Should You Expect Your Family to Babysit Your Kid?

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©Simply Nailogical Inc. All opinions are our own.

[Hippyhop]

A 32 year old asking a 19 year old for money is also super weird

[MintyVoid]

See the thing that's being totally missed, is the 'convo' never happened. There was no asking of boundaries/abilities/wants and this is really common, it's all assumption and expectation that is never talked about or established. A convo will most likely never happen because the expectation always happens first. Communication I've found is suck a lacking skill in most people, it's very frustrating. This seems to be stuff that's trickle down the generations, perhaps from a time where it was actually possible or to when you didn't know anything else(so saying no didn't happen)

[dmclayton]

When my younger sister went back to work, I babysat for them. I charged $10 an hour and people were SHOCKED that I was charging at all.

My sister, her spouse and I talked about this first and we all agreed that I would babysit whenever they needed for work but I would be getting paid for it. If they wanted a date night (take time for you parents) or if they wanted to grocery shop without the kiddos it was free but for work I was to be paid.

People couldn’t seem to understand that to us, even though I’m family, I’m doing a job (for a very cheap rate).

P.S. I love my niece and nephew and would be over often to visit and play with them when not babysitting. So don’t think that I only saw them when “paid to”.

[rainestar]

"only in college and didnt have any serious commitments" so I know thats hitting harder than it would for most people because ive spent YEARS in college due to mental illness issues....college is 100% a serious commitment, even more so than a long term job or especially babysitting. that comment alone made my blood boil, combined with asking people to contribute money AND time while they ALSO get a job...these people are the absolute worse version of Entitled.

[meghanhallen]

Point Blank I don't care about cultural differences if you can't take care of a child by yourself don't have one

[icystorm]

Oh hell nah. When i heard her remark on college i was flabbergasted. College is one of the most stressful times of someone's life. You have to worry about your future, your debts, your relationships, you're academics, your health all while you're growing and changing as a person.

[jayvon]

3:07 extremely true. for example, in many latinx households, the consensus is "you won't put your parents in a nursing home." They expect you to take care of them. While many children are down for this, many are also aware that their parents were abusive, and they simply cannot deal with that anymore. But family will look down at you, along with your parents.

[meghanhallen]

All I can say is nope nobody nope nope I am a mother of five and I would never rely on my family to take care of my children that I decided to have I'm not going to say it was rough when I first started but that's your decision

[redsy-k]

Ohhhh this topic is very close to me as someone who babysits my niece all day even though I've never wanted children or to be responsible for one in the first place. The responsibility just fell on me as the oldest (technically next cuz 2 minutes younger) sibling and as someone unfortunately yet to get a job. which..fair enough I guess.. Mmm I was typing way more because apparently I REALLY need to vent about this, but that's a bit much to put on the internet publicly lmao

[averagehumanperson]

There's nothing wrong with your family helping if you've talked with them and established how involved they're going to be BEFOREHAND.
However, if you just assume something and it turns out differently, that's on you.

[nylasagna]

expecting a 19 year old to do the most in terms of responsibilities makes 0 sense

[nt]

Reeks of main character syndrome from the older sister. The poster has every right to live her life to the fullest, spending her time and money bettering/enjoying her own life FIRST.

Now grandparents on the other hand, if the grandparents had been putting pressure on this older sister to have kids, then I do think they should step up and watch the children when able. But full-time free child care from the whole family seems really unrealistic.

[m_here]

Babysitting is one thing, but asking for money is quite another.

[puppym_arcus]

i don't believe OP is an asshole at all. college is a full-time commitment, and having a part-time job on top of that would fill up their schedule. they shouldn't be expected to help out because they already have their own stuff that keeps them busy. if their sister couldn't afford to take care of her own child (whether that be that she doesn't work as much so she can stay home to care for her children or she hires a babysitter) and is in financial debt, she shouldn't have had children at all. children are a huge commitment and if you can't afford to have them, wait until you can or just don't have them at all.

i do believe that if the family had offered before she even got pregnant to help out a few times a month or something, then that'd be different because they offered to help. but 'mary' is just expecting people to help out even though they can't.

[emyywolf]

Same case for me right now. I don’t like kids. I never wanted kids. And refuse to babysit anyone 🤷🏻‍♀️ simple 🤷🏻‍♀️

[tanvidatey]

As an Asian I was really surprised at this whole situation. I'm sure its a cultural difference, but the way I grew up, every family member was always ready to help with any kids that might be in the family. I understand financial business is a whole other matter which requires a lot of conversation and planning AND agreement. But simply taking care or babysitting was never really an issue

[AngiDas]

That it is a complete insane thing and if this is a true story than that family is very screwed up.