August 3, 2024

[mom.left.me.at.michaels]

"Just be here for me!!" - Am I not standing right here?! 😅 How can I be more here?!

[Pickle_Candy]

"I just need to curl into a ball and not be perceived for 15 hours" is so 100% me.

[WaysideArtist]

This is spot on. You're so good at portraying the social confusion we experience - friendships, yes, but also family and work relationship struggles.

[sodab]

“Would you like me to listen, give advice, or comfort?”
This question is very helpful, it gives someone (who can be upset in this situation) an option to choose from, and makes it easier for the other person to help their friend.

[Aeternus_Nox]

As a neurotypical person with close neurodivergent friends, the following might help with the first one.

If someone is hurting, struggling, or otherwise not doing great, say the following:

"How can I help you? Do you need advice? Someone to just listen? Do you need distracting? Do you need space?"

If they need advice, pragmatically break the problem down and help suggest solutions. My closest friend is autistic and she's awesome at that, and it's what guy friends will be looking for the vast majority of the time.

If they want someone to listen, just let them vent and ask questions. You don't need to give any input unless they ask. Just ask for clarification on details or follow-up questions as though you're curious about what happened. If you're stuck on what to ask then "How are you feeling?" or "How did that make you feel?" work most of the time.

If they want distracting, just suggest a few options for something you could do together. You're looking for roughly three options that require concentration, but that don't require 100% focus (think like playing a chill game, watching a TV show while discussing it together, or baking). Enough to take their mind off it, but not where it'll go wrong if they aren't completely on task. Then just don't bring up what's wrong, you only need to talk about it if they do.

If they want space, just politely tell them that you understand and you're there if they need you. Go do something else and leave it until they contact you (other than just to check in if they go a long time with no contact).

Run through that, and they'll usually feel like you are "there for them" even if you've zero clue what they mean by it. What they're meaning by "here for me" is essentially "making yourself available and offering the kind of help they need".

I'm not sure if that description helps at all, I tried to word it in a clear, straightforward way, but if you want clarification, just ask.

[BasilissaKleo]

Actually, that's the most caring thing ever... asking people how they like to be comforted ❤

[Roman_zBP]

LI-TE-RA-LLY
The shock when they finally explain that being "understanding of other people" does not mean knowing all about their problem and giving the perfect solution, response and a metaphor to describe it to them to show that you care, but just being around them and saying that you care and understand how sad they are on emotional level😃

[paulinejulien]

So relatable… especially people misinterpreting how I’m feeling because I don’t have the ‘right’ facial expression or body language…

[maxluvscats]

i wish friendships weren't so confusing and difficult to understand.. :(( during my autism assessment, the psychologist(?) asked me to describe what friendship is/what makes someone a friend. and for the first time in my life i realized that i didnt understand what friendship actually was. my answer was literally "someone whos nice to me????" because i didnt know what else to say

[Topaz]

Friendly reminder for those who take medication and often forget to take them (like me): go take your medication if you haven't yet! 😊❤💊

[larafranke]

"I can never tell if you enjoying yourself or if you like me" even just hearing this words stresses me out...
First it had been complaints about something that could be explained more or less easily but then the "do you even like me?" gets thrown in. This stresses me out and really messes with my head... 😵‍💫

[x.vmpre.mney.x]

This is so real. My way of with people venting, is giving advice and saying "your feelings are valid and maybe you could do this to help" unfortunately ive noticed not many people, specifically nuerotypical people, dont like that.

So i now ask "do you want to just vent, comfort, or advice?" Because ive gotten yelled at or blocked for giving advice because i thought thats what youre supposed to do

[Macaron_the_Animal]

Half of my bsfs family died in a fire and when i couldnt comfort her she understood. Shes perfect. She knows im autistic AND understands! I just stood there and patted her back because i didnt know how to respond. I told her that i was having a hard time comforting her but that i was really sorry ( i felt horrible for her) she just stopped me and said "its ok, i get it. You're doing good."

[S_w__oo__s_h]

The 'You always seem so miserable."is so relatable like what do you expect me to do, start skipping around going"La lala la laa I'm so happy right now 😄🎶"

[Robinv]

Yep and then it’s “ugh I’ve told you a million times!” But like??? “Be there for me” is a very broad statement

[ddbell]

I have never felt more understood than with the sentence “ I just need to curl up in a ball & not be perceived for the next 15 hours”

[EGGrun]

As a neurotypical person I find these videos very helpful too ❤, we should all learn to give more specific instructions, opinions and questions. That way communication would be much more effective and less exhausting with all those guessing games.

[jasminev]

so relatable man. when i feel like my diagnosis isn't real, I'm thankful to have creators like you sharing your experiences to remind me I'm not faking anything, and that my experience is valid

[uznaimat]

I feel like every time you want to be comforting or helpful to someone in crisis, you should ask, "How can I help?" or "What do you need?"

[njb]

I swear it’s like you read my mind with these videos. Everything is so relatable and similar to my own experiences. I’ve been professionally diagnosed as Schizoid and autistic