He Has a Girlfriend But Is Still Pursuing Me? HELP!

He Has a Girlfriend But Is Still Pursuing Me? HELP!
Sometimes, guys can just be a little sketchy. And then other times guys can just be straight, cheating, dirtbags who have a girlfriend, and they're trying to pursue you. And on behalf of all men, you women can also be a little shady sometimes. But this video is inspired by one subscriber asking about a very specific situation that was driving her a little crazy. And it's all about what to do when a guy who's got a girlfriend is pursuing you.

And here's a question I got from one of my YouTube subscribers. What if he already has a GF, but he still asked me out for coffee or dinner and likes all my IG posts, especially the deeper dramatic ones. I'm 11 years older, divorced with two kids. So probably stopping him from being with me or am I too shallow? Thank you so much for the question.

So now let me dissect this question just a little bit. You asked, am I too shallow? You are absolutely not too shallow in this situation. In fact, it sounds like you're being thoughtful because you realize this guy's in another relationship and you're trying to think through your future.

Which leads me to point number two, which is you're divorced with two kids. Now it's important for everyone to be very intentional with their love life, but it's especially true when you're a single mom. You now not only have to protect your heart, but you also have to protect your children. So long story short, avoid this man like the plague. But here's the thing—I've been doing this long enough to know that just telling someone to stay away from another person in their love life is not really going to work because it's only going to appeal to your logical side of your brain, which says, "I probably shouldn't do this." And the reality of love and relationships is that most of us make decisions with our emotional brain because that is what love is. It's the most powerful and potent emotion that ever existed.

So for all you women out there who made bad decisions in your love life, what I'm gonna do is show you an exercise where you can connect your logical brain to your emotional brain and start actually making better decisions. So any time you're deciding whether or not to invest more in a guy, what I want you to do is start imagining your future together. My dating advice to you is to imagine your life in three months. Let's say you actually started talking to this guy and things go well, and he breaks up with his girlfriend and you continue seeing him. Well, how are you going to feel at this point? Are you gonna actually be able to trust him? And then fast forward a few more months or even a year forward, and you are now in a relationship with this man, but this whole relationship was founded based on him incredibly sketchy with his last girlfriend. How are you gonna feel about the security of this relationship? Are you ever gonna feel like he is gonna be a guy that you can really settle down with? And then I want you to imagine him if you did marry him, what would he be like as a husband? Would he be caring, thoughtful, attentive to you, or would he be the type of guy who goes out and does whatever he wants whenever he wants it? And then continue down this path and even step forward a few more years, and imagine even if you had children with this man, what would he be like as a father? Would he be an honest, caring, and kind person? Or would he be the type of person who lies to his children and abandons them in the worst way?

This exercise is what I call a relationship simulation. What it forces you to do is take the information that you currently have about a person and try to simulate what it would be like in the future with that person. And rather than going from short-term relationship to short-term relationship, just following every single emotional impulse that we have, this forces you to actually think in the future and actually emotionally connect with each of these milestones. So long story short, is once again, avoid this man like the plague because if you did continue with him, it would be an absolute nightmare of a life you'd be living.

[sianmegginson]

All it is a ego boost if he can betray his girlfriend he will do it to you.

[adrianarivera-alvarez]

Very important for women to not allow this type of behavior. I never want to be someone's second choice. There's great men out there, you just need to set the bar high and value yourself, in order for men to take us serious and respect us. No confident women would allow these type of men on their lives.

[imalwaysme]

Ha, when a taken man is chasing you, you put the breaks on first thing! That way your emotions don't get involved! It's up to us as ladies to not entertain this type of behavior. Once you see that red flag...ROLL OUT... period! It's up to us to control the pursuits...

[EntrepreneursBusinessandServic]

Great video!! I will never get involved with a man who is with another woman. I will not give him the time of day. I need a man to make me his priority and not his side fling.

[dgodfrey]

Pretty simple. Tell him to kick rocks!! And if he dumps his gf...he can still kick rocks. If he's chasing women while he's got a gf he'll do it to you too. Ain't nobody got time for that shit...!

[melaninq]

Why do men do this? My coworker flirts with me all the time and I just found out that he has a gf all this time. He never mentioned his gf in front of me 🙄

[maryhume]

He's a guy that you cannot trust one minute he's with you next minute he's with another woman how do you know you ain't go catch some kind of disease from him

[kimnapped]

Ugh it seems like common sense that a guy in a relationship is off limits and don't even get tangled in that but definitely fallen for a taken man twice. They just make it sound soooo good. "she doesn't care abt me like you do" "ive never felt the way I do abt you w her" ick. I just hope this video reaches the ladies dealing w this situation right now

[REIAh-plaYz]

Had to learn the hard way. I saw this video a week too late. But the red flags were there, and yet once infatuated, it's hard to think clearly. Logical thoughts get sucked into some kind of a black hole in the brain, hoping to be forgotten. The only good thing that came out of it is that I ended it.

[ToyaMel]

This happened to me recently. This guy on twitter kept messaging me saying he thinks I’m beautiful and amazing and he wished he lived closer then I found out a week later he’s in a polygamous relationship with 2 other women. I blocked him so fast. Gross🤢

[lisemelton]

I needed to hear this right now, thank you for helping me to see more clearly

[bluliite]

It's completely offensive to me to be viewed as unmarriable or as a side chick. His attention is NOT flattering. His total lack of regard for my well-being and that of his lady and kids pisses me off. Total turn off, total loss.
Literally, he is the bubonic plague.

[beautifulstranger]

If I am being chase by any attached man I say him upfront that I don’t date taken guys and he has get rid off his gf or wife first. Usually I don’t see them ever again after that 😁

[chantelleclark]

I absolutely agree with this a good indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour. Look for patterns!

[myname]

Oh this is good. You really put things into perspective. I need to watch this video everyday until I get over this guy

[iluvveggies]

I love the air quotes and smile you use when saying he is "breaking up" with his girlfriend to be with you. 🤣🤣

[molliemk]

This exact situation is happening to me also. Thank you x

[GodHelpMe]

Ultimately,

you will heal yourself
through your alignment with God,
and the eternal Truth of who you are.

Breathe slowly,
and deeply into your belly.

Rest in the awareness of your union with God,
your love for God, and God's love for you.
I call it 'sitting in love'.

By sitting in love, you attune vibrationally to Love...
and that is going to change your thinking and your experiences...

Always remember,
your thinking mind/brain is always going to try and convince you
that your suffering is caused by things external to yourself...
That will cause you to be resistant to the eternal Truth.
That is why daily communion with that Love/God is essential,
because that vibrational communion actually assumes/restructures
your thinking mind/brain,
and dissolves that resistance.

You essentially will remember yourself as the Love that you have always been.

You can't go wrong by aligning yourself to God/Source/Christ Mind.

Much success on your journey and much love to you, blessed soul.

[fatimavargas]

I am stressed out about a man who’s married and does not stop flirting with me. I honestly don’t know what else to do. The more I avoid him the more enticed he gets! 😢help! Do a video about that? 😓

[xxjessabugxx]

This has happened to me a lot for 5 years since I’ve been single and searching. These guys would already have a girlfriend, fiancé and a wife and this isn’t open relationship. It makes me hopeless finding a actual potential partner because I worry about that stuff that I’ll end up with somebody that would do the exact same thing that other men would do.I found out another guy that was having the hots for me and now hes engaged to his girlfriend now . Not me him and her.