How to Program in Java

How to Program in Java
J2ME programmers count bytes the way a super-model counts calories. – Unknown
Java: write once, run away! –Brucee
If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution. – Robert Sewell
Saying that Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders. – Unknown
Java is a DSL to transform big XML documents into long exception stack traces. – Scott Bellware
The definition of Hell is working with dates in Java, JDBC, and Oracle. Every single one of them screw it up. – Dick Wall CommunityOne 2007: Lunch with the Java Posse
There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. – C.A.R. Hoare (British computer scientist, winner of the 1980 Turing Award)
How to Program in Java
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. – Edsger Dijkstra (Dutch computer scientist, winner of the 1972 Turing Award)
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight. – Bill Gates
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it. – Brian W. Kernighan
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. – Martin Golding
When debugging, novices insert corrective code; experts remove defective code. – Richard Pattis
Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make somebody an expert painter. – Eric S. Raymond (American programmer, open source software advocate, author of “The Cathedral and the Bazaar”)
Most good programmers do programming not because they expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but because it is fun to program.- Linus Torvalds
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. – Rich Cook
How to Program in Java