RACE CAR - B.Y.O.G.K.

Are you guys familiar with the name “Shrink Ray”?

When it comes to music, I mean. If you’ve been keeping a close eye on my channel, you may remember hearing a track of his back in May’s mix. He was that one Californian country-garage-rock guy who wrote songs about horses and stuff, which coincidentally enough, is just about the name of the tape that the track originated from: “Some Songs About Horses... And a Quick Trot with Satan through the City, Into the Woods, and Down to Hell”. I first heard about that particular tape from the guy who put it together, Raymond Schmidt, earlier that month, and quickly grew fond of his little project. However, I didn’t find it to be something that would fit in with the rest of the content on my channel, so I made a compromise by including the tape’s opening track on May’s mix instead. Raymond expressed his thanks, and I figured that’d just about be the last I’d hear from my favorite horse-lover.

Surprise-surprise, I was wrong. Last month, Raymond contacted me again to let me know that his “silly grind band” would be playing in my state at some fest I didn’t care for, while subsequently mentioning that he had a whole new solo project in the works, inexplicably going under the name of “Race Car.” To try and explain it, he said that he was going through a “go-kart phase” and was a “huge fan of recreational vehicles”, if that clears anything up for you. Oh, and after I told Raymond the name of the city I lived in, he linked me some shitty showcase video where some crone cherry-picked a handful of nice, suburban areas up north, I guess to try and sell you on moving there. The video was recorded up near city hall--y’know, the part of the city where all previously-abandoned lots are quickly filled in with Whole Foods stores, and there aren’t more trailer parks than there are schools—which is just about the polar opposite of the southern portion of the city that I currently live in. Anyways, the video panned over a horse and—more importantly—some sick race cars, which obviously, were both pointed out by Raymond, “selling” him on my city. Shit, both horses AND race cars, in MY city? It’s like it was meant to be! I’m clearly eligible—no, DESTINED to share Raymond’s “Race Car” tape, I can’t see anyone doing it any better than me.

So here you go, Race Car’s “B.Y.O.G.K.” (Build Your Own Go Kart), brought to you by the one and only Raymond Schmidt, A.K.A. Shrink Ray. This tape was released by Abnormal Broadcasting, best known as the label that has bands like Sunk, The Must, and The Snails in their catalogue, as opposed to OJC Recordings, which is the label that first released Raymond’s Shrink Ray tape. When I asked Raymond for any information on his project, he replied with an .rtf file that, frankly, contained a shitload of nonsense. That’s not me being bitter and insincere, even he knew that it was a bunch of shit. Like, I don’t even know where to start with it, exactly. The very first thing that’s written in the document is a, um, “applicable” quotation. Here’s the verbatim quote:

“’Fuck fear conditioning tactics employed by the public school system
ALL kids just want to fuckin rip on go-karts and be free’
-rumple stiltskin”

I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume that Rumpelstiltskin said that in some ancient German fable that I’m not familiar with. Uh, aside from that quote, shit, I dunno where to even go from there. I can’t exactly copy and paste his writings here, since it was tailored for me to write it down in my own words, but even then, it’s hard to accomplish that when Raymond uses atypical phrases like “wild dickspit”. It wouldn’t be fair of me to keep highly-articulated writing like that from you guys, so instead prepare yourselves for an excessive usage of quotes. Because honestly, nobody can explain it better but Raymond himself; and by “explain it better”, I obviously mean “make any sense out of this bullshit, like, at all”.

So, Raymond’s really just lookin’ to “vroom as fast as I can, be it by horse, recreational vehicle, or small black SUV”. Or, as he eloquently puts it, “grippin it and rippin it my dude”. While Raymond may be “saddling up” to release another Shrink Ray tape, he felt that a “trusty steed” like that is a “lifer project” that’s not bound to leave him anytime soon, meaning that he can freely work on something a bit more eccentric and different in the meantime. Oh, excuse me, I obviously meant that Raymond can freely “excrete some wild dickspit” in the meantime. Said wild dickspit is what you’re listening to right now: Race Car.

[The Remaining portion of the write-up is found in the comments.]

TRACK LIST:
911! Dang Wolf – 0:00
Government Funded Terror Lunch – 1:46
I Just Want A Go-Kart –3:42
I.S.S. Is For Me – 5:12

[Mrhermens]

Abnormal Broadcasting is fuckin killin it

[AwkwrdMmnt]

glad this has been uploaded to your channel, i've been jamming to track 3 all this week

[GeordieHandle]

I like this, it's dancey. nice and diffrent.

[jimmythedog.]

[cont.]

