What holding a grudge says about you.

It's not them, it's you.

[jerryirick]

Holding a grudge affects your relationship with others as well.

[chelseasmith]

Forgiveness does not always mean reconciling or letting that person who has wronged us back into our lives at some point either. There is such a thing as forgiveness without trying to re establish a relationship with the person, as it all depends on the person and the situation and how you guys got there in the first place.

[iowmejj]

Call it what you want .. I don’t have to talk to anyone I don’t want too

[PoisonelleMisty]

Im forgiving because mercy is beautiful. People who hold grudges who low self confidence. After meeting people who hold grudges over pity stuff, i have gained better understanding of the hurt they infect others, its very cruel because you expect perfection from others. We are only humans we make mistakes.

[Enjoytheshow]

Just Preaching but no solutions. People who hold grudges intellectually know all of that and wish they could let go, but there is no button to turn it off. You can do all the self-talk and meditation in the world, but when you don’t wanna think of a pink elephant, all you can think of is the pink elephant. Wanting something/ needing something is different than being able to make it happen. If there is a pill for that, I’ll take it tomorrow. I honestly yearn for a day when people treat our brains like our spines. We have certain thoughts in your brain because there is a biological/revolutionary reason for this trait to exist, not a moral failure or a character flaw. A day when we stop using the word evil to describe people but instead use the word "sick". Not justifications but understanding without overly glorifying mental illness as artistic expressions or "unique" if it harm society or prevents the person from living their best life.
I have to constantly remind myself of human fragility to be able to forgive, reading evolution psychology books or even imagining them naked or babies, but it’s a constant process.

[thecalmingspace]

One thing I've learned is, not to pressure yourself to forgive someone immediately, if you need space from someone for however long THAT IS OKAY!! & probably needed. If you " forgiven" someone ( but not really) and probably not really and still interact with that person, you'll probably cause more damage to yourself or the other person. I wish in a previous friendship, I would have said something like " I need more time, I don't know when I will get back to you, I don't know if or how, but right now I need space and I will process this anger and hurt towards you that I have right now, with God and with myself and even if we do reconnect, boundaries will have to be put in place from now on. But for now, I release you to God".

[bettymedley]

That is the absolute truth. My sister n law keeps holding grudges against me. She is not letting my only brother see me, as a way to hurt me. My brother also thinks similar to her beliefs, and holds grudges against me. The thing is, I never intentionally did anything to them. They expect people to do and say things their way, or they are wrong. I have helped them tremendously. Well I decided to love them from a distance and let them be who they are. I love, and forgive them. We all have made some mistakes. I dont need to keep begging for their forgiveness. I will keep them in prayer.

[nala]

Holding a grudge is like drinking the poison and waiting for the other person to die!

[MrArchos]

I just lost the love of my life because of a grudge.

[gieevjy]

I don't carry grudges. I know how to let "IT" and "YOU" go.

[mariealskinner]

I had kept so many grudges against everyone after what they did to me

[Djkm]

No matter how hard I try, I couldn't let it go right away. It takes a long time for me to do it. My mind tells me that I want payback for what the person did to me.

[KevSon]

It is hard forgiveness because my family and the school culture affect my childhood.

[nikoslions]

I hold many grudges against every enemy I have, and I’m still fine. Besides, it’s their fault I’m filled with so much anger and resentment against them.

[cm-kncd]

I dont like to be around people who hold grudges for petty things. I understand abuse sexual or emotional. Sometimes there are misunderstandings or people lie. I do forgive and yes I have been terribly hurt by family. I have forgiven and it is very hard to forget. I love my family and that wins for me.

[firdoskhanum]

The person who keeps the grudge harming themselves it’s like a like slow poison

[Muratzhangabayev]

Some people are just so awful and toxic that they don't deserve our forgiveness

[nanoelbatero]

No matter how hard I try. My emotions don’t let me let go and I hate that shit about myself

[delilahhart]

What I don't understand is why some people hold grudges over petty BS. If anything, holding grudges and plotting revenge are signs of immaturity. It's like one kid saying to another, "You broke my toy, so I'm now going to break yours!"

[MrBrownsugar]

I hold massive grudges lol seems fine to me