Why Avoidants Show Their True Self After 6 Months

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In today's video, Thais Gibson reveals why the avoidant attachment style (dismissive avoidant) often shows their true self after 6 months. Watch now to learn why each of the relationship stages, especially the first 3, play a crucial role in the avoidant attachment's chances for long-term success as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "The Key Pillars Necessary to Create a Secure Relationship", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!

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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:16 - 6 Stages To Every Relationship
00:04:05 - The Avoidant and Dating Stage
00:05:46 - The Power Struggle Stage
00:06:36 - Lifetime Promo
00:08:44 - What To Do: Communicating Needs
00:11:58 - 7 Day Free Trial: The Key Pillars Necessary to Create a Secure Relationship
00:12:29 - Conclusion

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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.

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Our Youtube videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.

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[paularyan]

I hope to never get into another relationship with another avoidant ever again. It has taken me six years, a lot of self-education and a lot of therapy to finally understand why someone whom I am absolutely positive loved me, rejected me in such a harsh way. I have spent all this time trying to understand why. And once I understood that it truly was not about me ( I am clear that I am not flawless and made mistakes, also based upon my attachment style, ) but was actually about themselves, I am finally able to put it down.
I am looking forward to a first date tomorrow, and hoping that by understanding attachment styles, I will be able to regain my confidence and to hold my own, however things turn out.
Whatever topics you choose to cover, they are all relevant and incredibly important for healing. Thank you.

[ferdinandoquinteros]

More than 3 months since she destroyed me leaving me shocked. Now I'm in the best moment of the year. Trust me guys, let them go. It's go for you, your family, your health. I know it's hard at the begining but after working on yourselves you'll rise much much stronger.

[singingstars]

Avoidants can't communicate. They run away. Unless they are really self-aware and emotionally mature (most are not). They will not hear you.

[Revolution-tlwo]

The hardest thing was learning that just because we were friends for months before dating did not mean that I knew anything about who this person would be in a relationship. Unfortunately I let them move in way too soon because I thought those months of friendship were the same as vetting him. If you want to protect yourself from the destruction a DA will cause in your life once the power struggles start, DON'T LET THEM ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR HOME OR ANYTHING ELSE IMPORTANT TO YOU. Everything is fair game once a DA decides they don't care about you anymore, and they do not care what impact they have when they act out their negative feelings toward you on their way out.

[myhandleis]

I have expressed my needs so delicately and the promises of change are always said. He never followed through. Avoidants are exhausting and not worth the time spent on them.

[norswil]

Most will have no idea about these attachment issues and will sabotage the relationship with their anxious behaviours in reaction to dip of affection from their partner. I experienced a breakup recently that was classic AP/DA clash, but I was just as guilty of sabotaging us, maybe more so. She was DA but had done a lot of work and leaned heavily secure, until triggered — if I had been aware of attachment style and all the psychology happening I could have saved us. It’s all so covert, your avoidant will silently bottle up all their fears until one day they push away and eventually leave you.

[ChrystalSafariRoy]

It was PERFECT and what I’d always wanted. Then, he threatened to leave at the 6 month mark because I was too good for him.

[nuraycelebi]

It all comes down to whether the DA wants to communicate and heal or not. It does not matter how strong their feelings are, they have to WANT TO WORK ON THEMSELVES. And as most of the people here can attest, vast majority of them do not want it. I like Thais’ channel, I believe she is one of the few who speaks openly and in a scientific manner about it. But I also find it mostly on the positive/hopeful side rather than being more realistic, ie DA will respond to do the work. I think the likelihood of this happening should also be underlined which is extremely LOW, so that it will not give false hopes to people in relationships with DAs or trying to heal from relationships with them. That will hurt them more in the end.

[awerten]

It's so hard and painful. My Ex DA broke up with me 6 months ago, out of the blue I'm fine and try to move on
However every single day I think of him...

[mepulley]

This video is helpful, but I assure you, the DA will NEVER change unless they want to. RUN AWAY from these people. They will leave you struggling for years to understand - Its them not you.

[Andyange]

My DA avoided talking about anything because of her fear of conflict. So nothing got resolved until she ran away.

[Al-Sahem-Al-Ghul]

The power struggle phase started in year 10 of my relationship with my wife. She’s a DA, and she started flaw finding until she found her way out. Now we’re separated and she has already moved on to another poor unfortunate soul. I was an Anxious, but through therapy and stuff I am very much secure now. And watching her follow the same pattern she followed with me is sad and borderline amusing because I’ve expressed this stuff to her. She doesn’t seem to care. She’s a textbook DA, unfortunately.

[danielhicks]

I think these time lines (6mo/1yr) are arbitrary. An avoidant will show “avoidant” tendencies the entire way

[carlahouze]

It was spot on 6 months into my first marriage and 2nd marriage. Yes I know... I was an idiot. 7 yrs marriage first marriage and 24 yrs 2nd marriage. I'll never get into a relationship again!

[pauladavis]

I have a really good strategy, walk away. Lol. It's just draining and hurtful. Been broken up for a year, but got sucked back in way too many times only to keep reliving the same crap. Ain't nobody got time for that!!

[sifublack]

I've always theorized that one of the biggest problems people have with avoidants is their romance timeline. This is one trait I resonate with because I like to observe people's behavior before I get too invested. I usually find that people relax into themselves around the eight month mark (as opposed to the sixth) and it's here where they show their true colors. This is why I have a 12-18 month vetting period before considering marriage.

That said, this dynamic is definitely going in my book. Given that there's a three year period in the three books I'm going to write, this conflict between the characters' growing attraction for each other whilst hunting the ultimate apex predator as a career should be really good in showing their human side. Great video!

[D_B]

That is a GREAT point-ease into sharing your needs and feelings; the avoidant will push away someone provoking feelings as part of shutting out his own! The more I read the comments, the more I have to lean towards those who say 'run, don't walk, away!'

[r_and_a]

as an FA who prefers relationships with DAs (romantic & platonic) i always appreciate the compassionate insight PDS provides, especially in contrast to many others who seem to cater to those wanting to be told everything's someone else's problem 💜

personally find the dynamic with DAs naturally encourages & reinforces me working on my own personal development 😇 it's a win-win in so many ways as i become more secure regardless but that also improves my relationship with DAs!

PDS has been incredibly helpful to intentionally navigate my current relationship better & more effectively address my own issues - just wish i could relate to the "stages" 🥴 it's been fairly long, complicated & evolving so it's hard to tell where we fit, lol

[Badmomsclub]

During my power struggle stage.. I pretty much said to my DA.. “you can pick apart all of My flaws but refuse to see the flaws of your own ❤”. This was a very big turning point for us!❤

[CarlaCarlie]

I left after her, she came back 3 times in 7 years. She still didn't want to make plans for the future. I was done and heartbroken...