Lyrically, half of this material originated from a drunken conversation that Raymond had with Kyle Kennedy, of Sex Prisoner, about a “specific Jefferson City Missouri Middle School Vice Principal named Dr. Patton”, as well as another “schwastered conversation” about in-school suspension. According to Raymond, the other half of the tape is simply composed wants and needs that he “could care less about”, with him only really pining for a “damn go-kart OKAY I need more recreational money”. During the tape’s recording process, Ray asked his buddy, Joshua “Blue Diamond” Adams to be the head of his “pit team”, aiming to add his mixing and “musical sauce” to Raymond’s “pissed pasta”; because—as we all know—SOMEONE’S gotta “air the tires and keep me huffed up on Dust Off, ” since “tunnel vision is the only way to win the race”. Relatable, right?

Since the two didn’t have a sponsor to mooch money off of, they instead cooked up a scheme where every purchase of Race Car’s “B.Y.O.G.K.” would, obviously, come with a complementary go-kart (some assembly is required). Its safety and functionality isn’t guaranteed, as it’s provided for you to “live or die by”. Um, this next line that Raymond wrote is a little weird, so I’m gonna go ahead and just copy and paste it so you can try to make sense out of it yourself: “At the moment, we’re mostly just concerned with fitting our feet with the new re-issued vans prison issue shoes so we can keep up this persona of recently freed angsty teens who just left the a correctional facility ready to create my tamagachi e-cig invention and his line of nonalcoholic vodka.. So yeah, any cash helps really.” I’m guessing that Raymond’s saying that the two are mostly looking to get some extra money to take care of themselves, and providing a free recreational vehicle with every purchase his tape was the best incentive they could think of. Now, am I implying that you’ll actually get a full-fledged go-kart—completely functioning, totally ridable, and NOT just a foldable image printed on the backside of the tape’s multi-paneled j-card—with every purchase of Race Car’s “B.Y.O.G.K.”?

Yes. Yes I am. Give Raymond your money.

Er, and I guess give your money to Abnormal Broadcasting too, as they’re the label who’s hosting and selling Raymond’s tape on their Bandcamp page. Raymond asked that I specifically mention that Grant, the guy behind Abnormal Broadcasting who plays in Sunk, The Must, and The Snails, is a total sweetie and all of his label’s releases are “sick”. Oh, and he also said for me to make it clear that Josh “Blue Diamond” Adams does NOT live in L.A. (he’s a “desert rat”), which is where Raymond currently lives. Ray moved to the city two years ago, from Missouri. According to him, L.A. is “meh”, with there being plenty of cool shit that nobody actually bothers doing. From his Midwesterner perspective, living in L.A. is like constantly living in that year where “the PacSun just opened up in town and now everyone is wearing Billabong tees and DC shoes”. Again, relatable. I think.


Shit, that’s a lot of writing, I’m feeling pretty tapped out now. Look, the one thing that you’ve gotta know is that Raymond is SPEEDING FAST. Like, way, way, WAY faster than you’ll ever be, and this almost-solo-project of his is a true testament to his fiery pace. It’s similar to his Shrink Ray project, sharing a comparable amount of southern twang in his instrumentation and delivery, while supplementing a slower, drawn-out pace with an appropriately-dialed up tempo. Y’know, like a speeding go-kart. The technical influences of his Shrink Ray project is present as well, with these tracks often utilizing various synth tones and sound clips alongside the anticipated drum machine, as first demonstrated in Shrink Ray (albeit then-programmed by Cruz Somers instead of Raymond). Combine all that with these groovy, hecka infectious rhythms, and boy, you’ve got the perfect soundtrack to listen to while you blaze down residential streets in your brand-new go-kart (remember, one is included with every purchase of “B.Y.O.G.K.”!). This tape is great, but you probably already know that by now; in the time it took you to read this whole fucking thing, you’ve likely already finished listening to the tape. Not that you needed an excuse to listen to this speedy-shindig all over again. Remember everyone, “Fuck fear conditioning tactics employed by the public school system, ALL kids just want to do is fuckin rip on go-karts and be free”. Rumpelstiltskin said that, y’know.

And just for clarification, the complementary go-kart is really just a foldable piece of paper that you can cut out of the tape’s j-card. No real go-kart, okay? I wouldn’t want to swindle anyone into thinking that they’re getting a free recreational vehicle to grip n’ rip, I’d feel too bad. Kinda like those ads in comic books about x-ray goggles and shit, that’s not fair. You CAN pay $3 to the link below if you wanna buy an audio cassette tape that’s got some sick tunes recorded on it though.

[vedicardi]

i love go karts dont fuck with drum machines tho