2 Things You Can Do When Someone Is Stonewalling! | Toxic Communication

Stone-wall-ing: THE behaviour that makes you say "hello are you listening to me?!". People feel often rejected when someone stonewalls them. BUT the person who 'stone-walls' often has different and good intentions! Are you feeling rejected, ignored or not listened to - or are you feeling overwhelmed and are trying to calm down?!

Stonewalling is one of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Dr Gottman): Defensiveness, Criticism, Stonewalling and Contempt. These are the 4 styles of Toxic Communication that will damage your relationships and often lead to breakups and hurt.

In this video, I talk about what to do when stonewalling happens to you or your partner!

I am a Counselling Psychologist in my Doctoral training and I make videos on the topics of Relationships, Communication and Sex. While you're here, subscribe, follow me on Facebook, Instagram and see you in another video!

⏳ Timestamps ⏳
0:00 Changing stonewalling
0:43 Four horsemen
1:00 How can stonewalling look like?
2:07 Why does someone stonewall?
2:30 The heart-rate of a stonewaller
2:48 Why stonewall?
3:02 What can you do when someone stonewalls?
3:15 How to take a break from an argument
3:42 Why a safeword can help you during an argument

Disclaimer: Please note that the videos on this channel are for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional psychological therapy. Thoughts and opinions expressed in videos are my own.

[diannerussell]

Stonewalling and ghosting should only be used on people who are extremely abusive toward a person . I cut people off at the pass, if they are rude and abusive, I don't have to answer to a superior, I run my own show so it's a little different for me. Please don't ever use this form of abuse on great and kind loving people because these guns can kill. I know because I was subjected to this behaviour for four and a half years, this man almost drove me to suicide and it all started with me turning down an offer for a date. I never had any idea that there was something seriously wrong with him if I had seen a red flag before this happened I never would have befriended him all those years ago. Like I said Stonewalling and ghosting have their places if the person is toxic do be careful though when using them for they are extremely powerful weapons, and there is no reversing them once you have destroyed that person's life.

[antoniovega]

Really good video Tim! And Thank you for the tip about the safe word! I think it would definetly help a difficult conversation like this one.

[WellerNFriends]

Great subject and thanks for the tips! ❤️

[GoldenGate-rkts]

I asked to men - Why don't you talk?
He said - I don't talk because I've silent nature.
And I think he's narcissistic playing dumb manipulation