't be so intense, watch yourself more. I fight it, and am working on it, but it's sad that's the parenting instinct I inherited.

[RowanRiven]

Even though I feel a pretty healthy sense of esteem for myself these days, my default kneejerk to a compliment is, "What do they want?" The legacy of being raised by Narcs where anything positive was manipulation. I'm still working on trying to be more trusting.

[christophermcneela]

I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.

But now with seriousness and no acting or self-ridicule: I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and people like me.

[dcone]

I always got uncomfortable because it was so foreign to get a genuine compliment. And it wasn't that I didn't believe their compliment, I just couldn't comprehend that they would even BOTHER to take the time to notice me, let alone say something positive to me.

[earnestlanguage]

"I am a person" is the sentence that has changed my view of myself. I am a person so my feelings matter. I am a person so I take up space. I am a person so I make a difference in others and my environment. I have impact

[RC-nzzd]

I totally get this. I remember rehearsing how to respond to compliments because I didn't know what to say. I remember everytime someone said something good about me my mother would say 'oh if they really knew you they wouldn't say that.'

[loridillon]

I think it's difficult for us to believe that we are not going to be disappointing yet again. 😢

[DTthewin]

I would always affirm my nephews qualities and play down his short comings. His parents and siblings were not as supportive (to say the least) . Today, he has his own family, and is a self made millionaire. His faith and, as he puts it, my re enforcement of his worth is what carried and made him whi he has become. God bless those who lift other up and not tear each other down. ❤

[Zenfilter]

It took seven years of a high end sales position to show me consistantly that I'm likable and interesting. People that weren't my family also had no problem seeing how much I cared and wanted to help. Most sales ended in a hug over a handshake.

[kalanidodd]

People keep telling me I need to like myself first. I do like who I am and who I think I am. Still I am an acquired taste. I haven’t consistently found a tribe. And I am learning to be ok with that.